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Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 1:46 pm
by Lightning McQueen
am Bays wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:
Corona Man wrote:Clearly she wants you mate… send her a dick pic…apparently that’s how you chat birds up now..

She's only human.

There would be less than no chance of that, every time we go to a function she opens up with "Can you please get the first round, I need to rush to the ladies, I'll have a French Champagne thanks".

I can only ever recall her using her card once and that's because I pretty much made her after sinking down a shitload of various Big Shed beers.


I'd do one of two things:
1. I'd get her a red tin, and say "I know you said French champagne but I'd thought I'd get you something better"

or get her a glass of Carrington brut and tell her "Carrington is French for Champagne..."


Not worth putting up with the whining for the remainder of the night, I just make myself scarce at the first opportunity and move my table card to a place where I'll most enjoy the evening before everyone arrives to check theirs.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 3:36 pm
by Dutchy
Booney wrote:
Dutchy wrote:Is cashing in scrap metal worthwhile?

I have an old steel trampoline, heavy as ****, plus a outdoor heater that no longer works and now the oven has shat itself, if it would be worthwhile Ill go cash it in, but if its under $200 someone else can do it


Steel ranges from 15-20c per kg.

Who will you get to do it? :lol:


Nah not worth it then, there are guys up our way advertising all the time to take scrap metal off people's hands for free

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 3:46 pm
by Spargo
More gems from the Northpark shopping centre…
- Hefty girl sitting in the front passenger seat of a car eating one of those pre made Woolies chocolate mud cakes that feed 8-10, with her hands
- Ol’ mate striding through the mall sucking on a Jim Beam & cola long neck, telling everyone “I’ve earned this”…
- Two women having a turf war in the car park over cigarette butts

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 3:49 pm
by The Bedge
Spargo wrote:- Ol’ mate striding through the mall sucking on a Jim Beam & cola long neck, telling everyone “I’ve earned this”…

Well I have!

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 3:52 pm
by mighty_tiger_79
Spargo wrote:More gems from the Northpark shopping centre…
- Hefty girl sitting in the front passenger seat of a car eating one of those pre made Woolies chocolate mud cakes that feed 8-10, with her hands
- Ol’ mate striding through the mall sucking on a Jim Beam & cola long neck, telling everyone “I’ve earned this”…
- Two women having a turf war in the car park over cigarette butts
This sort of material deserves its own thread

Sent from my SM-G781B using Tapatalk

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 3:56 pm
by Spargo
mighty_tiger_79 wrote:
Spargo wrote:More gems from the Northpark shopping centre…
- Hefty girl sitting in the front passenger seat of a car eating one of those pre made Woolies chocolate mud cakes that feed 8-10, with her hands
- Ol’ mate striding through the mall sucking on a Jim Beam & cola long neck, telling everyone “I’ve earned this”…
- Two women having a turf war in the car park over cigarette butts
This sort of material deserves its own thread

Sent from my SM-G781B using Tapatalk

I kid you not, I witnessed all this within 7-8 minutes.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2021 9:12 am
by Lightning McQueen
Spargo wrote:I kid you not, I witnessed all this within 7-8 minutes.

Seeing someone take a coffee cup out of the bin last year and chug down the dregs was pure gold for me, right at the peak of COVID too.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:38 am
by Lightning McQueen
Was watching that 100 show last night and they were asking how many people leave something out for the garbo at Christmas, the Becky chick said she doesn't but she flashes her tit at them.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:16 am
by Brodlach
Lightning McQueen wrote:Was watching that 100 show last night and they were asking how many people leave something out for the garbo at Christmas, the Becky chick said she doesn't but she flashes her tit at them.

As a kid my dad use to leave them two long necks, nowadays I find them pedantic pricks so I leave them nothing. In our area if the lid is even partially raised they don’t empty the bin.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:20 am
by Booney
Brodlach wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:Was watching that 100 show last night and they were asking how many people leave something out for the garbo at Christmas, the Becky chick said she doesn't but she flashes her tit at them.

As a kid my dad use to leave them two long necks, nowadays I find them pedantic pricks so I leave them nothing. In our area if the lid is even partially raised they don’t empty the bin.


