by therisingblues » Sat May 13, 2006 3:13 am
Those that haven't read the book, please avoid the following, as I have undertaken to describe the salient points and ending for PAFC1870:
An expert in iconology follows some clues left to him by a recently extinct cult claiming to protect the truth about Christ from the Roman Catholic Church. Hot on his heels as he dashes from task to task is the Parisian Police, curators of well known sights across Europe and a strange beast with sharpened teeth and scales down his back, these are all being manipulated by the Roman Catholic Church in their quest to cover up their rotten secret that Christ never turned water into wine as it is alleged but actually turned it into vinegar to flavour all the fish that he produced, and the Priests of the Roman Catholic Church have sworn to protect their one indulgence allowed to them by their Church by continuing the facade that it is the Blood of Christ they are drinking. As the hero of the story (name-"Pippin" played by Hanks) gets closer to the truth he is suddenly taken prisoner by a family of Mormons, whose actual purpose was to save him from the strange beast with scales down his back, they unfortunately had to knock Pippin out as he struggled so much. It was for his own good! Unfortunately, one of the Mormons let it be known that the entire family was allergic to chocolate, just before they knocked Pippin out, with the result that when Pippin came to, he consumed all of his emergency chocolate supplies and urinated in a pot of tea which he then offered to the Mormons to drink. It wasn't until after they each had drunk a little and were well into their death throes did they inform Pippin that they had in fact saved his life from the strange beast with sharpened teeth and scales down his back. On hearing this, Pippin is filled with rage and remorse for his actions and decides once and for all to confront the strange beast, which he does in the dramatic finale, marked by a cameo appearance from the KGB, who in a twist of fate actually kill each other in a sudden cross fire. Pippin manages to tear all the sharp teeth out of the strange beast's mouth, then teaches him to eat soup the rest of his life, because he doesn't want him to starve to death. But as he turns his back the strange beast puts Pippin through a blender and drinks him, inadvertantly making him a thousand times more powerful. To some people Pippin is a dream, to others, a nightmare! Pippin begins his dark revenge against the Catholic Church by publishing its secrets on the front page of the New York Times and the Priests of the Catholic Church must forever after drink vinegar at the altar.
Quite a good book really, sorry I hope I haven't spoiled the ending for you.
I'm gonna sit back, crack the top off a Pale Ale, and watch the Double Blues prevail
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