Fisho's Frolics

[fisho mcspaz]

Don't feel ashamed, you wouldn't be the first and won't be the last.

Did you get migraines before or after you started taking SSRIs?

After. Just in the last three months I've been getting them. But I've taken SSRIs in the past with no adverse effects.

[Q.]

Don't feel ashamed, you wouldn't be the first and won't be the last.

Did you get migraines before or after you started taking SSRIs?

After. Just in the last three months I've been getting them. But I've taken SSRIs in the past with no adverse effects.

Doesn't mean they wouldn't be causing them this time around, especially with alcohol increasing the SSRI toxicity.

You should really speak to a doctor about the SSRIs causing your migraines.

Also, anxiety can sometimes be caused by low GABA levels. As GABA occurs naturally in the brain, taking GABA supplements to treat anxiety can be way more healthy than taking toxic anti-depressants. You should talk to a doctor regarding this option.

[smac]

Fisho, firstly bravo for putting it out there. Tough call to make.

I've travelled the path that sounds remarkably similar to yours and made a similar call to inform everyone I came into regular contact with (work mates, friends, family etc) and it was a positive step, I reckon.

The booze is the largest part of the whole process, IMO.

It was tough for me to admit, and while I agree you aren't an alcoholic, you do have a drinking problem. Not being able to limit your drinks or stop at a certain point is a problem. Very confronting and I wish I'd had someone tell me, instead I worked it out for myself (in fact, the entire journey results in an incredibly high level of self awareness which is a wonderful thing).

Getting off the booze with the help of Mr McSpaz will be one of the biggest steps you make toward recovery. That stuff just **** with your head! It may even require removing yourself from situations that are tempting (I skipped a few Centrals premiership after parties because I knew my family and mates would encourage me to have a beer or 12).

I'd be more than happy to offer my experiences/tips/encouragement if you feel it would help you at all.

[Gozu]

I have a friend who has Bipolar and a long time ago had a big drinking problem. He wasn't an alcoholic as such but was a huge binge drinker. He's told me stories of being on the dole and blowing his whole dole cheque in one night on booze. To the point he couldn't even afford a bus ticket home and would have to walk home from a pub in the city to West Lakes and would spend days hiding behind his front door pretending he wasn't home when the landlord would come looking for the rent money.

His parents were sick of bailing him out all the time so when he was in his late 20's they being well off offered to buy him a place if he stopped drinking altogether. Until a mini-relapse a few years ago he went more than a decade without drinking but is now in a situation where he doesn't feel he needs to drink anymore. It can be done.

Best of luck with your endeavours, Fisho.

[smac]

I just re-read my post - just to clarify, I am not a wowser and have not given up the grog for life! I do drink and enjoy it and have even been tanked a few times since. But not drinking at all for some time got rid of that bad habit I was in of not stopping at one, or drinking 'to drink' or 'to take the edge off'. I managed to retrain my noggin to get through even the shitty days without it.

[Psyber]

The SSRIs do vary in effect between themselves in any individual, and the same one can have different effects on different people, so talking to your doctor about the headaches makes sense.
Also, one of the SNRI antidepressants may suit you better. Regardless of the way medications are approved on the PBS, there is no simple best medication fotr each condition - it is a matter of educated trial and error to find the best choice for you and your individual body chemistry.

The other thing is that the more subtle variants of Bipolar Disorder, sometimes described as "Bipolar Spectrum Disorder" can manifest as anxiety disorder and panic.
These may benefit from treatment with a mood stabiliser like sodium valproate, which acts on the GABA pathways Quichey referred to.
Sometimes antidepressants taken alone can make the anxiety and panic worse as they improve the depression and this is an indicator to try a mood stabiliser.
A prominent family history of similar symptoms is often the best clue to whether the cause is primarily a chemical imbalance rather than psychological in origin.

