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Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:14 am
by JK
whufc wrote:A young 18 lad I played rugby with and was his boss at work committing suicide last night.

Didn’t see it coming, not even the slightest.


Not good mate, you doing OK? PM if you ever need a chat mate

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 2:06 pm
by The Bedge
whufc wrote:A young 18 lad I played rugby with and was his boss at work committing suicide last night.

Didn’t see it coming, not even the slightest.

Terrible news :(

Guy I play cricket with who has been going through some issues with his wife, I've tried to be a sounding board for him in recent weeks as he struggles to deal with their separation and found out yesterday he had tried to take his own life as well.

Mens Mental Health - it's a serious problem that needs to be talked about and managed more. :(

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 3:00 pm
by Bum Crack
The Bedge wrote:
whufc wrote:A young 18 lad I played rugby with and was his boss at work committing suicide last night.

Didn’t see it coming, not even the slightest.

Terrible news :(

Guy I play cricket with who has been going through some issues with his wife, I've tried to be a sounding board for him in recent weeks as he struggles to deal with their separation and found out yesterday he had tried to take his own life as well.

Mens Mental Health - it's a serious problem that needs to be talked about and managed more. :(

There was a good segment on the Feed last night on SBS at 7.30pm about Men's Mental Health issues. They interviewed a bloke who attempted to hang himself and realised when he kicked the chair away that he had done the wrong thing. Was unable to reach the chair and ended up taking 45 minutes to resuscitate him and he ended up with some brain damage. Geez he spoke well though. Basically said that blokes need to talk about their issues more and once this starts happening, there will be a decrease in suicide rates.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 3:56 pm
by heater31
Bum Crack wrote:
The Bedge wrote:
whufc wrote:A young 18 lad I played rugby with and was his boss at work committing suicide last night.

Didn’t see it coming, not even the slightest.

Terrible news :(

Guy I play cricket with who has been going through some issues with his wife, I've tried to be a sounding board for him in recent weeks as he struggles to deal with their separation and found out yesterday he had tried to take his own life as well.

Mens Mental Health - it's a serious problem that needs to be talked about and managed more. :(

There was a good segment on the Feed last night on SBS at 7.30pm about Men's Mental Health issues. They interviewed a bloke who attempted to hang himself and realised when he kicked the chair away that he had done the wrong thing. Was unable to reach the chair and ended up taking 45 minutes to resuscitate him and he ended up with some brain damage. Geez he spoke well though. Basically said that blokes need to talk about their issues more and once this starts happening, there will be a decrease in suicide rates.
One of my best mates did it in his parents shed 14 years ago. I still think about what I could have done differently. I assume I'm not the only one doing this.

Always make the effort to speak to his 2 brothers when I see them.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 4:31 pm
by HH3
My dad took his life, and looking back, you think what could you have done differently. If anything could have changed it.

At the time, I remember I was having a busy week, and didnt take up his offer of a catch up, and never saw him again.

It's tough, but unless someone tells you whats going on, you can't predict these things. Especially now when everybody seems to have one issue or another.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:30 am
by Failed Creation
I've always been vocal about my struggles, in the hope that others can find the strength to speak up too.

But the stigma still remains; I know there's certain family members and friends who always change the subject when I bring it up.

In my experience, many of those who commit suicide or self-harm choose not to tell anyone before the fact. This could be that they don't want to burden people any more than they feel they are. So many people say that suicide is a selfish act, but those who attempt it are often thinking that their loved ones would be better of without them. Most people don't see this perspective, unless they've been through (or are going through) it.

I've been lucky to have a beautiful wife who understands me, and can often sense what's going on before I know myself. There have been a few posters on here (namely Booney and Valleys07) who have always been there for a chat when I've needed it.

SAFooty is a wonderful community, and there's no shortage of folks around who'd lend an ear if you needed it.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:11 am
by Brodlach
Fabulous words mate.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:23 am
by Dutchy
I went thru a really bad patch last year, thankfully only lasted a week or so, but the darkness that overcame me was really really scary, very hard to describe and I won't attempt to on here.

Just like we need to focus on physical health, mental health needs the same focus.

If you have insta look up "Puka Up" - its run by Wayne Schwass, the odd post pops up in your feed and I find it a great reminder to check on yourself. I have also listened to a few of his podcasts which interview some well known people and are excellent to hear on how others deal with their mental health.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:57 pm
by Booney
Failed Creation wrote:I've always been vocal about my struggles, in the hope that others can find the strength to speak up too.

But the stigma still remains; I know there's certain family members and friends who always change the subject when I bring it up.

In my experience, many of those who commit suicide or self-harm choose not to tell anyone before the fact. This could be that they don't want to burden people any more than they feel they are. So many people say that suicide is a selfish act, but those who attempt it are often thinking that their loved ones would be better of without them. Most people don't see this perspective, unless they've been through (or are going through) it.