As a kid they ran behind trucks throwing shit in the truck earning a thirst, now they drive around in air conditioned units with massive windscreens.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:42 am
by Spargo
Booney wrote:
Brodlach wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:Was watching that 100 show last night and they were asking how many people leave something out for the garbo at Christmas, the Becky chick said she doesn't but she flashes her tit at them.

As a kid my dad use to leave them two long necks, nowadays I find them pedantic pricks so I leave them nothing. In our area if the lid is even partially raised they don’t empty the bin.


As a kid they ran behind trucks throwing shit in the truck earning a thirst, now they drive around in air conditioned units with massive windscreens.

On over $100k a year

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:43 am
by Lightning McQueen
Booney wrote:
Brodlach wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:Was watching that 100 show last night and they were asking how many people leave something out for the garbo at Christmas, the Becky chick said she doesn't but she flashes her tit at them.

As a kid my dad use to leave them two long necks, nowadays I find them pedantic pricks so I leave them nothing. In our area if the lid is even partially raised they don’t empty the bin.


As a kid they ran behind trucks throwing shit in the truck earning a thirst, now they drive around in air conditioned units with massive windscreens.

All the garbo's played footy at my club when I was growing up, every single one had knee recon's.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 12:18 pm
by amber_fluid
Spargo wrote:
Booney wrote:
Brodlach wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:Was watching that 100 show last night and they were asking how many people leave something out for the garbo at Christmas, the Becky chick said she doesn't but she flashes her tit at them.

As a kid my dad use to leave them two long necks, nowadays I find them pedantic pricks so I leave them nothing. In our area if the lid is even partially raised they don’t empty the bin.


As a kid they ran behind trucks throwing shit in the truck earning a thirst, now they drive around in air conditioned units with massive windscreens.

On over $100k a year


Probably why council rates are so high

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 12:51 pm
by Footy Chick
Not laugh so much as roll my eyes....As I look out my window, I see a half full carpark.

Wanker in ute pulls up and instead of parking forward in one of the 4 free spaces in front of him, he holds up traffic taking 5 shots to reverse park and squeeze inbetween 2 cars :roll:

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 12:54 pm
by Spargo
Footy Chick wrote:Not laugh so much as roll my eyes....As I look out my window, I see a half full carpark.

Wanker in ute pulls up and instead of parking forward in one of the 4 free spaces in front of him, he holds up traffic taking 5 shots to reverse park and squeeze inbetween 2 cars :roll:

He knew you were watching…

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 3:01 pm
by Lightning McQueen
Sunday arvo.

Needed a few things from the shop a bit over a km away, thought I'd do the right thing and walk.

Get there and have no mask so I do the frog march home with the shits on at myself.

Open the car to get a mask out then decide to just drive this time.

Get to the shop and go to get my phone out of my pocket to scan in and a friggin mask comes out with it, was in there the whole time.

Go t o leave and walk straight past my car as I forgot I drove, if it wasn't for me thinking I must've dropped my sunnies in the shop I would've walked the whole way home.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2021 3:34 pm
by MW
Things that make me laugh

Lightning McQueen wrote:Sunday arvo.

Needed a few things from the shop a bit over a km away, thought I'd do the right thing and walk.

Get there and have no mask so I do the frog march home with the shits on at myself.

Open the car to get a mask out then decide to just drive this time.

Get to the shop and go to get my phone out of my pocket to scan in and a friggin mask comes out with it, was in there the whole time.

Go t o leave and walk straight past my car as I forgot I drove, if it wasn't for me thinking I must've dropped my sunnies in the shop I would've walked the whole way home.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2021 6:34 pm
by cracka
Chad Sayers comment on the batters walking off from Karen Rolton oval due to the pitch.

Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2021 6:38 pm
by mighty_tiger_79
cracka wrote:Chad Sayers comment on the batters walking off from Karen Rolton oval due to the pitch.
I reckon they should and see how it gets received

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Re: Things that make you laugh

PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2021 11:13 pm
by Vamos
Footy Chick wrote:Not laugh so much as roll my eyes....As I look out my window, I see a half full carpark.

Wanker in ute pulls up and instead of parking forward in one of the 4 free spaces in front of him, he holds up traffic taking 5 shots to reverse park and squeeze inbetween 2 cars :roll:


5 shots, wasn't George Costanza then.