SA Footy

This is taken straight from Choccies suggestion in the "Things that give you the sh1ts" thread.

I had to start it because it reminded me of my old next door neighbour in Morphettville...

Actually the old neighbours were great. Had a chat, pottered around the garden. Then they went off to the nursing home, and next arrived the new neighbour.

It didn't say hello or introduce itself. I say "it", because we genuinely could not tell if it was a male or female for a long time. All we knew was it looked HARD. Shaved head, tatts down to the wrists, nothing but black clothing. Then we noticed the washing line. Nothing but black anything. Sheets, teatowels, towels, shirts, whatever. The only non black items were camouflage. Interesting. Black motorbike. Black car. Once when she left her window open the mrs noticed she'd painted the walls black.

The three enormous Rhodesian Ridgebacks that mostly lived inside were also interesting. I quite like a Ridgeback, but not when there's three antisocial ones over the fence leaping up at the slightest movement during the afternoon when they were allowed outside.

One of the slats in the fence broke once. She (we heard her speak once after about six months) boarded it up with a pallet, with a large red texta sign saying YOU C%$T written for our benefit on it. She must have thought it was my fault I suppose.

We had a trampoline. The kids liked going on it. We figured she didn't like that, as she hung a PIGS HEAD off her peach tree right near the fence line, staring at the tramp. It rotted there for a year. My kids used to throw sticks at it. Once when the kids were on the tramp she called them "F#$%@&g c%$#s".

The cops turned up once for a disturbance there. We knew as a SWAT man lobbed on our doorstep to see if we'd seen or heard anything. Said to keep inside for the time being. All sorts of hooting and hollering going on.

So all up a pretty interesting neighbour. Just made us feel uncomfortable a fair bit of the time. There's got to be some cracking stories of neighbourly fun out there...

we lived in paralowie for most of my life, and the parents still do. we had a neighbour tht was all of five feet tall and had a big german sheppherd called Rambo we had a beagle called bert, as in bert and ernie

one day me and my mates were playing chasey. we ran from the back yard to the front and the beagle slipped out before we could shut the gate, by accident. the neighbour and his dog were out the front of their place, as usual. the sheppherd seemed to have free reign of the front yard all the time and also seemed to like crapping on our front lawn

well anyway, the beagle went the sheppherd, and kicked its arse!! the much bigger dog went running for cover and we grabbed bert and put him back in the back yard, no harm done seemingly. the neighbour, tough guy that he was decided to have a go at the 12 year old (me) to defend his dogs honour. "if you want to bring your bloody dog out the front just say so and ill put mine away" my reply "if you dog wasnt out the front all the time crapping on our lawn it wouldnt get its arse kicked when ours got out accidentally"

My mum was inside and heard the exchange and started to rush out to stop me getting killed, but just stopped and laughed when the hero apologised and went inside! we didnt see his dog outside for a long while after that!!

Back a few years ago the neighbour across the road used to let his 2 shihtzu's outside to empty their bowels but the little fluff balls would wander across the street and crap on my nicely manicured couch front lawn and this infuriated me because every night I would come home to 2 freshly laid (albeit it little...) bombs on the lawn that I had to pick up every night. After numerous requests for them to stop followed by me flicking a few of them back over there while he was out the front it still continued (despite suggestions I would let my 2 40 kilo dogs come over to his lawn for their daily crap...) so over the following 2 or 3 months I proceeded to collect them up in a bucket and when I had finally had enough and he was out the front gardening I walked over to his driveway, tipped the bucket upside down and politely returned his property.

Dogs never crapped on my lawn again

Choccies wrote:Back a few years ago the neighbour across the road used to let his 2 shihtzu's outside to empty their bowels but the little fluff balls would wander across the street and crap on my nicely manicured couch front lawn and this infuriated me because every night I would come home to 2 freshly laid (albeit it little...) bombs on the lawn that I had to pick up every night. After numerous requests for them to stop followed by me flicking a few of them back over there while he was out the front it still continued (despite suggestions I would let my 2 40 kilo dogs come over to his lawn for their daily crap...) so over the following 2 or 3 months I proceeded to collect them up in a bucket and when I had finally had enough and he was out the front gardening I walked over to his driveway, tipped the bucket upside down and politely returned his property.