GPs tend to be good at treating the more common variants, but to find themselves out of their depth with the less common presentations and so the atypical Bipolar variants cause them diagnostic problems.
So, a specialist opinion [or two] may be a good idea, preferably from someone with a particular interest in the mood disorders, not a Psychotherapist.
Your GP can get information about individual Psychiatrists areas of interest from the RANZCP office in North Adelaide or from the College of GPs web site.

[fisho mcspaz]

The SSRIs do vary in effect between themselves in any individual, and the same one can have different effects on different people, so talking to your doctor about the headaches makes sense.
Also, one of the SNRI antidepressants may suit you better. Regardless of the way medications are approved on the PBS, there is no simple best medication fotr each condition - it is a matter of educated trial and error to find the best choice for you and your individual body chemistry.

The other thing is that the more subtle variants of Bipolar Disorder, sometimes described as "Bipolar Spectrum Disorder" can manifest as anxiety disorder and panic.
These may benefit from treatment with a mood stabiliser like sodium valproate, which acts on the GABA pathways Quichey referred to.
Sometimes antidepressants taken alone can make the anxiety and panic worse as they improve the depression and this is an indicator to try a mood stabiliser.
A prominent family history of similar symptoms is often the best clue to whether the cause is primarily a chemical imbalance rather than psychological in origin.

GPs tend to be good at treating the more common variants, but to find themselves out of their depth with the less common presentations and so the atypical Bipolar variants cause them diagnostic problems.
So, a specialist opinion [or two] may be a good idea, preferably from someone with a particular interest in the mood disorders, not a Psychotherapist.
Your GP can get information about individual Psychiatrists areas of interest from the RANZCP office in North Adelaide or from the College of GPs web site.

I wasn't aware of the term 'Bipolar Spectrum Disorder'. However, I was evaluated by a psychiatrist at Flinders Med back at the beginning of April - I'd just had Luke, went home from hospital and had what I suppose might be called a breakdown - anyway, I was admitted straight back to hospital and they did a pretty thorough assessment (to the best of my knowledge) so I'm fairly confident that I'm being treated for the right condition. I have a family history of clinical depression (not manic-depression/bipolar) - there are two people in my family who took their own lives and who were known to suffer from depression - but we're not allowed to talk about it so I don't know if they had any other mental or physical health issues that could have factored in their suicides. Anyway, I would make an appointment to see a psychiatrist regardless except that I don't think I can afford to at the present time. I am doing pretty well - i. e. I haven't had to go back to hospital in nearly six months and I've resumed most of my usual activities - it is not easy but I use a lot of relaxation/distraction techniques and it gets me through.

ANYWAY, I'm going to change the subject now as I want to talk about something sort of awesome - not fully awesome, because it says that it is a 'rocking horse', which is a lie, it doesn't rock - the Big Rocking Horse at Gumeracha. I took the kids there this afternoon and waited at the bottom while Angus climbed up the horse. He was gone for quite some time and I began to worry - I mean, right before he began his ascent he'd said to me, 'Mummy, what if I jump off the top and fall down and die?' 'You won't fall down, there's a railing,' I reassured him. But was there really? It had, after all, been at least five years since I'd climbed it myself. What if some emo hood had gone up there in the meantime, declared that 'Life Is Pain' and proceeded to saw the railing off with his pocket-knife to symbolise the horse's mute agony in being labelled the world's biggest rocking horse and yet infallibly unable to rock? I dashed to the entrance gate, begged the girl at the table to look after my baby and then bolted up the ladder regardless of the short dress I had on or the gaggle of tourists with cameras below. I found Angus on the second level, too afraid to climb down. So I rescued him and as soon as we reached the ground, he wanted to climb the bloody horse again.

