Titus O'Reily - AFL topics

[Corona Man]

The latest offering from Titus on Etihad Stadium:

The AFL Commission has revealed it is currently considering a detailed proposal to turn Etihad Stadium into a sporting stadium.

Completed in 2000 at a cost of $460 million, Etihad Stadium was designed to upset sporting fans and injure athletes. It has been highly successful in both these pursuits.

The AFL, which assumes ownership of the ground in 2025, is reportedly intrigued about the possibility of the stadium hosting sporting events.

“Successfully holding AFL games at Etihad Stadium would give us a lot of flexibility, so is pretty appealing,” said AFL Chairman Mike Fitzpatrick.

“But the stadium hasn’t been designed for sport, so a lot of changes are required to get it anywhere near ready.

Under the proposal before the Commission, radical changes are suggested to enable the Stadium to host sporting events. The recommended changes include:
•A playing surface to be installed, replacing the green concrete in the middle of the facility with some sort of grass
•The playing surface to not be the hardest surface known to man
•Ticketing facilities to be installed to enable fans to purchase tickets in a timely manner
•Removal of purpose built synthetic turf death traps
•Outlets selling food priced somewhere in the vicinity of where food is priced in the rest of the world
•Putting something in place to stop the sun blinding everyone in the stadium on a regular basis, like a roof or similar
•Beer that tastes like beer
•Stadium management who don’t see fans and players as impediments to running their business

Etihad Stadium management labelled the proposal ‘far-fetched’ and said hosting sporting events ‘has never been and is not part of our business plan going forward’.

“Occasionally we get people turning up wanting to come in and we have to pretend no one is home until they go away,” said Etihad Stadium chairman Tony Hallam.

“Frankly, I couldn’t think of anything worse than catering to fans and worrying about player safety. It sounds exhausting.”

[Booney]

The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Finals Week Three
Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Geelong (60) v Sydney (97)

So both the NRL and AFL Grand Finals are set. I was nervous Hawthorn were going to sneak into the NRL one. It appears we may be safe.

Geelong wasn’t safe, though. Not from the opening salvo that Sydney launched at them in the opening quarter.

Cats fans must have wondered if their team had accidentally gone to Simonds Stadium in the first quarter. They certainly weren’t at the MCG.

The Swans showed what an entire team applying pressure could do to a side that is waiting around for a few to do all the work.

At least that’s what it seemed like, as according to the commentators, only Joel Selwood and Patrick Dangerfield were out there and that included Swans players.

The constant praise for them was pretty amusing as the entire Sydney Swans side put the Cats to the sword.

Sure, Dangerfield, for example, racked up the possessions, but a lot of them were as ineffective as Travis Cloke in a legal glove.

Although at least Selwood and Dangerfield were trying. It was like watching a bunch of council workers. Two guys working hard while the rest stand around watching.

The Swans got so far ahead in the first quarter that if you listened quietly, you could hear the ‘shut the academies’ opinion pieces being written.

A lot was made of the fact the Cats haven’t played a lot recently due to the pre-finals bye and going straight through to the Preliminary Final. The idea being they were a bit rusty.

That could only be true if they spent those weeks off in a real life version of The Hangover. The Cats were so terrible that no bye could have been solely responsible.

It makes you wonder who will the Cats need to get from Adelaide to go to the next level?

For Swans fans, it’s back down to Melbourne with the sole aim of crushing the dreams of Bulldogs fans.

The Swans know if they can bring that sort of pressure for the third week in a row they’ve got every chance.

There’s a reason they finished top of the ladder this season.



Greater Western Sydney (83) v Western Bulldogs (89)

This was the best Preliminary Final at Spotless Stadium ever. Easily.

It’s possible this game alone converted tens of people from Western Sydney to the code.

It was simply a classic and not like when someone shows a cat video at work, and some idiot from Sales says ‘classic.’

This was the real thing.

It had everything. Easton Wood’s mark, constant lead changes, commentators diagnosing injuries with less accuracy than Dr Google.

Early on, the Bulldogs seemed like they could run away with it, if only they could convert, which they couldn’t.

The Giants, mainly counterpunching in the first quarter, managed to hang in there. In fact, it seemed as we rolled into the third quarter, that the Bulldogs were fading.

It appeared that week off that helped Geelong so much was benefitting the Giants. Not only did the Giants look fresher, but they were also a lot cleaner with the ball.

At this point, every Bulldogs fan knew this was trending the way things always trend for them, towards the rocks.

But this Bulldogs side doesn’t give up. They have more gears than a prime mover. Late in the fourth, they found a few more of them.

They need to, as the final five minutes were as tense as a family Christmas lunch.

Even after prolific goal kicker, Jack Macrae booted a crucial goal; it still seemed the Giants could come back.

But a miss by Devon Smith and the Doggies managing to get it forward meant the final siren was the sweetest sound a Bulldogs fan has ever heard.

The moment the Giants lost, I was sure the AFL would announce this would be best of three, but common sense prevailed.

Of course, the AFL didn’t really want the Giants to win this. It would have been a nightmare for them.

They want them to be competitive but killing the hopes and dreams of an insanely loyal fan base who haven’t even been to a Grand Final since 1961 would have been disastrous.

Giants fans will instead have to wait one more season before that run of ten premierships in a row gets started. Stay strong orange people.