Dogs never crapped on my lawn again

I've been lucky and had good neighbours (actually, I still haven't seen any of my current neighbours and I've been living here 8 months).

A neighbour at our old house dropped dead in his front lawn about 10 years ago.

Brucetiki wrote:I've been lucky and had good neighbours (actually, I still haven't seen any of my current neighbours and I've been living here 8 months).

A neighbour at our old house dropped dead in his front lawn about 10 years ago.

When i was a kid, my neighbour got stabbed on our front lawn by some crazed ex-lover of his wife. A few years later his wife killed herself, after about a dozen attempts over a few months.

This one time at band camp...... Actually, another time while my next door neighbours who we get on really well with were away overseas and I had to have their dog put down while they were gone. Poor little thing was in a bad way and had no hope so after a few days I decided to put it out of it;s misery. Only a week later I had to bury the cat belonging to the guy across the road (not the dog poo guy...) This old cat used to lay on the driveway in the sun so it was no surprise to come home and see it asleep on the driveway. One night I was out the front and heard the daughter scream up the driveway in the car, run out the back and then hop back in the car and scream off down the street. After a minute or 2 I looked up and saw the cat there which wouldn't have been unusual except that it was raining. So I wandered over to check out what the odl moggy was up to and noticed his brains squashed out of his head all over the driveway and the ants already having a field day. The cat had gone under her car to get out of the rain and daughter didn't notice obviously....
So.... the guy wasn't home so I tried to bury the cat in his side garden but it was too hard so I tried the little flower bed right by his front door. This was a little softer so after lifting the ground cover plant away and digging a 'cat sized hole' I dropped kitty into it on his side and covered him with the dirt and layed teh spreading ground cover evenly over it to make it look like nothing had happened. One problem. Poking out from the ground cover was a big, long, furry grey tail !!!!
So kitty got dug up, re-buried (including tail) and ground cover dutifully placed back on top. The owner got a note blu-tacked to his front door telling him his cat was buried in his garden.... Geez what a nightmare that was !! But 2 less pets in the neighbourhood....

My neighbours are funny people.

I don't get too close to them.

But we all look after each others house whenever we go away.

I don't have any neighbours from hell.

I have very good neighbours.

When I was living at home with mum and dad about 8 years ago, my bedroom window was down the side of the house which faced the always open bedroom window of our neighbours, a mid 30's couple that were generally pretty friendly and polite...

In the summer with the balmy nights, you of course sleep with the windows open to feel the nice breeze coming through. Wasn't the only nice thing that was felt if you get my drift, I would often hear and see the couple 'showing their love for each other' !!

I also used to wake some Sunday mornings to hearing the fella serenade his missus on his guitar then see him sitting on the end of the bed in the nikki nude

My mum's next door neighbour mows his back lawn in the nude....

Cant imagine if he ever ran over a golf ball

My neighbours are like the set of desperate housewives. Side, across the road and behind me are all families with stay at home mums with kids of the same age around 5 to 8.
They all hang out and get pissed together and it's impossible to get out my car without them yelling out to me to say hello.
(i'm only 24.. bloody cougars)
All the kids get in trouble because they run across the road to tell me any many goals they kicked at school etc, etc.

Then the house on the other side....
it started as a family... then the wife and kids left... just the dad who was swedish in his 40s.
Then in moved 'new' roomates who were both 20 something deros.
And then they all just sat on his balcony smoking weed to all hours of the morning for months.
Then one day a for sale sign went up, never saw them again and the new family are dead quiet.
And all the houses around me have a pool with kids... terrible in summer sitting in my hotbox listening to screaming splashing kids having a ball!!!!!

Since 1983, I've been careful to live in areas where you rarely see or hear your neighbours, except by invitation, and where polite social behaviour is highly valued.
Larger blocks help - crowding causes impact and conflict.
The only time I've lived on less than an acre since 1983 was 1999, in Malvern, in Melbourne's inner east.
Prior to 1983, I had a Ukrainian neighbour in Prospect who took to nagging me bout my lawn growing under his fence.
I said I was rather too busy for a lot of gardening, and invited him to pop in any time it bothered him and he wanted to trim it.
Surprisingly he took me up on it, and we got along quite well thereafter!!