We gave the fauna park a miss this time round, as I had baby Luke in a pram and I remembered the disastrous time that I'd taken Angus there as a bubs (he kicked his legs enthusiastically, a swan pecked him, he booted the swan, I grabbed the pram and ran for our lives). But we did have a wander through the toy factory, where Angus got on my nerves by saying, every thirty seconds, 'What toy can I have if I'm good?' Of course I fully intended to back up my stern replies of 'I don't buy toys for people who keep asking for everything' by marching out of there empty-handed... but... the toy that he really wanted was the one that I really wanted, it was so cool! It was a length of wood with diagonal wooden platforms set all down it, and when you put a car on the top one it would roll all the way down WITHOUT FALLING OFF. Deadly. I don't even want to remember how much it cost, but Angus is playing with it in his bedroom right now.

Anyway, I'm going to cut this short because Luke's teething and he's gearing up for a screaming fit. Such are the joys of motherhood.

[Media Park]

Best of luck with everything Fisho...

[fisho mcspaz]

Well - tomorrow I drag my aching, gastric-flu-plagued arse on to the plane to Sydney. From there I'm heading up to Cairns and then on to Yungaburra in the Atherton Tablelands. My friend is getting married there and I'm making a weekend of it... let the fun begin!

I'm pretty sure the backpackers' lodge has WiFi but I don't know how much time I'll be spending on my computer. Nevertheless, I will be documenting all my adventures thoroughly and will provide a full account of them when I get back, complete with photos.

See you all in a few days!

[Media Park]

Make sure you write the address on your hand in case you get lost.

[fisho mcspaz]

Fisho's Queensland Adventure - Part One

I was going to wait until I'd got all my photos up so I could intersperse the narrative with them but I am so keen to start writing about my trip so I'll stick the pics up later tonight. I could do it now but I'm slack.

First of all, I was lucky to get to Queensland at all. I was as sick as a dog (with rabies and mange and fleas and whatever other diseases dogs get) on Saturday morning - I'd thought I was over my vomiting episode but it came back with a bang. I staggered into the airport at six-thirty in the morning, barely aware of what I was doing because I was concentrating with every fibre of my being on the singular task of not vomiting on the Qantas staff member who was checking my bags - that would have been inconvenient.

I found it very difficult to say goodbye to Mr McSpaz and Angus. It's funny - I used to be away from Angus' father for six-month intervals at a time and he'd be waving me off with a face like a basset hound while I'd be dancing down the walkway: 'Wheeeee, I'm going on the aeroplane!' But two days away from these guys and I nearly howled.

It was fortunate for me that Luke was an angel on the flight to Sydney - he slept the whole way - because I spent most of it on my knees in the bog. The air hostesses were quite concerned and one of them said that she would arrange for a wheelchair and a couple of medics to help me upon arrival. Five minutes later, though, the other one whispered to me that I'd be better off not telling the medics too much, because if they suspected that I had a viral illness I wouldn't be allowed to fly on to Cairns. Going back to Adelaide was out of the question. I wasn't in any condition to organise a new ticket, and, in the words of Forrest Gump, 'Seeing as I'd come this far, might as well keep on going!'

I did get the wheelchair upon arrival - it was pretty sweet, actually, because all I had to do was sit down while someone pushed me through the airport to my next flight, and they boarded me ahead of everyone else. Later on, after the plane had taken off, I got up from my seat to go to the bathroom and met about fifteen pairs of hostile eyes. I knew that they were all thinking, 'This moll got wheeled on to the plane ten minutes early, she's got two people looking after her every need, AND SHE'S NOT EVEN A PARAPLEGIC!'

Lunch was served on this flight - as a veggo, I got what was labelled 'Eggplant and Lentil Moussaka', but could only eat about half a forkful, still being nauseous and dehydrated. I was intensely annoyed about this. People always complain about aeroplane food but I love it, it might not be the greatest but it's still exciting because it comes in a little carton and it's on an aeroplane, as am I when I eat aeroplane food. Instead, I had to content myself with a banana that the air hostess had given me on the previous flight. I mustn't forget to mention the banana because this was quite an awkward little situation. Luke was asleep again and I was nodding off myself so I didn't want to eat my banana just then, but I was reluctant to put it on my tray in case they thought I didn't want it and took it away. I couldn't put it on my leg because it fell off; the only place it would stay was on my lap, where it looked like a... anyway, I was past caring, I just went to sleep. The air hostesses probably thought that I had a very bad sense of humour or that I was, I don't know, some sort of fruit-transvestite. I did have an awful fleeting desire to do my Alf Stewart impersonation: 'I've a right mind to just pull down your pants and F*** you in the arse, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!' while waving my banana-penis around, but fortunately the impulse passed.

