2nd term

North 3.3

Crows 3.6

Gone from 5/31 to 5/87 have the Lankans

Another 20 to 30 and they can declare

Div 2 Reserves Elimination Final

Broadview 9.10 64 D PHOS 9.6 60

Hectorville and North Haven advertising on SAAFL website for senior coaches. Didn't Hectorville just win the Div 5 Premiership.

Is it in their constitution to advertise each year???

My understanding is that Phil Neagle was going to give up coaching at the end of this season regardless of any results. (spoke with him preseason) Getting a Premiership was just the icing on the cake for him :D

Season over done and dusted, very enjoyable.

One wonders however if the attached photo would be the biggest run through banner every made for junior footy

carey wrote:Swans- by 32
Norm Smith- Mitchell with 36 to edge out Buddy with 5 goals.
1st Goal- Buddy

I'm also picking a big report out of this game. Maybe Picken to get 4 or 5 weeks.

Geez that was close lol

I was served by a gorgeous young lady at the supermarket checkout this afternoon.
As I was about to pay she gave me a sexy smile & said "Strip down, facing me." Excited, I did as she demanded.
As I removed my clothes the screaming & laughter got louder.
When I took my undies off security grabbed me, covered my privates & marched me off.
Apparently "Strip down, facing me" meant how I was supposed to swipe my Visa card.

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards,
then backwards, forward, then backwards again....back and forth...back and forth...
in and out...in and out ...
Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed ...
then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,
"OK, OK!
I CAN'T park the bloody car!
You do it, you SMUG bastard!"

Jim05 wrote:Both Marsh's LBW, Mitch for 0

time for him to go, is a spud, the Ty Vickery of Australian cricket

Aust lost 5/32, will trail on the 1st innings here

A very successful Attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911
Turbo in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he was getting out, a truck came barrelling down the
road, drifted right and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a Cop was close enough to see the accident and
pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche with his lights flashing.
Before the Cop had a chance to ask any questions, the
Attorney started screaming hysterically about how his precious Porsche,
which
he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and no
matter how any Car Body Shop tried to make it new again, would never be
the same. Being an Attorney, he was going to sue the Truck Driver, his
Employer and even his drivers education Teacher!
After the Attorney finally wound down from his rant, the Cop
shook his head in disbelief;
" I can't believe how materialistic you Lawyers are!" he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you
neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the Attorney.
The cop replied,
"Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed
when the truck hit you!"
"Oh sh**!" screamed the lawyer. . .
"My Rolex!"

A nun gets into a cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull in to the next alley."
The nun fulfils his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a fancy dress party."

BEER - BY SEVEN YEAR OLDS


A handful of 7 year old children in Australia were asked what they thought of beer.
There were some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets.'
--Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.'
--Melanie, 7 years old

'My Mum and Dad both like beer. My Mum gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think it is very funny.'
--Grady, 7 years old

''My Mum and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'
--Toby, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.'
--Lily, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'
--Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'
--Shirley, 7 years old

AND THE BEST RESPONSE

'My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father.
Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'

--Jack, 7 years

9 down, watch when the SAFRICANS bat it will become a batsmans paradise

We batted crap, they bowled well.

They batted better, we bowled pretty well and a great spell from Starc pulled it back a bit,

They have 2 very good batters at the crease, need to knock them over first thing tomorrow to have any chance.

I actually enjoyed watching today, rather see wickets fall than a 2/400 day

So we give Dalton or Winter a go and see if they are up to it. If with either of them aren't, then we go looking for someone interstate.


Wouldn't play Jake Winter as yet, only 19 and finding his way but is a talent. Know he went to England in the off season and played some county cricket but not sure of how he went there, certainly doing well in district cricket but blood him through the futures programme and the SACA 2nd 11, have met him a few times is a likeable lad and given time could be a huge bonus for SA/Aust cricket

Renshaw has been kissed on the dick this innings, must have played and missed a good dozen times this innings so far

You make your own luck, plus I think there is a lot of Marcus Trescothick playing inside the line about it.

Love his attitude.

Not sure having a traditionally deadbat style opener is such a bad thing to protect our middle order from the swinging ball by just taking the shine of it

Alot these days seem to play outside their limitations, this guy just does what he does best, bit like the SFRICAN opener that scored the ton, just play with what you know best

100 up for Handscomb well batted young man

All out 429, lets see what happens in the next 1/2 hr

Maddinson gone for 4, 3rd ball, clearly has to be dropped

The Dark Knight wrote:Starc gets the first wicket, good catching again in the slips by Renshaw. Pakistan 1/31

dont want to put the mockers on Renshaw but geez he has a clean pair of hands at 1st slip, reminds me of Ian Chappells catching all those decades ago

Unreal way to finish the game.

