Kids say the darndest things

[Pseudo]

My 2.5 year old daughter had a helium balloon on a string and was pulling it around the house. As is often the case, she let go of the string and the balloon floated to the ceiling, leaving the string dangling a good few inches above her reach. She had only very recently discovered the art of language, but realising that if you make the right sequence of noises you can oftentimes get the larger human beings in the household to do your bidding, she turned to me and commanded:

"Hold my nipples and count to ten"



Back to the drawing board. All that tedious, repetitive work of sitting her on my knee and reading through picture books has obviously gone to waste.

Has anyone else had their crotchfruit come up with some surreal and/or embarrassing comments, or is mine the only one?

[rogernumber10]

Younger of my two has serious swearing issues (he has copied well) that we are have been trying to work through for a little while. Two best incidents:
Lined all his cars up end to end when he was about five and said 'Granny, looking at the f..cking traffic'
In Grade one, when asked who his favourite superhero was, passed on the usual suspects and nominated 'Captain hellf.ck'

[smac]

The youngest smac, recently 2, has been trying to join her older brother and sister in the Christmas spirit.

Father Christmas is coming out as "Far Careful". The first time she said it, I thought I was being told to "f**k off".

Eldest smac, now 9, when he was about 4 decided that it was a good thing to repeat everything Dad said. This resulted in some amusing times, but a rather embarresing time in the Magic Cave. Ferfuxake, where'd all these pr*cks come from?

[JAS]

Psuedo...I'm intrigued...what do you think she might have been trying to say or was this something she overheard or have you been using the wrong picture books

Regards
JAS

[Psyber]

Psuedo...I'm intrigued...what do you think she might have been trying to say or was this something she overheard or have you been using the wrong picture books

Regards
JAS

It sounds like the electronic picture book in the corner to me....
I've had people tell me their 8 year olds are big fans of shows I think of as soft porn, and they don't seem to think they should be discouraging them from watching them.

[gadj1976]

Not rude, but funny nevertheless....

Niece 3... I was holding a door open for her and said "what's the magic word?".

She looked at me and said "move".

[smithy]

Clearing out the shed and stumbled upon some old LP's....
My daughter (then 5) said "they're big CD's Dad'...

[Pseudo]

Psuedo...I'm intrigued...what do you think she might have been trying to say or was this something she overheard or have you been using the wrong picture books

Considering this:

1. She has recently used the term "nipples" to refer to any body part from the armpits to the hands. Recently in the playground at a junk food establishment, I grasped her by both forearms as she tried to get away from me, and she responded by screaming "Let go my nipples!" for all the other parents to hear.

and:

2. I typically count "1..2..3.." before hoisting her into the air.

I suspect that she wanted me to lift her up so she could grab the string. But really I think this little story is better left without any explanation.

[TroyGFC]

she responded by screaming "Let go my nipples!"

Pseudo think you need to know "NO MEANS NO"!! and shut the bedroom door!!

[Mr66]

My (then) six year old niece ran out of her back door, vowing to catch the snail
that ran away from her.

[Hazbeen]

My 3 year old mini-me, who was bottle fed, wanted to know from a friend when seeing her breast feeding discreetly at our local footy this year at the top of his voice, "why is that baby biting your boobies?", when he didn't get an answer he turned to his mother and repeated the question even louder until he got an answer he was happy with.

Recently on the body parts theme he wanted to know from our friends son when they were getting bathed how come his willy looks funny (one cut, one not), our lad is 3 and his friend 2, he then went on to explain to his 2 year old friend what boys have and what girls have but still wanted to know why his was funny looking.

[Strawb]

my niece has said a top one recently.
She was troubled at school as her pet cat went to the vet being a country town the only time a cat goes to the vet is when it is being put down.
The teacher said she was sorry to hear my niece's cat was being put down to which my niece replied.
He is getting his nuts cut off.