I've been lucky to have a beautiful wife who understands me, and can often sense what's going on before I know myself. There have been a few posters on here (namely Booney and Valleys07) who have always been there for a chat when I've needed it.

SAFooty is a wonderful community, and there's no shortage of folks around who'd lend an ear if you needed it.


Any time.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:13 pm
by Lightning McQueen
Arabic.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:18 pm
by valleys07
Failed Creation wrote:I've always been vocal about my struggles, in the hope that others can find the strength to speak up too.

But the stigma still remains; I know there's certain family members and friends who always change the subject when I bring it up.

In my experience, many of those who commit suicide or self-harm choose not to tell anyone before the fact. This could be that they don't want to burden people any more than they feel they are. So many people say that suicide is a selfish act, but those who attempt it are often thinking that their loved ones would be better of without them. Most people don't see this perspective, unless they've been through (or are going through) it.

I've been lucky to have a beautiful wife who understands me, and can often sense what's going on before I know myself. There have been a few posters on here (namely Booney and Valleys07) who have always been there for a chat when I've needed it.

SAFooty is a wonderful community, and there's no shortage of folks around who'd lend an ear if you needed it.


A wonderful post.

At times when having a moment of self doubt or a prolonged period of sadness I have struggled to open up, even after being told by many friends and family that they are a phone call away. It is incredibly hard to explain why - some feel they are a pest, others don't like the feeling they might be judged.

The bolded is exactly why there is still such a major issue surrounding mental health, particularly for men.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:26 pm
by Lightning McQueen
valleys07 wrote:
A wonderful post.

At times when having a moment of self doubt or a prolonged period of sadness I have struggled to open up, even after being told by many friends and family that they are a phone call away. It is incredibly hard to explain why - some feel they are a pest, others don't like the feeling they might be judged.

The bolded is exactly why there is still such a major issue surrounding mental health, particularly for men.

Probably easier in some sense to open up a bit to an avatar, I know when I was at my lowest I felt at more ease writing than what I did talking to friends etc.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:40 pm
by valleys07
Lightning McQueen wrote:
valleys07 wrote:
A wonderful post.

At times when having a moment of self doubt or a prolonged period of sadness I have struggled to open up, even after being told by many friends and family that they are a phone call away. It is incredibly hard to explain why - some feel they are a pest, others don't like the feeling they might be judged.

The bolded is exactly why there is still such a major issue surrounding mental health, particularly for men.

Probably easier in some sense to open up a bit to an avatar, I know when I was at my lowest I felt at more ease writing than what I did talking to friends etc.


Agreed, and that is why social media platforms such as SAFooty and Blokes Advice (a private FB group) are great. Plenty of people open up in times of struggle and both platforms have added an outlet for those who you have just described.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:00 pm
by JK
Mate introduced me to the “Blokes Advice” group on FB recently. Ok, there’s some nork pics getting around and fishing chats etc, but there’s a LOT of blokes on there battling demons, particularly fathers in painful custody battles. Must admit I’ve never read so much support coming from blokes, ever. Any lads on here that could use some support and/or provide it for others should jump onboard and have a look.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:01 pm
by whufc
JK wrote:Mate introduced me to the “Blokes Advice” group on FB recently. Ok, there’s some nork pics getting around and fishing chats etc, but there’s a LOT of blokes on there battling demons, particularly fathers in painful custody battles. Must admit I’ve never read so much support coming from blokes, ever. Any lads on here that could use some support and/or provide it for others should jump onboard and have a look.


Try SA Brothers, its heaps better and more supportive than BA.

SA Brothers is the best group on Facebook. They tolerate the smart arses etc.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:23 am
by Lightning McQueen
Why by 10:20am I've eaten my daily quota of food? I do it all the time, I have no self control.

When I was younger and worked in our factory I'd do a 14 hour shift on afternoon's, I'd take 6 curried egg sanga's in for a 4pm start and eat them all by 5:30pm :lol:

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:46 am
by Pseudo
Lightning McQueen wrote:Why by 10:20am I've eaten my daily quota of food? I do it all the time, I have no self control.

When I was younger and worked in our factory I'd do a 14 hour shift on afternoon's, I'd take 6 curried egg sanga's in for a 4pm start and eat them all by 5:30pm :lol:

I'm guessing that your coworkers wore pegs on their noses?

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:57 am
by Lightning McQueen
Pseudo wrote:I'm guessing that your coworkers wore pegs on their noses?

It was in the factory so it was easy to push the blame.

I don't get the egg thing, they don't have that affect on me, onions on the other hand.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 10:17 am
by Lightning McQueen
The word "shit ton".

It gets thrown around at work a bit, it makes no sense to me.

Re: Things that you don't understand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 11:50 am
by Trader
Lightning McQueen wrote:The word "shit ton".

It gets thrown around at work a bit, it makes no sense to me.


Hopefully this helps:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzAnUzpROzA