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[locky801]

Boring SA dont get a mention this week apart from the obvious

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 8/3/2026
1. Toowoomba, QLD - Drongo electrocuted while trying to steal (worthless) live wires from power station
2. Maryborough, QLD - Gronk jailed for ramming vehicle with his kids in his car, after making 87 hoax calls to 000
3. Alice Springs, NT - Lunatic shot at by police after ramming cop car, while on parole for ram-raiding pub and dousing himself in petrol
4. Hervey Bay, QLD - Public wanking rock spider and toe amputee jailed again for harassing teen girl about feet
5. Sunset Strip, NSW - Residents find out tap water unsafe for all human use after 66 years of brushing their teeth with it
6. Kempsey, NSW - Cops find 52 weed plants, 38 snakes, 28 dogs, 19 lizards, 9 cats, 3 hedgehogs and a crocodile in alleged drug dealer’s house
7. Ballarat, VIC - 1700 pharmaceutical poppy plants stolen
8. The Plains, WA - Gronks charged after two stolen 100m² industrial sheds found on their property
9. Rockhampton, QLD - Maniac allegedly smashes 7 cop cars with sledgehammer and steals bunch of speed cameras
10. Port Pirie, SA - Still shit but no one can explain why

[locky801]

Been a changing of the guard

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 15/3/2026

1. Gladstone, QLD - Gronkess sentenced for committing armed robbery with bottle of Jack Daniel’s, after being caught with 12 bags of meth in vagina
2. Wodonga, VIC - Gronk sentenced for driving stolen car to Melbourne to buy fake penis
3. Townsville, QLD - Drongo rescued by cops after jumping into croc-infested river to escape same cops
4. Bunbury, WA - Gronkess escapes punishment for poking holes in flatmate’s condoms
5. Sydney, NSW - Drongo cops crash into front of house for second time in 2 years; tree cut down by fake council contractors; riot squad and choppers called out after teen’s party gatecrashed by 500 randos
6. Wagga Wagga, NSW - Women’s footy coach accidentally includes audio of himself ridiculing his players’ bodies on game footage and sends it to them; undies-clad creep caught on camera playing with himself in people’s driveways
7. Canberra, ACT - Gronkess steals teddy bear from Christmas shop by shoving it up her nether-regions
8. Bundaberg, QLD - Pests steal portaloo
9. Port Pirie, SA - Drongo arrested after cops find 4 giant cannabis plants as big as full-size fruit trees
10. Broken Hill, NSW - Still shit

[locky801]

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 22/3/2026

1. Grafton, NSW - Female L-plater arrested after allegedly shooting at cops
2. Melbourne, VIC - Pervert escapes punishment for filming women in toilet stalls
3. Quorn, SA - Deadshits steal dozens of memorial plaques from cemetery
4. Hobart, TAS - Gronk holding bag over head blindly bumps into counters while robbing pharmacy; psycho armed with syringe holds up Nando’s
5. Gold Coast, QLD - Priest done for high-range drink-driving after citizen’s arrest; woman cops $4000 worth of fines for international student passenger not wearing seatbelt
6. Coolamon, NSW - Public pool closed for season after being contaminated by effluent water
7. Bendigo, VIC - Pest caught wanking near school gym, claims in court he just needed to piss
8. Rockingham, WA - Drongo fugitive surrenders after being chased by random dog and mistaking it for police dog
9. Mareeba, QLD - Govt tells Pastafarian to retake driver’s licence photo after he wore colander in first one
10. Port Pirie, SA - Still shit