by floaterhead » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:06 pm
CROWMUNCHER CENTRAL - MATCH REPORT
PRE-GAME
As we set up camp at centre wing for the day at park 21 south of the city, we could see the bulldogs fan base had turned out in numbers... There was the old man on the opposite side of the oval (often seen cheering at bulldogs training) with Jack Daniels in hand who was in fine form by self admission and then the extensive bench with injured player taking over the positional changes board...We had a Dale Thomas look alike lining up for united and Phil Waugh (or Randy from My Name is Earl, depending on how far you were standing away) crossing over from union to stand at center half forward. It was going to be big....
As the Siren clerks/trainer/assistant coach/coach/captain/player prepared to blow the siren, Muncher made his way down to the full back line where he remained for the rest of the day which was disappointing to the supporters as it meant there was no impact made in the goals and behind column .. As he looked around in anticipation, he looked excited, comfortable and almost fit in his Lycra uniform...(hadn't realized that they had brought the bodysuit to football)...It was clear there was a little bit of a mismatch as his direct opponent was 4 foot 3 and twice Muncher's width.
THE GAME
He got an early touch as he left the goal line (one of a few times for the day) for an easy chest mark and delivered the ball perfectly to the flank to pick up his first disposal of the day. soon after muncher proved why we had added a punches column as he had two swings in close succession, failing to connect with the ball..third time lucky and he pulled out the big "double fister" over the pack with a strong defensive play. With the muncher looking as fit as Robert Harvey it was clear that he was just as much an inspiration to his own team with a series of hard tackling efforts, followed by another that was a little bit soft. The quarter was nearly to a close as the muncher spoiled the ball before running into the point post. He looked like a "hungry gorilla running into a banana tree". As the Dogs kicked the last major of the term it was clear to see we were truly dealing with a team man as he yelled his support from the opposite end of the ground ( he was awarded one positive play point for his actions).
QUARTER TIME HUDDLE - The high stakes of this game were obvious, as the united boys gathered round to listen to the coach it was clear to see they wanted to be in PEAKE conditioning as they passed around a 2LT coke bottle to rehydrate.
Q1 MUNCHER STATS - 2 KICKS 1 HBALL 3 TACKLES
QUARTER 1 - THE DOGS - 5.3 CENTRAL UNITED- 0.1
The second quarter started with a flurry of influential plays as muncher continued to sit on the goal line, with a telling mark and then a 45 mt stab to center wing, a long clearance, a soccer from danger followed by abuse to cause a point from Uniteds beloved rookie Dale Thomas (poor kid, he was only about 14, muncher later felt a bit bad for abusing a minor). At this point Muncher pushes upfield to create Paggons Paddock...Later returning to the goal square for his first kick out of the day ( 2 of three kickouts for the day went to the opposition). United made a push with their forward flanker kicking from 25-30 out, the muncher jumped up a would be goal as he fumbled the ball from his chest through for a cleverly disguised rushed behind. Phil Waugh (or Randy from My Name is Earl, depending on how far you were standing away) takes a telling mark and puts the ball through for an important steadying behind...18 minutes into the quarter and the opposition now has a bench as a car load of players arrive. The muncher manages to fit in another nice mark with a 50 metre kick that hits his team mate on the tit before the half ends.
HALF TIME NOTES - Munchers opponent on phone dealing drugs at half time, looking forward to muncher giving him a football lesson in the 2nd Half. May need Ryder-Courtney to drive the train for him. Upon visitation in the room the witness noted that muncher had his legs spread, lying on the ground with feet up in the air and was looking like a $2 hooker who had just had her tenth customer for the night!
Q2 MUNCHER STATS - 6 KICKS 1 HBALL 3 MARKS 3 TACKLES
QUARTER 2 - THE DOGS - 8.5 CENTRAL UNITED- 3.4
Quarter number three gets under way two big pack punches, comment made that it would be nice to see the muncher use his strong marking attributes from time to time rather then just punching... takes his tally to five...Muncher beginning to control this back line or at least the goal line as he again takes a mark on the line. Coach has made a quick positional change at half time and swapped muncher at full back with schwarzer at goalkeeper. Hands go to his head very quickly at current stage, looks to be struggling a little bit out there... hands are now on knees, finding it hard to breathe, has done big miles today from goal post to goal post, even rob Harvey struggles sometimes... Further proof that the muncher has been watching too much soccer as the ball goes through for a united goal, the muncher acts quickly and forces himself forward appealing for the free. A pivitol contest as the umpire proves he has been watching too much soccer and awards the muncher the free. Saving the certain goal. the munchers brilliant acting not only saves the goal but creates A bulldog goal of their own. A direct result of the munchers leg. Muncher closes the quarter out with another punch and a clearing kick
QUARTER 3 - THE DOGS - 10.8 CENTRAL UNITED- 8.7
A Quiet quarter for the muncher as united forge a comeback and draw the scores level with a 13 year old taking over the game, kicking two quick goals with one being over the munchers head. The dogs regain control getting one back with the muncher running one hundred metres to get in amongst his team mates. This for us on the panel was a key moment in the game and the thing that really spurred his team on. MUNCHER FOR CAPTAIN!!! The sort of things that dreams are made of....
A guy gets punched on the line and the dogs get another kick... putting the first nail into the central coffin. The dogs have got this one by the balls as there team mate/goal umpire calls a clear point a goal. Don't think its over for muncher though as he again takes a good defensive mark, busts through three opponents showing an impressive burst of speed and clears long to a man at middle wing with his play of the day!... That will do muncher, that will do!
Q4 MUNCHER STATS - 10 KICKS 1 HBALL 5 MARKS 3 TACKLES
QUARTER 4 - WHO CARES, MUNCHERS TEAM GOT UP!!!
SUMMARY
The build up to this game was massive, the pressure on our main man crowmuncher was massive and some how he pulled together the result that was needed...
The old crowmuncher came to play on the weekend....somehow?.... pulling in a second best on ground performance...rumor has it he had the words "passion" written on one arm and " get the ball and kick" written on the other as a form of motivation for the day.