We came north-east over the Atherton Tablelands, then swung around in a circle to approach Cairns from the coast. The pale, calm expanse of ocean and sweeping white beaches fringed with palms and mangroves were vastly different to the waters around Sydney, where the jagged rocks and cliffs were defined even more sharply by borders of furious white foam, and the sea was navy and depthless.

I stepped off the aeroplane into a world of steaming hot sunlight, lush green foliage and towering dark peaks. (Not entirely true - I stepped off the aeroplane into the airport, and was stuck for most of the way out behind a mountainous floral-shirted tourist with what sounded like a trombone jammed up his rectal passage. But that does not read so well as the first sentence. )

(Part Two - my first impressions of Cairns, teaching myself how to drive a manual car again, and heading off into the highlands without a map - to follow later tonight. )

[mighty_tiger_79]

we need to get the TV execs onto this new reality

The life and times of Fishos Frolics

[Media Park]

we need to get the TV execs onto this new reality

The life and times of Fishos Frolics

Margot Robbie to play Fisho...

[fisho mcspaz]

we need to get the TV execs onto this new reality

The life and times of Fishos Frolics

Margot Robbie to play Fisho...

Piss off!

[Psyber]

I wasn't aware of the term 'Bipolar Spectrum Disorder'.

It isn't an official term yet, though it was being considered for DSM-V to replace the collection of Bipolar Disorder [types I II III] and Cyclothymic Disorder, recognising them as manifestations of varying severity of the same underlying process, and that there is a form of recurring depression [without apparent mania or hypomania] but still driven by an underlying bipolar type malfunction.
Those of us supporting this change don't have the numbers yet.
Professor Keks at Box Hill Hospital in Melbourne is one prominent proponent.

[Media Park]

we need to get the TV execs onto this new reality

The life and times of Fishos Frolics

Margot Robbie to play Fisho...

Piss off!

I was thinking Ryan Moloney to play Mr McSpaz...
ducks after that one

[fisho mcspaz]

we need to get the TV execs onto this new reality

The life and times of Fishos Frolics

Margot Robbie to play Fisho...

Piss off!

I was thinking Ryan Moloney to play Mr McSpaz...
ducks after that one

You'd think that watching Toadie make out with Donna might be more traumatic than anything else, but whatever floats your boat...

[fisho mcspaz]

Fisho's Queensland Adventure - Part Two

The rental car place sent a minibus to pick me up. My illness was temporarily forgotten as we rocketed down the Captain Cook Highway past sugar cane and pineapple plantations on either side, brackish brown creeks and mangrove thickets with the most fantastically gnarled roots. Unfortunately, the idyll came to an abrupt end upon arrival at East Coast Car Rentals.

