SA Footy

What a crock. I've read mine a few times and I'm annoyed by how vague and general they are.

I reckon I could write horoscopes.

Does anyone out there actually read them and take them seriously?

Libra: The stars will align some time this week and something will emerge that will arouse your personal interests. Professionally, you will have to confront an issue that has been eating at your for some time. Your love life will be somewhat seamless until selfishness rocks the boat to an extent that may see you needing to retreat to solve the problem.

God, this is easy.

Leo: today will be like every other day

Exactly. I can't believe they are so popular in all those magazines.

Here's some horoscopes for ya SS.

Cancer: Today you will get cancer. Tough luck.
Capricorn: You like corn.
Aquarius: You will get wet today.
Leo: You're an old Jewish man.
Aries: You will breathe today.
Pisces: The pie sees all.
Saggittarius: You will fight Sagat from Street Fighter.
Scorpio: Watch out for scorpions.
Virgo: You have never had sex.
Libra: Don't forget to use a tampon.
Taurus: That bloke tore us a new arsehole.
Gemini: Your first car was a Holden.

Most of those apply to me.