Best pickup lines you've ever used

[smac]

By the way, I paid after all I am a gentleman. We have spoken 7 times by phone since.....and are having dinner tomorrow night.

As long as you don't have to keep paying mate

Cmon CP,every one knows,you get a Mrs. you just keep paying for it*

Try getting rid of one, THEN you have to pay...

[silicone skyline]

Cmon CP,every one knows,you get a Mrs. you just keep paying for it

I don't think they even need to be a Mrs to cost you money.
Even girls who you've just meant willl suckle money out of you one way or another.

That leads me to a pickup line, untried but i'm gonna give it a go.

"Hey, i reckon you're going to cost me a lotttta money."

[Psyber]

Cmon CP,every one knows,you get a Mrs. you just keep paying for it

I don't think they even need to be a Mrs to cost you money.
Even girls who you've just meant willl suckle money out of you one way or another.

That leads me to a pickup line, untried but i'm gonna give it a go.

"Hey, i reckon you're going to cost me a lotttta money."

In my bachelor days between marriages I just drove up in my Porsche and didn't say anything. Of course those who throw themselves at you because of that are not worth keeping for long, or spending much on!

Since I remarried I have had to settle for a 10 year old Audi...

[JK]

Cmon CP,every one knows,you get a Mrs. you just keep paying for it

I don't think they even need to be a Mrs to cost you money.
Even girls who you've just meant willl suckle money out of you one way or another.

Yes, but who's the fool out of all that? It's the price we pay for the pusuit of happiness, no matter how short lived that might be ... We aren't the brightest of creatures at times!

[silicone skyline]

We aren't the brightest creatures period

[Pseudo]

I don't think they even need to be a Mrs to cost you money.
Even girls who you've just meant willl suckle money out of you one way or another.

That leads me to a pickup line, untried but i'm gonna give it a go.

"Hey, i reckon you're going to cost me a lotttta money."

I'm sure there's a joke about Hanson Rd. to be made here...

[silicone skyline]

Went to 108's about 6 months ago after a mates 21st.
Got a $30 lappy from some bird, she did tell me her "name" but i forget it now, not that that's important.
Some blackeyed peas song came on and she went about her work.
I had a guts full of jim beam and party sausage rolls.
She did her act, i could barely raise a ....finger, and that was it.
She said to me "you want another one luv?"
I looked her in the eye and said "Sweety, i don't think i'm in the state to really appreciate another one."
Then i spewed everywhere.
Legged it.

[smac]

You could copy/paste that into the "Stupid things I've done" thread too SS.

[silicone skyline]

It wasn't stupid smac, people spew.
I think legging it was the smart thing to do.

[tomo]

At Wet and Wild on the Gold coast a beautiful foreign chick was standing in the line behind me waiting to go on a water slide. She had massive cans and was wearing a bikinni. I turned to her and said "That bikinni really brings out the colour in your eyes".
Gave her one that night!

[bayman]

hey babe, i'll bet if you put your hand down my pants you'll feel nuts

[mal]

This is below the belt but I used to do this
I would approach a girl and ask:
" HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO INDIA ?"
" no."
Then I would undo my zip and say
" WELL GET THIS INDIA."

[Stumps]

Well played Mal

[Kahuna]

Just received the following in an email and thought of this thread immediately-----

A guy is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his
watch several times in the space of a few minutes.
The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running
late?"

"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the- art watch. I was just
testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the- art watch? What's so
special about it?"

The Aussie explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me
telepathically. "

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken
because I am wearing panties!''

The Aussie smirks, taps his watch and says,
"Bloody thing's running about an hour fast, can I buy you a
drink?

[Booney]

I am having fun on this end of it (point to crotch),how's about you getting on the other end of it?

[magpie in the 80's]

Pick-up Lines
1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
Man - "Fat Penguin!"

Woman - "WHAT?"

Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
11) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

[bayman]

mal says,how much does a polar bear weigh ?
the girl said i dunno !!
mal says, enough to break the ice hi i'm mal