This mob advertises the lowest rates in Queensland, from $27 per day (asterisk included, of course). I'd done the booking online and was expecting to be charged $96 all up. However, the bloke behind the desk informed me that because my Visa card was a debit Visa as opposed to a real live credit card, there would be a five percent surcharge. 'Now,' he went on encouragingly, 'you haven't requested any insurance. What if you have an accident and it's YOUR FAULT? With our premium package it's only twenty-one dollars a day and you only have to pay $200 excess if you crash it.' I hadn't requested insurance because I hadn't wanted any. My driving may be slightly erratic but I always have confidence in myself even if no one else does (my mother likes to hang on to the Jesus bar at all times when I'm behind the wheel, which I find quite offensive). However, looking out at the unfamiliar Cairns cityscape, I had to admit that insurance was probably a good idea, particularly as I'd have to pay about three times what the car was actually worth if I totalled it. The thing that pissed me off was that instead of forking out $42 on the premium package, I could have got the basic third-party insurance for a fraction of this, which was all I really wanted anyway. But I didn't find this out until afterwards. Bloody car hire people - they're no different from used-car salesmen. Caution should be the watchword when interacting with these beings. The bloke then took an imprint of my Visa card - 'just in case you decide to turn the car into spare parts,' he chuckled. 'I wouldn't know how,' I replied, mentally adding, And if I was going to rook you, I wouldn't do it in a three-door Hyundai Getz, I'd rent the bloody Hummer.

Long story short, I ended up paying $148 or something for two days' car hire and then waiting an hour while they worked out how to fit a baby seat into the vehicle. I grew rather impatient and began making outraged-looking faces while tapping my foot, crossing my arms and generally acting like an uptight bitch to make them feel uncomfortable. Of course, my facade was completely ruined the minute I got behind the wheel. I'd forgotten the bloody car was a manual and I hadn't driven one since I'd sold my old Daewoo Lanos a year ago. I lurched out of the parking bay and screeched off down Sheridan St, leaving part of my front tyre on the pavement and a gaggle of East Coast Car Rental minions smirking in my rear vision mirror.

I am glad that Luke is only six months old because he will never remember the dreadful outburst of language I used as I tried to remember which pedal was the clutch and which one was the brake. For some reason I felt that it was necessary to do my remembering with the accelerator pressed to the floor. We left some more tread at the first set of traffic lights - 'Oooh, this looks promising, let's turn left, aaaaargh, pedestrian, AAAAARGH, RED LIGHT!' (screeching noise, then rapid acceleration) 'Well, we got out of that one, Lukey. I think I've got the hang of this car now, I'll go a bit faster. Wheeeee - aaaaargh, roundabout!'

We parked on the Esplanade with the intention of taking a leisurely stroll up to the Lagoon - a great man-made swimming pool right on the waterfront, with these cool giant fish fountains sticking up out of it. I reckon half the population of Cairns was there that afternoon. And this is disgusting, but at that moment I was glad that for the past couple of days I'd been vomiting and unable to eat, because it was like bloody Baywatch out there. I'm not the most self-conscious person, but it's hard not to be when you're surrounded by hundreds of beautiful bronzed effigies - I was already as white as a ghost compared to everyone, but thanks to the gastro I didn't have to worry about cellulite jodhpurs in addition. (haha sorry, I know that's revolting. Womanspeak at its worst.)

There were some roadside markets to browse through, but I was beginning to feel like a wilted leaf of lettuce from the sun and humidity, so we didn't stay too long. We walked back up the Esplanade; I took a few photos of the frangipani, the boats in the harbour and the war memorial; we stopped at a cafe where I fed Luke and managed to choke down a timbal of avocado and Moreton Bay Bugs, which I would have found delicious at any other time. Still, at least I didn't vomit it up again - I imagine avocado is one of those things that taste worse coming back up. (Incidentally, paddle pops, ginger ale and grapes are the most tolerable foods to regurgitate, while tacos, laksa and parmesan cheese rank among the worst. If you're sick to your stomach, mung on the grapes, you'll be glad you did.)

I'd wanted to drive up the coast to visit Port Douglas, which I remembered vaguely as having a beautiful sandy beach where Luke and I could chill out for an hour or so, but the bloody incompetent car people had taken so long about installing the baby seat that it was beginning to get late. So I decided to head for Yungaburra instead, albeit the long way around. Instead of going up the Gillies Range via Gordonvale, which would have taken approximately an hour, I intended to drive up through the touristy market town of Kuranda, then across the Tablelands to Mareeba. I had no map; I only knew that Kuranda was up the Kennedy Hwy and that Mareeba was apparently up there also, from reading a road sign. After Mareeba I had no idea, but I was feeling adventurous and I was confident that I'd find my way somehow.

