Dear Ms Gillard .................

[Ian]

Dear Ms Gillard,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:


1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ......and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!


P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

[Ian]

Also:

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV, radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

[Q.]

Dear Miss Gillard

Please stop spam emails making their way onto SAFooty.net.

[redandblack]

Unfortunately, 10,000,000 people at $1,000,000 each is $10,000,000,000,000.

I think this is $10,000 billion dollars.

If so, that is about 3 times the total yearly Government revenue

I'm with you, Q, spam emails are just that - spam.

PS: 10 million workers over 50 in a population of 22 million???

I think the original email said 2 million

[Psyber]

....I think the original email said 2 million

Well, there you go, it is affordable then.
I'm happy to comply with the conditions - I'm only a bit worried about having to buy an Australian car...

[tipper]

nothing says how long you have to own it, of even if you have to drive it Psyber.

you could give it to me.....

[redandblack]

....I think the original email said 2 million

Well, there you go, it is affordable then.
I'm happy to comply with the conditions - I'm only a bit worried about having to buy an Australian car...

Not quite, mate. Given that even 2 million would nearly wipe out the total governemnt income for a year, they'd have to raise taxes enormously, and/or else close the hospitals, defence force, all government benefits, etc, etc.

Send it to Joe Hockey, though, he might be interested