Things that make you laugh

[A Mum]

A Dad makes me laugh !!

A Dad "How old you going to be on your birthday?"
A Mum "42"
Pause
A Mum "Wish I was 22"
A Dad "So do I"

Smarty pants..lol

[Psyber]

It may be an old one but I hadn't met this story until a friend sent it to me in the last few days.

An allegedly true story from Mount Isa.

Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then he flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights

He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser showed no evidence of the man's intoxication.
The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"

[mighty_tiger_79]

well you cant help but laugh at Glenelgs game today

[Booney]

"Outductions" - When talking about how Port are or have handled Chad and Kane Cornes, Tom Harley said :

"Good clubs handle the induction of young players well, really good clubs also handle the outduction of older players well."

Cometti - " Outductions? "

Harley, completely clueless - "Yep, outductions".

[Psyber]

I guess if you can lead someone in you can lead someone out, but the root of the verb would not be "out"..

Duco (Latin) I lead, induco I lead in, deduco I lead down (deduction), produco I lead to or for (production).
By extension we could include exduco or educo to lead out - the root of education.
But I guess in this situation the right word - also from a Latin root - is ejection - to throw out.

[Bum Crack]

I guess if you can lead someone in you can lead someone out, but the root of the verb would not be "out"..

Duco (Latin) I lead, induco I lead in, deduco I lead down (deduction), produco I lead to or for (production).
By extension we could include exduco or educo to lead out - the root of education.
But I guess in this situation the right word - also from a Latin root - is ejection - to throw out.

[Booney]

I guess if you can lead someone in you can lead someone out, but the root of the verb would not be "out"..

Duco (Latin) I lead, induco I lead in, deduco I lead down (deduction), produco I lead to or for (production).
By extension we could include exduco or educo to lead out - the root of education.
But I guess in this situation the right word - also from a Latin root - is ejection - to throw out.

Or exit, or outgoing, or retirement or any other word that actually exists.

[Gingernuts]

I guess if you can lead someone in you can lead someone out, but the root of the verb would not be "out"..

Duco (Latin) I lead, induco I lead in, deduco I lead down (deduction), produco I lead to or for (production).
By extension we could include exduco or educo to lead out - the root of education.
But I guess in this situation the right word - also from a Latin root - is ejection - to throw out.

Don't get many Latin roots in Riverland BC?

[Booney]

felicis impetro a radix procul totus

[Drop Bear]

I guess if you can lead someone in you can lead someone out, but the root of the verb would not be "out"..

Duco (Latin) I lead, induco I lead in, deduco I lead down (deduction), produco I lead to or for (production).
By extension we could include exduco or educo to lead out - the root of education.
But I guess in this situation the right word - also from a Latin root - is ejection - to throw out.

Don't get many Latin roots in Riverland BC?

just local roots.

[dedja]

there's a job I can handle

how do you get on the payroll of the checking team?

[Magpiespower]

Australians Against Vulgarity

[Phantom Gossiper]

Going into a vietnamese restaurant and being served by indians

[Magpiespower]

Going into a vietnamese restaurant and being served by indians

Once went to a Mexican restaurant owned by Vietnamese.

Tasted like an Old El Paso kit from Woolies.

Gypped.

[Rik E Boy]

"Outductions" - When talking about how Port are or have handled Chad and Kane Cornes, Tom Harley said :

"Good clubs handle the induction of young players well, really good clubs also handle the outduction of older players well."

Cometti - " Outductions? "

Harley, completely clueless - "Yep, outductions".

Nah. Clueless would be kicking Harley out of your club after one game so he could go on and captain two premierships somewhere else. Thanks Choco!

regards,

REB

[Rik E Boy]

A Dad makes me laugh !!

A Dad "How old you going to be on your birthday?"
A Mum "42"
Pause
A Mum "Wish I was 22"
A Dad "So do I"

Smarty pants..lol

BWAHAHAHAHA. BTW Mum you're just a youngster on this forum, average age 57!

regards,

REB

[Ron Burgundy]

That explains alot...

[Q.]

Facepalm moments.

[Pseudo]

Took the daughter to the new-fangled SA Aquatic centre this morning. She ran off into the water with a friend while I buried my head in a book.

Close to 1 PM, all the water-features (slides, showers, water guns, etc) in the main kiddy pool got turned off. The silence was deafening. I looked up to see centre staff herding kids out of the pool. A "pool closed" A-frame sign had been placed by the far corner.

Mildly alarmed, I got up and went for a wander to find the daughter.

Then I saw it: the pool attendant standing at the other end of the pool, fishing about in the depths with a long-handled pool net. Finally she snagged her trophy and lifted the net out of the pool - displaying a freshly-laid turd to all and sundry.

That's right folks, the SA Aquatic Centre has had a Caddyshack moment!

[Pseudo]

The schadenfreude is flying thick and fast today....

Took the younger Pseudomite to the park, bringing a few stale crusts to toss to the ducks in the pond.

Got there to find a bogan couple holding their two-ish progeny right on the edge of the pond, hurling chunks of bread willy-nilly into the middle of the water. All this while standing more or less right next to a Great Big Sign reading:
- DON'T enter the water
- DON'T stand on the edge of the bank
- feed the ducks on the bank, NOT in the water.

We walked past, me tutting under my breath, found a clear spot on the bank and proceeded to entertain those few brave waterfowl who waddled up from the water.

Then....

SPLASH

AUUUUGHGHGHHHAAAAAHHHHHHHHH......

turned around to find the bogan couple madly scrabbling to grab the clothes of their kid, having fallen into the filth-ridden pond, scattering ducks willy-nilly. Said kid was fished out and promptly stripped naked, squealing all the while like a stuck pig.

Well I laughed...