SA Footy

Well it seems MasterChef is pretty popular - but I prefer Ready Steady Cook myself!

Anyway, the egg white vs egg yolk discussion has got me thinking about kitchen disasters. We've all had one, and we've all been on the receiving end of one. Whether at home or a mate's house; at a wedding or a 21st; wherever.

I'll kick off:

Mrs Squawk received a request to make me pancakes, many years ago. She asked what I would like on them and I said banana, sugar and lemon juice please.

Said pancake was duly served up, but something was horribly amiss. The lemon juice was off. I check the use by date and find that no, it is fine.

The banana was ripe.

Maybe the pancake itself is awry. Nope - all good there.

Turns out that the problem was that instead of sprinkling sugar, I got salt (albeit by accident, not design).

It was definitely a disaster for me.....

I once tried cooking Lemon Chicken at home and it went horribly wrong something to do with the lemon juice......

At a mates place in our late teens, and we ended u playing pool and drinking til all hours .. At about 3am some bright spark decided it would be good to have a feed, to which the remaining bright sparks vigorously agreed.

One of the lads is a chef and immediately claimed cooking rights, so down to the kitchen we headed .. I can't remember what it was he was making, but he had multiple frying pans on the go, and something had to be amiss given the amount of smoke rapidly filling the kitchen.

I opened one of the cupboards underneath the hot plates and have never taken in so much smoke in my life, but once visibility returned I still couldn't find a problem .. Eventually we all shrugged our shoulders and said "**** it" and sat down and munged out.

The next morning I returned and was met by my mates mum, who promptly greeted me with (in her thick Scottish accent) "And which of you boys was responsible for the cooking this morning??"

Anyway she took me through to the kitchen and pointed to the stove and there sitting somewhat warped and burnt, were the hot-plate covers our chef had neglected to remove before he commenced the cooking ... Oops!

Constance_Perm wrote:At a mates place in our late teens, and we ended u playing pool and drinking til all hours .. At about 3am some bright spark decided it would be good to have a feed, to which the remaining bright sparks vigorously agreed.

One of the lads is a chef and immediately claimed cooking rights, so down to the kitchen we headed .. I can't remember what it was he was making, but he had multiple frying pans on the go, and something had to be amiss given the amount of smoke rapidly filling the kitchen.

I opened one of the cupboards underneath the hot plates and have never taken in so much smoke in my life, but once visibility returned I still couldn't find a problem .. Eventually we all shrugged our shoulders and said "**** it" and sat down and munged out.

The next morning I returned and was met by my mates mum, who promptly greeted me with (in her thick Scottish accent) "And which of you boys was responsible for the cooking this morning??"

Anyway she took me through to the kitchen and pointed to the stove and there sitting somewhat warped and burnt, were the hot-plate covers our chef had neglected to remove before he commenced the cooking ... Oops!

haha I did that at a holiday house once! It was the first time I'd come across hot plate covers so I was quite surprised.

A mate of mine one night made me some brownies...
i dont know what was wrong with them but i felt really funny after i ate a few....

and then i got even hungrier......

I was proudly cooking a lamb roast for my girlfirends family when I was about 20, about an hour or so in it was smelling a little strange, I opened the oven door and had a look and everything seemed to be fine as I chucked in the spuds.
Another half an hour past and the smell was getting very pungent and I began to hit panic mode as something was definetely wrong, I took the everything out and had a look in the oven to find a mouse had been trapped and stuck to the element and the foul odour was him and his fur cooking, it was vial. I was pretty embarassed and quickly changed plans, half an hour later the pizza's arrived. My pride was shot to pieces though.

Lightning McQueen wrote:I was proudly cooking a lamb roast for my girlfirends family when I was about 20, about an hour or so in it was smelling a little strange, I opened the oven door and had a look and everything seemed to be fine as I chucked in the spuds.
Another half an hour past and the smell was getting very pungent and I began to hit panic mode as something was definetely wrong, I took the everything out and had a look in the oven to find a mouse had been trapped and stuck to the element and the foul odour was him and his fur cooking, it was vial. I was pretty embarassed and quickly changed plans, half an hour later the pizza's arrived. My pride was shot to pieces though.

You didn't think of the possibility of an unplanned entree....

