by Dogwatcher » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:38 am
Speaking of light bulbs:
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
Temple College: 100 - one to change the light bulb and 99 to praise and worship God for the life of the light bulb and to celebrate the new light bulb and have a huge service about the 'going out of the old and bringing in of the new'.
Scotch College: Two - one to call the electrician and one to call their father to pay the cheque
St Peters: Two - one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician
CBC: Eleven - one to change the light bulb and ten to share the experience when he bends over
Elizabeth high School: None - Elizabeth doesn't have electricity.
Concordia: Two - One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure
St Ignatius: Just one. The school captain comes back after finishing year 12 and the headmaster stands by to congratulate him on his achievements.
Parafield Gardens High: 0 - looks better in the dark anyway.
Loreto: None – they’re all too busy playing touch football, wearing their pearls and their grounds men will do it anyway
Uni of SA: Seventy-six - one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb’s right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest
Gepps Cross Girls: 0 - These girls don’t have time to change a light bulb, they’re too busy looking up each others skirts.
Salisbury High: None - Salisbury looks better in the dark
Annesly: One - she holds the bulb and the world revolves around her
Cabra dominican college:Twenty - one to change it and 19 to make a song and dance about the emotion they went through while changing the light bulb
Prince Alfred College: Five - one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Adelaide using that nuked light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program
St Aloysius: Five - One to change the lightbulb and four to find her the perfect outfit to wear for the occasion
Modbury Heights: Three - one to change it and two to figure out howto get high off the old one
Rostrevor: Ten - one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works
Adelaide Uni: Four - one to change it, one to call Parliament about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at Flinders students
Brighton High school: Two - one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how she did it as well as a private school student
Mary MacKillop: Three - one to change it and the other two to stand up on chairs on either side of her with cans of hairspray just in case of the emergency that her 20cm high fringe drops 1cm
Seaton High School: Five - one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it
St Michael's High School: 0 - they've finally learnt that when you're that stoned, light hurts your eyes, so it's better just to leave it alone.
Trinity College: 900 - Changing a light bulb would be like going on an excursion for these guys, so the whole school would turn up for the celebration.
Pembroke: Eight - it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress
Pulteney Grammar: 0 - No one wants to get their hands dirty.
St Peter's Girls: None - they are all too drunk to notice
St Dominic’s: 0 - It's not that they can't do it, they just look better with the lights off
OLSH: Thirty - 1 to call the electrician and 29 to flirt with him when he arrives
Reynella East high school: Change them? Is that what they're meant to be used for?
Blackfriars: Fourteen - 2 to look out for a teacher while the other 12 see who can piss high enough to reach it
Thomas More College: 10 - 1 to change the light bulb, 2 to get smashed and drunk because of it and 7 more to "support" the person who is changing by cheering him on and giving them weed and shit.
St Paul's: Five - 1 to change the light bulb and the other 4 to bash him up cos he's a fag.
Siena College: Four- one to change the light bulb, one to stare up her skirt while she does it, one to hold the vodka bottle and the other to ring around making bomb threats to St Michael's and searching for PAC parties - to scab the free alcohol.
Daws Road: 82 - 1 to take the old lightbulb out and 81 to figure out how to make it work again because they can't afford a new one
St Mary's: Only one, but it takes 3 others to bitch-slap her because she was getting all the attention
Walford: 2 - 1 to change the light, one to jump around because it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened there
Wilderness: Twenty - 1 to change it and 19 to bitch about it
Mitcham Girls: 10 - 1 to change it, 4 to hold a memorial service for being such a strong female lightbulb, that did women-kind proud, and 5 to boast about how they didn't need a man to change their light.
Unley High: 1 - one uses his mobile to call someone else to fix it, the rest of the boys are at shoppo, smoking and gelling their hair for when the Siena buses arrive...
Norwood-Morialta High: 5 - one to change it after the other 4 have organised a student committee to look into lighting matters and how it affects students. They then go on (sadly) about how great it is to be at the best non-private high school in South Australia.
Marryatville: 21-one to change it, 20 to write a song about
You're my only friend, and you don't even like me.