Best bit of sledging you have heard either on/or off the fie

[silicone skyline]

Glenn McGrath v Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball.

McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"

Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

[Santos L Helper]

Glenn McGrath v Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball.

McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"

Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

Meh! Every year this one has two different players talking this up. Originally it was Warne and Cullinan.

[Dogwatcher]

Nah it doesn't I'm pretty certain it was always McGrath and Brandes.

Cullinan's was more along the lines of:

Warne: "I've been waiting for four years to have another crack at you."

Cullinan: "It looks like you spent most of it eating."

[Santos L Helper]

Nah it doesn't I'm pretty certain it was always McGrath and Brandes.

Cullinan's was more along the lines of:

Warne: "I've been waiting for four years to have another crack at you."

Cullinan: "It looks like you spent most of it eating."

I've even heard a version where Mark Waugh was involved. Now, why anyone would hint that they have had a crack at his ex has me completely stupified.

[Zelezny Chucks]

it did always amaze me that a man so obviously blind could play international cricket! I'm sure he woulda preferred to spoon with Boony on tour than go home to his husband! sorry i mean wife!

[LaughingKookaburra]

I know it is cricket,but this warrants mentioning.
During the 2001 Ashes series in England English batsman Jimmy Ormond walks out to the crease with England once again in strife.He goes to mark his crease and hears no other than Mark Waugh from the slips column blurting "Mate,what are you doing out here?? There is no way you're good enough to play for England".Ormond replies "Maybe not,but at least I am the best player in my family........". Well and truely 'served' in my book...........

[am Bays]

Five years ago in Darwin we chnaged from the traditional white umpiring uniforms to the WAFL grey uniform (grey shorts, shirt and black socks). Shocking uniform. The changed was made becasue of the "abuse" we used to get dressed in white - "white maggot" puh-lease gee if thats the worse the supporters and players can do and you get offended by that give up.

Any way the upshot was our umpiring committee was convinced that a change in uniform colour was going to lead to a decrease in umpiring abuse, more recruits, cures cancer ya da ya da ya da....

10 mins into the first game of the year some wag from the crowd has called out to our Umpires Coach when he was umpiring:

"Schmidt, last year you were nothing but a cheating white maggot, this year you're a dirty cheating white maggot!!"

All the umpires, including the coach p!ssed themselves laughing....

[silicone skyline]

Lol. We changed to a delightful orange last year.
No colour jokes, just "You're a f...ing wanker!"

[Diddy]

A couple of good ones while watching Kangarilla play Kersbrook (who have the James brothers) on the weekend.

To Brett James: "Matt Connell has two"

To Paul James: "If you were a Bee Gee, you'd be the dead one"

[The Rooster]

To Paul James: "If you were a Bee Gee, you'd be the dead one"

Thats Gold!!

There was young Hamley Bridge bloke who decided to give him self a severe undercut for this weekends game, instantly memories of Donald Dickie's pitiful Ansett cup hair dressing effort of 1999 came flooding back.

About halfway through the last quarter, some larrikan was heard to to say "hope you didn't pay for that haircut"
then followed by another;
"He did but he couldn't afford to get it all cut off, he's got the rest on lay-by and has to go back next week to get the rest!"

The lad will probably tidy things up after that i would assume.

[LaughingKookaburra]

ROD MARSH & IAN BOTHAM

When Botham took guard in an Ashes Test Match , Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words : "So hows the wife and my kids?"
Botham replied
"My wifes fine but the kids are retarded"

LMAO

[johntheclaret]

I dunno about sledging, but once in a match played in the aboriginal mission, a tiny dog ran out on to the field and squatted directly between the man on the mark and the guy kicking for goal.
He then proceeded to take the biggest dump ever.
Fair to say he missed the goal.

Who the man on the mark or the one kicking for goal


Are you sure it wasn't played at Unley

[offtherails]

this cracker happened a few years before i played in the under 17's in port lincoln. The mother of one of our team members was on the boundry watching her son play, when one of the opposition team members came through and tried to take him out. this particular mother obviously didn't improve and proceeded to yell at the other player , letting him know that that was her son and he better leave him alone. the offending player then retaliated by turning around and telling her to shut her mouth otherwise he'd break into their house again.

[Hazbeen]

Mate of mine who is affectionally known as "Tubs" and wears no. 60 was asked by a kid in B's when lining up for goal if 60 was his age or the number of fat rolls under his jumper.

[shobtop1]

Last year when the opposition was lining up for goal my teamate who was standing the mark said

"Hey mate, do you breathe in or out when you kick it?"

Was a bit random, but he missed anyhow haha

[Ron Burgundy]

i was once playing footy witha poster on here, well call him BD, and he showed his class with one particular sledge.

There was a bit of a scrap on a half forward flank and BD got in one or two sly little face slaps. The umpire reports Barry on the spot. And fair enough too.

After the game the umpire comes into the rooms and approaches BD with the question, what are you doing on Wednesday night? (suggesting a tribunal hearing). And as quick as a flash BD replies.....


F**KIN YOUR WIFE!!!


Believe it or not the umpire withdrew the charge. ha ha

[Baron Greenback]

Haha. I don't remember that! Was that against Loxton North?

[Baron Greenback]

Actually now I do.
It was Lynchy wasn't it?

[Ron Burgundy]

yep the man who always forgot his umpiring tooth

[Dogwatcher]

and his truck driving tooth!