Bulldogs fans aren’t really conditioned for this much happiness.

The problem now is teaching Bulldogs fans how to deal with so much joy all at once, especially with a win in the VFL Grand Final too.

It’s like releasing an animal raised in captivity back into the wild; it lacks the skills to deal with its new environment.

Suddenly, the dam that was holding back all success seems to have several cracks in it and could ultimately break this Saturday.

If it does, Bulldogs fans need to remember what Willy Wonka said.

“Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted.”

“He lived happily ever after.”

[valleys07]

The moment the Giants lost, I was sure the AFL would announce this would be best of three, but common sense prevailed.

[Booney]

The problem now is teaching Bulldogs fans how to deal with so much joy all at once, especially with a win in the VFL Grand Final too.

It’s like releasing an animal raised in captivity back into the wild; it lacks the skills to deal with its new environment.

[valleys07]

Some great material amongst it, that is for sure.

[woodublieve12]

The problem now is teaching Bulldogs fans how to deal with so much joy all at once, especially with a win in the VFL Grand Final too.

It’s like releasing an animal raised in captivity back into the wild; it lacks the skills to deal with its new environment.

until I saw your comment I was going to highlight that

[valleys07]

How I have missed this!

Discussing the Suns/Brisbane game: "but the Gold Coast have such a poor history with injuries that I'm surprised Collingwood didn't offer them a 3 year, $1.8 million deal in the off season"



Discussing the Adelaide/GWS game: “As well as possessing dangerous forwards, a great backline and an alarmingly good midfield, they have better lies than everyone else. Yes, Stevie J told everyone that he broke his hand reaching for a phone in a bag, and unlike De Goey, everyone just smiled knowingly and moved on.”

[am Bays]

How I have missed this!

Discussing the Suns/Brisbane game: "but the Gold Coast have such a poor history with injuries that I'm surprised Collingwood didn't offer them a 3 year, $1.8 million deal in the off season"



Discussing the Adelaide/GWS game: “As well as possessing dangerous forwards, a great backline and an alarmingly good midfield, they have better lies than everyone else. Yes, Stevie J told everyone that he broke his hand reaching for a phone in a bag, and unlike De Goey, everyone just smiled knowingly and moved on.”

The follow up statement was gold too:

Johnson knew that for a lie to be believable, it should be so silly that people just can’t believe you would make it up. That’s the veteran smarts he brings to this team.

[Spargo]

Two beauties from his Monday wrap:
Discussing the four different types of salt apparently on offer at AFL grounds... "When I was a kid, the most we got at the footy was Dad's leftover UDL to warm us up"

Then he took aim at someone else... "Gary Lyon questioned Erin Phillips bringing her kids on the ground after the match as it could have been unsafe. Better listen, Erin. Gary's advice on family is always worth listening to."

[am Bays]

My favourites:

Why boo him now when he can only hurt them once a year? Surely that’s a massive improvement for them?

Mike Sheahan blamed the booing on Collingwood’s ‘bogan element’. What’s Mike on about? That suggests Collingwood have a non-bogan element.

Kennedy is an interesting key forward in that he can accurately kick goals from a variety of angles. Imagine if other forwards could do that? Not that I’m looking at anyone Jarrad Waite with your solitary goal and seven behinds.

If both Sydney and GWS are bad this year, who is Eddie going to blame when Collingwood miss the Finals? It’s a tough one, but if Adelaide play well, he can always go after them.

Given the win in the women’s AFL Grand Final, this was the best weekend for Crows supporters since Maggie Beer launch her ice cream range.

- See more at: https://titusoreily.com/afl/monday-knee ... sHtlK.dpuf

[Zorro]

I didn't mind this one either about the Hawks loss:

After the game is when I'm told Ty Vickery stepped up. He pointed out that this was but the first loss of many and they needed to starting preparing immediately for their next loss. After his speech, Luke Hodge asked to have his suspension extended.

[valleys07]

Two beauties from his Monday wrap:
Discussing the four different types of salt apparently on offer at AFL grounds... "When I was a kid, the most we got at the footy was Dad's leftover UDL to warm us up"

Then he took aim at someone else... "Gary Lyon questioned Erin Phillips bringing her kids on the ground after the match as it could have been unsafe. Better listen, Erin. Gary's advice on family is always worth listening to."

I too, had a good chuckle at the Garry Lyon reference.

[bennymacca]

The Crows were embarrassed last round and Don Pyke has been weirdly staring at them all week. I’ve heard he’s often just stood outside players homes staring at them watching TV through the window.

“You want to come in Don? No? You’ve been there an hour. OK. This is weird now Don. My girlfriend has called the police. Don, she really has, you’d better go. Don, I didn’t even play last week, I’m injured remember? Here are the police Don. Answer them Don, don’t stare at them.”

[Booney]

He was using his mindfulness.




MIND

FUL

NESS

[JK]

:D

The Crows were embarrassed last round and Don Pyke has been weirdly staring at them all week. I’ve heard he’s often just stood outside players homes staring at them watching TV through the window.

“You want to come in Don? No? You’ve been there an hour. OK. This is weird now Don. My girlfriend has called the police. Don, she really has, you’d better go. Don, I didn’t even play last week, I’m injured remember? Here are the police Don. Answer them Don, don’t stare at them.”