SANFL GRAND FINAL jokes

[mal]

First of all congratulations to CD and WWT for making the Grand Final.
Lets start the jokes/sledging/humour/sadness before the game starts.

Please note the gags I am posting should not be taken seriously by
CD/WWT supporters, it is intending to be light banter.

A few of my gags will be recycled jokes, but may still cause a laugh or to.
I suppose the themes might be
Centrals/ feral jokes
WWT/ g/f choker jokes
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A man took his wife and family to the movies and after the movies finished
walked out and told his wife,
" Centrals beat Woodville West Torrens in the Grand Final today."
His wife responds,
" How the hell do you know that weve been watching a movie all afternoon?"
" Its 5 oclock dear!"

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In front of me at Elizabeth oval one game there was a guy with a Centrals scarfe
on, a dole bludger, a car thief, and a dickhead.......
and that was just one person !

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MT79 sorry I pinched your gags

[Pseudo]

A man took his wife and family to the movies and after the movies finished
walked out and told his wife,
" Centrals beat Woodville West Torrens in the Grand Final today."
His wife responds,
" How the hell do you know that weve been watching a movie all afternoon?"
" Its 5 oclock dear!"

What movie did they see?

[mal]

Why cant you get a cup of tea at Woodville Oval ?

All the mugs are on the field, and all the cups are at Elizabeth

[mal]

A few years ago Centrals flew a Zimbawean lad over to play footy.
In a trial game he played full forward and kicked the winning
goal after the siren and kicked 11 goals.
The lad was destined for greatness.
After the game he rang his mother to tell her his exciting news.
" Mother I am star I kick goal to win game and they like me lots
and coach say I play football this year, mother you happy for me?"
" Son we have a bad day, our house burn down, you sister raped,
and dad got bashed and in hospital."
" Sorry mum it my fault I was one who make family shift to Elizabeth!''

[scott]

A few years ago Centrals flew a Zimbawean lad over to play footy.
In a trial game he played full forward and kicked the winning
goal after the siren and kicked 11 goals.
The lad was destined for greatness.
After the game he rang his mother to tell her his exciting news.
" Mother I am star I kick goal to win game and they like me lots
and coach say I play football this year, mother you happy for me?"
" Son we have a bad day, our house burn down, you sister raped,
and dad got bashed and in hospital."
" Sorry mum it my fault I was one who make family shift to Elizabeth!''

LMAO, oh god!! That's cruel.

[Dutchy]

Mr Arsenal

[bayman]

last week at the 2nd semi a cop caught a wwt supporter jumping the fence the cop told him to go back & watch the rest of the game

[mal]

The 2007 SANFL Premiership was made a soccer game due
to the inequities in previous years between CD /WWT

The CD boys were getting bored of winning finals with
monotomous regularity and agreed to the proposal made
by new WWT coach Ricky Macgowan.

To make things fair the Gowans brothers Chris and James
have given the team the day off and have decided to take on
WWT by themselves.
The rest of the team agreed, and are spending the day in the
front bar of the Leg Trap hotel.
The day in the pub was a pleasure for the lads with that affible
erstwhile character Lukey Cowans winning the beer skulling
competition, whilst the loveable Jason Mckenzie won the eat the
quickest counter meal competition.
Elijah went for the Noodle soup,
Danny ate the seafood.
Brad got into the hot stuff.
Luke Mccabe ate raw meat in honour of his Port mate [ number25]
Quinno turned up late as he started pre season training in the morning!!!.

The TV was turned on at the 30 minute mark of the first half
with the score GOWANS... 2...... WWT... 0
Goals: C Gowans[21 mins], J Gowans[28 mins]

The chant started at the Leg Trap
Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou dawgs.

The lads then celebrated, Quinno the notable exception who was doing push ups!

Later the TV was turned on at the 90 minute mark and to the
shock of the players Joey Pedler grabbed a couple of loose balls
and scored twice in a matter of seconds the score GOWANS 2...WWT 2....

The lads left the pub and raced down to AAMI staduim.
The game had just been completed at 2-2 all as the lads found the dischontulant
brothers weeping in the change rooms.
Rhodes Scoullar approached Chris and asked " Why are you crying Chris, you
and James took on the whole WWT team and drew, the lads are really really
proud of youse."
" I let the boys down I pulled a hamstring at the 31 minute mark, sorry lads"
Meanwhile James was balling uncontrollably, he was a wreck.
Chad Osullivan went to James Gowans and said. " James dont cry mate you did
a fantastic job, Chris did a hammy and you beat WWT by yourself."
" Nah Chaddy I let the lads down badly its its its all my fault."
Chad puts his arm round his mate." James we are proud of you mate, you took them
on and gave us a day off at the pub, it aint your fault mate.
" Chad this is the 2nd worse day of my life, the worst was when we played at 'AINT KILDA."
" James you did great today, you and Chris drew 2-2 all with WWT you guys are champs."
James became agitated:"Listen Chad it was my fault we bloody drew, I got red carded and sent off at the 32 minute mark!

[CENTURION]

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN EAGLES SUPPORTER & A CATFISH?
ONE'S GOT WHISKERS & SMELLS.......
AND THE OTHER ONE'S A FISH!

[Rik E Boy]

Why cant you get a cup of tea at Woodville Oval ?

