SA Footy

best ive heard from an u16 youve had more missus than hugh hefner GOLD

An overweight umpire got told to take the hamburger out of his ear so he could hear the obvious nick, it was pretty funny at the time.

An oldy but still the best i heard was the Eddo Brandes reply to a young Glen McGrath who asked Eddo why he was so fat, with Eddo replying "Because every time I #&$!@ your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

This one by Ian Healy was good, to Arjuna Ranatunga during a one day game after he asked for a runner. "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat #$&!%."

A young Mark Howard comment to a senior opposition captain.
"I'll treat your missus like a bowling ball, stick 3 fingers in her then throw her in the gutter"
Funniest thing ive ever heard on the field

there are some classics on video on cricketcrowd.com

Zimbawean allrounder who's name slips me arrives at the crease in a test match against Australia...

Mark Waugh from 2nd slip toots off " mate, what the hell are you doing out here playing test cricket. You are a shit batsmen and you can't bowl "

To which the instant reply was " Can't argue with that Mark, but at least I am the best player in my family "

tazz wrote:A young Mark Howard comment to a senior opposition captain.
"I'll treat your missus like a bowling ball, stick 3 fingers in her then throw her in the gutter"
Funniest thing ive ever heard on the field

is this same wayward cannon that was suspended in the ATCA two or so seasons ago???

Was playing in a game, when a batsman kept playing and missing, a team mate then yelled " this guy couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat "

The lads in the junior comp I coach in use "This bat is like a doughnut, all edges and no middle..."

interested observer wrote:Zimbawean allrounder who's name slips me arrives at the crease in a test match against Australia...

Mark Waugh from 2nd slip toots off " mate, what the hell are you doing out here playing test cricket. You are a s***t batsmen and you can't bowl "

To which the instant reply was " Can't argue with that Mark, but at least I am the best player in my family "

Wasn't that comment by a Pom!?? Robert Key, or Crawley or someone like that. A cracker none the less.... One of my favourites!!

tazz wrote:A young Mark Howard comment to a senior opposition captain.
"I'll treat your missus like a bowling ball, stick 3 fingers in her then throw her in the gutter"
Funniest thing ive ever heard on the field

Wasn't he cleaned bowled the very next ball? I think what made it so funny was that Mark was only 15 or 16 at the time

One is
He is shaking like a tickle me elmo
Swinging like a rusty gate
Seen more blocks in a lego factory
Swinging like the toilet door on curry night

The best one i have heard lately was when Compass played Mclaren Vale and one of the Vale lads said this guy is swinging like a rusty gate the batsmen turned and said<as vale are full of greeks>...come over here then so i can run my fingers through your hair to put some oil on the gate

Was playing a game against some Kiwi's when a mate kept playing and missing, the bowler comes down the pitch and says 'there's a piece of shit on the end of ur bat'. My mate looks at the toe of the bat when the bowler replies 'nah, the other end'.
Was incredibly funny.

Mr_Willy wrote:

interested observer wrote:Zimbawean allrounder who's name slips me arrives at the crease in a test match against Australia...

Mark Waugh from 2nd slip toots off " mate, what the hell are you doing out here playing test cricket. You are a s***t batsmen and you can't bowl "

To which the instant reply was " Can't argue with that Mark, but at least I am the best player in my family "

Wasn't that comment by a Pom!?? Robert Key, or Crawley or someone like that. A cracker none the less.... One of my favourites!!

You could be right MW..
Agree though, one of the best...

Has copped a couple of returns serves Mark Waugh..
Was it Adam Parore ( NZ ) that responded to another Mark Waugh serve of " Here he is, this is the same bloke that couldn't f**cking play last series and here he is again!!"
To which Parore replied " Yeh that's me. And aren't you the one that was going out with that fat old s*ut last time we were here and now I am told you married her.."

interested observer wrote:

Mr_Willy wrote:

interested observer wrote:Zimbawean allrounder who's name slips me arrives at the crease in a test match against Australia...

Mark Waugh from 2nd slip toots off " mate, what the hell are you doing out here playing test cricket. You are a s***t batsmen and you can't bowl "

To which the instant reply was " Can't argue with that Mark, but at least I am the best player in my family "

Wasn't that comment by a Pom!?? Robert Key, or Crawley or someone like that. A cracker none the less.... One of my favourites!!

You could be right MW..
Agree though, one of the best...

Has copped a couple of returns serves Mark Waugh..
Was it Adam Parore ( NZ ) that responded to another Mark Waugh serve of " Here he is, this is the same bloke that couldn't f**cking play last series and here he is again!!"
To which Parore replied " Yeh that's me. And aren't you the one that was going out with that fat old s*ut last time we were here and now I am told you married her.."

That's is, that was a cracker as well....


Who could forget, whether it was true or not. S Waugh to H Gibbs - "You just dropped the World Cup....."

Bowler abuses batsman.

Reply: "Sorry mate, what was that? I didn't get taught to speak dickhead at school."

Apoplexy followed.

seen better batters in a fish and chip shop send him down a piano and see if he can play that merv hughes to sir viv its the red ball with white stitches after he had played and missed viv smashed it out of the ground you no what it looks like go fetch

DILLIGAF wrote:seen better batters in a fish and chip shop send him down a piano and see if he can play that merv hughes to sir viv its the red ball with white stitches after he had played and missed viv smashed it out of the ground you no what it looks like go fetch

That Viv Richards one is a beauty, funny as!!

I havent seen a bigger slapper since i picked your mother up in Hindley st.