Lightning McQueen wrote:I was proudly cooking a lamb roast for my girlfirends family when I was about 20, about an hour or so in it was smelling a little strange, I opened the oven door and had a look and everything seemed to be fine as I chucked in the spuds.
Another half an hour past and the smell was getting very pungent and I began to hit panic mode as something was definetely wrong, I took the everything out and had a look in the oven to find a mouse had been trapped and stuck to the element and the foul odour was him and his fur cooking, it was vial. I was pretty embarassed and quickly changed plans, half an hour later the pizza's arrived. My pride was shot to pieces though.

First Prize! (so far at least! )

I decided to clean the BBQ before me and the beter half used it...

so we bought a new fandangle cleaning utensil and this white chalk lookin block id never seen before.

u rinse the white chalk block in water then scrub the BBQ wich i did then i used the special utensil to go over it.
looked pretty good i was impressed. so i decided to cook all the meat while the lady girl made potatoe bake to go with it.

when meat was almost cooked i decided to taste it.... and it tasted kinda funny
so i had a nother taste n got GF to taste a bit..


the meat was covered in the chalk from the BBQ cleaner.

so i had to chuck all meat out n we had potatoe bake n salad for tea.


was not happy... i spent like $20 on good steaks

Johno6 wrote:I decided to clean the BBQ before me and the beter half used it...

so we bought a new fandangle cleaning utensil and this white chalk lookin block id never seen before.

u rinse the white chalk block in water then scrub the BBQ wich i did then i used the special utensil to go over it.
looked pretty good i was impressed. so i decided to cook all the meat while the lady girl made potatoe bake to go with it.

when meat was almost cooked i decided to taste it.... and it tasted kinda funny
so i had a nother taste n got GF to taste a bit..


the meat was covered in the chalk from the BBQ cleaner.

so i had to chuck all meat out n we had potatoe bake n salad for tea.


was not happy... i spent like $20 on good steaks

you bought 2 steaks?

Johno6 wrote:A mate of mine one night made me some brownies...
i dont know what was wrong with them but i felt really funny after i ate a few....

and then i got even hungrier......

I've chucked a coupla steaks in the fry pan only to discover when it came time to turn then over,

that there was this black plastic thingy stuck to the bottom of the steaks.....

Never Mind, no-one else knows.....

I once left a tray of freshly picked Fly Agaric in the oven (wasn't turned on) for a few days because I forgot about them after being asked to go away for work during the week. The oven was covered in mycelium when I got back.

Quichey wrote:I once left a tray of freshly picked Fly Agaric in the oven (wasn't turned on) for a few days because I forgot about them after being asked to go away for work during the week. The oven was covered in mycelium when I got back.

I hate that......

As a young lad the old microwave/convection oven double act was a regular thing. So this often led to a few hiccups. At home one day I slapped a couple of party pies in the old ov, set it for 10 minutes and proceeded out the backyard to shoot some hoops while I waited. Unknowingly I set it for 10 minutes on micro instead of 10 minutes on convection so after hitting about 9 threes in a row (give or take about 8...) from deep down the back fence I noticed a fair amount of smoke billowing from the kitchen and I realised what had happened.... Took a few weeks to rid the kitchen of 'little black pie' smell...

Also at work one night I cooked my dinner in the oven and then sat down to appreciate the fineness of Macaroni and Cheese and I saw a girl from work head to the oven with her 'microwave safe' container. She popped it in for a bout a minute or 2 and when she opened the door she was horrified to find a lovely melted container thanks to my recent 'oven use'. Seems the container wasn't so 'oven proof'....

When I worked at The Queen Elizabeth Hospital I spent some time on the Emergency Response Team, basically a team of 4 ( and a Security Guard ) who had several duties to do. One of which was have a sound knowledge of the hospital as the MFS would respond to Fire alarms and we would need to, once they were on site, direct them to the alarm that had been set off.

Ultimately the cause would be a nurse who had either burnt toast or placed alfoil in the microwave. As you can imagine the MFS just loved wasting thier time on this sort of thing.

Once when I was sitting on the couch waiting for my dinner that the missus was cooking, my legs felt funny and i thought I had DVT!!

Then I took them off the couch, shook them off and it was just pins and needles.

Luckily dinner arrived and I was able to eat it all without any problems.

Pseudo wrote:

Sucks to be them.