One of my neighbours had a crack at me when I was stepping out of the lift. Called me a ******* moron and gave me a shove.

Then went to the magistrates court and put a restraining order on me saying I attacked him. Fun times.

Live in a block of standalone units. About two months after moving in, heard our rubbish bins being rummaged through. this happened for a couple of weeks until i decided to investigate. Turned out it was our 80+ year old neighbour sorting our recyclables and rubbish for us. wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't happen every monday at midnight. very friendly gesture but still a bit freaky.

My neighbour across the rd likes to put her parrot on her shoulder and talk to it as loud as she can at 6am.. She does alot of wierd things... But when i think bout it she probb thinks my house is the weird neiighbours seems my housemate went over there naked one time drunk after skullin a pint of beam and tried to have sex with her... Shes like 60.

Johno6 wrote:My neighbour across the rd likes to put her parrot on her shoulder and talk to it as loud as she can at 6am.. She does alot of wierd things... But when i think bout it she probb thinks my house is the weird neiighbours seems my housemate went over there naked one time drunk after skullin a pint of beam and tried to have sex with her... Shes like 60.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Drop Bear wrote:

Johno6 wrote:My neighbour across the rd likes to put her parrot on her shoulder and talk to it as loud as she can at 6am.. She does alot of wierd things... But when i think bout it she probb thinks my house is the weird neiighbours seems my housemate went over there naked one time drunk after skullin a pint of beam and tried to have sex with her... Shes like 60.

Hahahahahahahaha!

mate, any holes a goal!

how'd he go?

All my neighbours are great.

Next door we have a professional couple, no kids. They leave the key to their side fence with us over summer so our kids can use the pool. He has a good fishing boat too with a open invitation, and season tickets for the members at AAMI, which he used to dish off when he doesn't want 'em (I get tickets now so don't need 'em). We feed their cats/bird when they go away.

Other side, is a builder. He sprays our fence for Redbacks, and helped do our house renovations. Always around the place and is a great security guard ! They have 3 kids in their early 20's who are pretty good, and they don't make any noise ! Always lends out his tools and is up for a beer especially when Carlton are playing as he is a Blues man !

Behind our house we have the Lockleys Footy Club ! love waking up on Sunday morning and smelling the Bacon n Eggs cooking. Quite often pop out and watch Locks play when I'm home. A great little club, who always letter drop box when they're having a show. That's fantastic as I open up the windows so I can hear the band playing
Also enjoy it during Baseball season (West Torens), and the sound of the "ting" when batters hit a homer !

SJABC wrote:All my neighbours are great.

Next door we have a professional couple, no kids. They leave the key to their side fence with us over summer so our kids can use the pool. He has a good fishing boat too with a open invitation, and season tickets for the members at AAMI, which he used to dish off when he doesn't want 'em (I get tickets now so don't need 'em). We feed their cats/bird when they go away.

Other side, is a builder. He sprays our fence for Redbacks, and helped do our house renovations. Always around the place and is a great security guard ! They have 3 kids in their early 20's who are pretty good, and they don't make any noise ! Always lends out his tools and is up for a beer especially when Carlton are playing as he is a Blues man !

Behind our house we have the Lockleys Footy Club ! love waking up on Sunday morning and smelling the Bacon n Eggs cooking. Quite often pop out and watch Locks play when I'm home. A great little club, who always letter drop box when they're having a show. That's fantastic as I open up the windows so I can hear the band playing
Also enjoy it during Baseball season (West Torens), and the sound of the "ting" when batters hit a homer !

Sounds like you live in Pleasantville, are you in colour?

Felch wrote:

Brucetiki wrote:I've been lucky and had good neighbours (actually, I still haven't seen any of my current neighbours and I've been living here 8 months).

A neighbour at our old house dropped dead in his front lawn about 10 years ago.

When i was a kid, my neighbour got stabbed on our front lawn by some crazed ex-lover of his wife. A few years later his wife killed herself, after about a dozen attempts over a few months.

I take it you've moved away from Alberton since