Titus on cricket

[Booney]

Channel Nine issues pre-emptive apology for summer commentary
Channel Nine management have taken the extraordinary step of apologising to all Australians ahead of another summer of cricket commentary.

“After last season, we thought that asking the guys to inject more of their personalities into the game was a terrible mistake,” said a Channel Nine spokesperson.

“Unfortunately, you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, so we’ve decided we needed to apologise in advance for the banality and countless cringe-worthy moments we are about to unleash on our viewers.”

Viewers said they welcomed the apology but would prefer a more holistic solution along the lines of ‘competent commentators.’

“Saying sorry is nice and all but I still have to listen to this nonsense,” said Barry Jenkins, 84, a lifelong cricket fan.

“What happened to the days of Richie and the crew? Those days seem so far gone now.

“A TV can only take so many VB cans being thrown at it before it breaks. Especially these new thin ones they build in China.”

Jessica Clements, nine, said she was a new cricket fan and thought the commentary reminded her of Anthony, her drunk and spectacularly hopeless uncle.

“Anthony says inane things a lot and his jokes are both obvious and belong in the 1950s, he’d fit right in,” she said.

“The difference is Anthony isn’t on television and being paid a lot to espouse what is ultimately garbage. That said, I’m only nine so what would I know?”

Cricket Australia said they supported Channel Nine’s pre-emptive apology but thought calls for better commentators were unhelpful.

“All the guys on Nine’s commentary team are just wonderful blokes. Heals, Tubby, Slats and that English guy are just terrific fellas,” said Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland.

“You couldn’t find a better bunch of guys to go out for a night on the tiles with.”

“If we started firing ripping blokes like them, just because they were incompetent, it would have bigger effects than just cricket commentary. Corporate Australia would collapse entirely and we’d have competent women everywhere.”

When asked to comment on being apologised for in advance, Mark Taylor reminded everyone to buy an air conditioner, while he furiously plucked a mandolin.

[Booney]

And hows this for good news to follow on!



CHANNEL 9 has announced divisive commentator James Brayshaw will not continue with the iconic commentary team this summer of cricket.
The Nine Network has announced its cricket broadcast schedule for this summer and confirmed former Aussie Test captain Michael Clarke and former English rival Kevin Pietersen have been added to the commentary team.

Brayshaw was nowhere to be mentioned anywhere in the announcement.

It is understood the former South Australian Sheffield Shield batsman chose not to be involved in the cricket coverage this summer and may return to the broadcast box in the future.

Brayshaw’s decision to walk away comes after former Test players Brett Lee and Mike Hussey also parted ways with Channel 9.

Mark Nicholas will again be the centre piece of the Channel 9 commentary team with Mark Taylor, Shane Warne, Ian Chappell, Michael Slater, Ian Healy, Clarke and Pietersen to step up to the microphone.

The announcement also follows speculation Nine was considering adding a strong female voice to the team — as the broadcaster has done with Yvonne Sampson and Erin Molan in its rugby league coverage.

The negotiations have been described as “difficult” with some reports indicating the former North Melbourne chairman has even reached out to Channel 7 regarding a move to the rival broadcaster’s AFL commentary team.

Brayshaw’s decision not to be involved with Nine this summer could spell the end of his hosting job on The Footy Show.
The AFL panel show has stumbled from one scandal to the next in recent years.

Brayshaw has been credited by some for stabilising the show following the turbulent scandals involving Gary Lyon and Billy Brownless.

Fellow panel members Dave Hughes, Brownless and Shane Crawford are all in contract negotiations with Channel 9. Co-host Rebecca Maddern is in the first year of a three-year contract.

Nine will be screening the three Test series between Australia and South Africa, beginning Thursday, November 3, as well as the three-Test series against Pakistan, beginning December 15.

Nine also has the rights to Australia’s One Day International Series against New Zealand and the Twenty20 International series with Sri Lanka.
Brayshaw’s decision was met with a mixed reaction from fans.

[bennymacca]

Awesome, Bradshaw was the worst. KP was great to listen to in the t20 stuff.