Great Test match

Another few weeks away from night time TV

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die!

How much longer do we have to listen to these commentators making excuses for the pies Starc is bowling

Lunch

PAkistan 7/433

Ali 196*

Khan 65*

Obviously going to try and knock us over twice quickly.

May well be Lyon's last test this one, has not had any penetration again, if the Pakistani spinners come on and create mayhem which i think they may its seeya later Gary

TEA TIME

Aust 1/131

Warner 77* off 78 need to turn this into a big 100

Usam 39* off 53 playing a great support role

Cant afford to lose wickets in this next session

Great ton to Renshaw, double it lad

RB wrote:I've nothing against a woman commentating but I'm not sure why a Pom has got the gig. I don't believe England are playing in this Test Series...

might have something to do that she is quite good at her craft and has a good knowledge of the game

O'Keeffe readily admits he is not a big turner of the ball but relies on his change of pace and flight (well thats what Kerry said anyway) Not a big fan of his but there isnt too many other options on the dance floor right now

Zartan wrote:Cummins & Starc to come, i still there is enough fire power to push past 250

no way

The 16 man squad for Australia's tour of India is announced tomorrow.

Meanwhile Stephen O'Keefe took 9/52 in an innings in Sydney grade cricket today.
http://www.cricket.com.au/news/steve-okeefe-test-squad-india-australia-nine-wickets-sydney-grade-cricket-bbl/2017-01-14

bloody big difference taking 9 wickets in a district game to a test match ;)

Head continues to frustrate, gets a start looks a million dollars and gets out for 29

Aust 4/105 after 21

Brodlach wrote:First ball globe for Marsh

should never play again for Australia has become an embarrassement

Brodlach wrote:First ball globe for Marsh

Since the start of October, Mitch Marsh has been dismissed for four or less in 10 out of 22 innings (all formats). Five of those ducks.

Wedgie wrote:

Slots It Through wrote:

Keefy wrote:Four more players are extending their stays at South with Crabb, Gotch, Fields and Daniel all re-signing with the club

I have heard Joel Cross is heading back to Melbourne.

Crossy at South training tonight.

Think he has to do what Alice tells him

great knock Trav

This is poor batting no need to try to be hitting every ball for 6

whufc wrote:A very very very impressive ton by Stoinis

Technique, skill, brains, work rate this innings had it all

His performance albeit in just this match has put me well and truly back in my place. well done to the lad, just get rid of that big headed strut and i may like you

well done S.A. top order again, sorry to say but they can no longer carry Ferg, has to get the chop

Blow it, let's offend everyone!





I came out of the chip shop with a meat/potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sitting there, said, “I've not eaten for two days.”
I told him, “I wish, I had your will power!”


I took my biology exam last Friday.
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "young blacks" and "Romanian gypsies" were not the correct answers.


A fat girl took a while to serve me in McDonald's at lunch time today.
She said, “Sorry about the wait.”
I said, “Don't worry dear. You might lose it eventually.”


I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any change?”
I said “No, you're still black”.


Snow in the forecast!
The TV weather girl said, she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, "Fat chance with a face like that!"


An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road.
A man asks him,“What's wrong?”
The boy says,“Me ma is dead”.
“Oh bejaysus," the man says.
“Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?”
The boy replies,“No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on me mind at the moment..”


Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !


Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed,
that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.


I hate all this terrorist business.
I used to love the days, when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or a bus,
and think to yourself, "I'm gonna take that!"



Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland .
He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him, “Where am I ?”
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back, "You can't fool me. You're in that basket up there."


I had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question, - which I got wrong.
The question was:

"Where do women have the curliest hair ?"
Apparently the correct answer is Fiji .


A woman has a medical at the doctors...
“You are grossly overweight,” he says.
"I want a 2nd opinion,” she exclaims.
"OK. You're bloody ugly as well.”


That should more or less offend everyone

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and He shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . .


Wait for it. .


It's coming. .



The suspense is killing you, isn't it?




She says :





'You just happened to catch my eye.'

(Oh shut up, and just forward it!)

Seen running laps at Prospect today

Coach Bombay wrote:People clapped when got bowled. Embarrassing

One innings left to get something or he has to go, should not have been selected for this game on recent form

Booney wrote:http://www.ga.gov.au/earthquakes/initRecentQuakes.do


Magnitude 2.7, just off Panalatinga Road and Kelly Road intersection.

about the same magnitude of my farts then after a curry

Thrashed by 124 runs.

What crap excuses will they come up with this week.

Here is a side that has so much batting talent and it struggles to make 200 in an innings.

The bowlers must surely be thinking WTF.

Not good enough, shows how crap our district scene is, watch them drop 2 or 3 that will then go out next weekend and smash big hundreds in district comp

LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

need a huge start, our tail begins at 4