All the mugs are on the field, and all the cups are at Elizabeth

LMAO

[Rik E Boy]

Q- Who plays in the SANFL Grand Final?
A- Eagles and the winners

Q- What's green and **** Eagles?
A- AAMI Stadium

Of course they were originaly Geelong jokes that used to be Collingwood jokes

regards,

REB

[mal]

Lindsay Head a triple Magarey Medalist and one of the best WWT players
the club has ever produced was caddy to current legend
the brilliant Hayden Skipworth for a round of golf.
The two got to the 15th hole and Skipworth was confronted
with a large tree in front of the tee.
HEAD:" Skippy when I was your age I played the 15th seventy
five times and got a hole in one 66 times!"
SKIPPY then played and hit 9 shots into the tree and on his tenth
shot managed to get the ball over the tree.
SKIPPY: "Your must have been some sort of a freak Mr Head you got 66 hole in ones
in 75 tries and I took 10 shots to get over the tree, tell me how did you do it?"
HEAD: " Easy Hayden in 1955 the tree was only a bush."


On Lindsay Head I saw him at the end of his illustrious career, the mans skill
level was sensational in bygone eras of get it and kick it, his evasive skills
were second to none.
He also owned a trotting pacer in the mid seventies called My Gal Sal.

The best 3 WWT players I have seen.

1...MAL Blight
2...Lindsay Head
3...Matt Pavlich

[eaglehaslanded]

Why wasn't Jesus born in Elizabeth?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin

[Punk Rooster]

A while ago, Geelong player Gary Hocking changed his name to "Whiskas" for one day.
Apparently, Justin Cicolella will be doing the same- this Sunday, he'll be known as "Justin SickoflosingtoCentrals"...

[Jimmy]

some good efforts, but please, sit the **** down!

[Rik E Boy]

A while ago, Geelong player Gary Hocking changed his name to "Whiskas" for one day.
Apparently, Justin Cicolella will be doing the same- this Sunday, he'll be known as "Justin SickoflosingtoCentrals"...

LMAO

[The Rooster]

last week at the 2nd semi a cop caught a wwt supporter jumping the fence the cop told him to go back & watch the rest of the game

The best by far!!

[The Rooster]

here's one that you can apply to any team.

Rockstar Ron Fuller Sneaks down to the Ponderosa.

After training Ron he Fronts Lairdy and says, "geez Roy, mate you've had the wood on us for years, why?
Roy looks at him, smiles and says to Fuller, "Well , I don't know what you think of your Lads, but my Doggies here are all highly intelligent."

"What!!! look at them, you gotta be kidding?" Says Fuller.

"i'm not joking, Rockstar", says Roy. "We now put them through a special intelligence test before they can play here. Just pick any of my players and we will see how well he does."

Fuller thinks for a while and then nominates Quinton Graham.
Roy calls him over and asks him, "Tell me Quinno, who is the child of your father and your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"Ah, that's simple Lairdie," says Quinno, "it's me".

Well done mate, hit the showers", says Roy, and Fuller is astounded.

Fuller returns to Woodville and wonders about the intelligence of some of the peanuts in his team. He calls in Colville and asks, "Gazza, tell me, who is the child of your father and your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

Colville thinks and thinks, straining his big red crainuim and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit more Ron, and I'll give you an answer tomorrow?"

"yeah, Rooster Pubes, why don't you do that!" says Choco, "you've got 24 hours. But it is very important that you come up with the answer".

Colville goes away, thinks as hard as he can, and then he calls in his teammates.

JoeyPedler thought it might be his Grandpa but wasn't sure.

Cooper admitted he was sacked from Sturt for not knowing. Skipworth also owned up to failing the test while trying to hide from his own shadow

Vincenzo Rugalo thought it would be an alcoholic uncle in Croydon, but when asked to elaborate his eyes glazed over and he began gibbering in tongues.

Paul Lindsay conceeded he couldn't read and would be no good at limericks

The rest of the team wouldn't even hazard a guess.

Mark Passador went into the foetal position.

20 hours later, Colville has been up all night and is very worried that he still has no answer with only 4 hours to go.

Eventually Colville thinks: I know, I'll ring Chris Gowans. He's clever, he'll know the answer.

He calls Chris. "Chris," he says, "who is the child of your father and your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"that's easy Blood nut, Very simple," says Chris, "it's me!"

"Oh Yeah!" says Colville and rings his coach.

"Rockstar," says Colville, " I've got the answer: it's Chris Gowans".

"No, you moron," says Fuller. " It's Quinton Graham."

[mal]

In 2004 CD rock n rolled WWT in the g/final by 100+ points.
Coach Fuller felt sorry for his players and took the players to
a pub the following Tuesday night.
A waiter recognised Fuller as he was seated with his dejected players.
WAITER: "Mr Fuller what would you like to order sir?"
FULLER : " I would like a Tee Bone steak, well done please."
WAITER :" And the vegetables?"
FULLER : " Ah, they'll order when there ready."

[eddie eagle]

A doggies fan has told me of a PRODUCT RECALL issued in October 2004 & 2005

Bendon have had to recall their recently released product. The Eagle Bra was impractical and was removed from the shelves at Westfield West Lakes

Product Fault : Too Soft, No Support and No Cups

Luckily Designers have been working on a new & improved 2006 Model.