Everyone has at least one talent; some people have multitudes of them. I have two. One is that I can write a good story and the other is that I have a compass in my head. I've never been lost in my life, including the first time I went across the United States in a truck and was asked to navigate the trip from Georgia to New York. I often find myself in strange places or on unknown roads, but I always get to where I'm going, and I generally do it without a map.

We got to Kuranda after a steep twisting drive through the rainforest, but didn't stay long as the bloody markets had just closed. By now I was knackered and decided that I'd just drive straight through to Yungaburra and come back and visit all the places the next day. I wanted BED.

Queenslanders are mad bastards on the road! You know how when you drive on the Southern Expressway, no matter how fast you're going there's always the ubiquitous VS Commodore that rips straight past at 170kph? ALL of the cars I encountered in the Atherton Tablelands were like that. I wasn't about to join them - I didn't know the road, and I had bubs in the back seat - and it was quite harrowing having them up my arse with nowhere to pull over. But I still found time to enjoy the scenery. We'd left the rainforest behind and the bushland was now more like something you'd see around Piccadilly or the Onkaparinga valley. It was subtly different, though, and it took me a while to put my finger on why: all of it, the long grass, the bright furrows of red earth dotted amongst the trees, the thick stands of eucalyptus, it was just so lush and vibrant. The leaves on these trees had never been dimmed by months of accumulated dust; their trunks had never been scorched by bushfire. I will get those photos up soon, I promise. A stranger sight was the weird lumpish little monoliths dotted at intervals along the road - my first thought was, 'Oh look, a giant turd' but in fact they were termite mounds. Once I realised what they were I pulled over and took half a dozen photos - I mean, not that a piece of poo that size wouldn't be similarly unusual, but you'd get over it pretty quickly, wouldn't you? Whereas termite mounds are quite fascinating when you think about the whole building process.

By the time I reached Mareeba, a good sixty-odd kilometres out of Cairns, I was beginning to worry a little bit. I had not seen a single sign to Yungaburra and for all I knew, I was heading right past it and into the wilderness. I would run out of petrol and have to live in a termite mound with only half a packet of Starbursts for nutrition. The highway split into a T-junction up ahead; I turned off to Atherton and hoped for the best. There were plenty of signs along the way but none of them made any reference to Yungaburra and at least seventy percent of them were ads for Atherton McDonald's. (Bloody hell. A stone's throw from some of the nation's best seafood - I passed at least five fresh fish retailers on the highway out of Cairns - and all we bloody want is that junk. Ever seen what a Big Mac beef patty looks like before it's cooked? It's all red and furry. I know because I worked at Macca's for two years.)

Atherton was like any country town in Australia, no different from Mt Gambier or Ararat or the like. By now I was too exhausted to notice anything distinctive about it. I was delighted, however, to see a sign for Yungaburra, just twelve kilometres away! I gunned it out of there, driving exuberantly over the roundabout in the process, and was at my final destination within five minutes. You bloody ripper!!

(Part Three to follow - what happened when I realised I would be staying in a room with no lock, no powerpoint and at least thirty drunk foreign guys; a fantastic first night with good food, good company and a yodelling accordion band (I s*** you not); and the arrival of Luke's first teeth.)

[Lunchcutter]

Wow fisho, sounds like quite an adventure... can't wait for the next installment. Thanks so much for sharing

[Psyber]

...The bloke then took an imprint of my Visa card - 'just in case you decide to turn the car into spare parts,' he chuckled.
'I wouldn't know how,' I replied, mentally adding, And if I was going to rook you, I wouldn't do it in a three-door Hyundai Getz, I'd rent the bloody Hummer...

From what I've heard around the traps Hummers are spare parts, and don't actually work for long as a vehicle.
I'd test driven one but got on the 'net to do due diligence and convinced myself not to go that way.