Diary of some pregnant blokes

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Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Footy Chick » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:34 pm

With 2 of our finest expecting within a week or so of each other- the next 6 months are going to veeeeery interesting!

Feel free to share (within reason and with permission) the journey with us ;)

Im sure the anecdotes will keep us all amused 8)

Those that have been there and done that, I'm sure Valleys07 will appreciate your words of wisdom 8)
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Booney » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:40 pm

This will be, FANTASTIC.

Tip 1 - Make sure she does her pelvic floor exercises. ( This is done by pretending to hold a wee in ). If you don't get her to do this, for the remainder of your life you will need to be no further than 13 linear metres from a toilet. You will be jaw on the floor stunned at how quickly half a glass of champagne can expedite itself through your significant other.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby woodublieve12 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:43 pm

Booney wrote:This will be, FANTASTIC.

Tip 1 - Make sure she does her pelvic floor exercises. ( This is done by pretending to hold a wee in ). If you don't get her to do this, for the remainder of your life you will need to be no further than 13 linear metres from a toilet. You will be jaw on the floor stunned at how quickly half a glass of champagne can expedite itself through your significant other.

i honestly just laughed out loud...

spot on too
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Booney » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:50 pm

Tip 2 - Do not, I repeat DO NOT at any point comment on how her ankles and calves seem to have merged themselves into one shapeless being. Don't ask why, just don't do it.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Johno6 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:51 pm

Tip 1 (from Johno)

If your missus doesn't feel like having sex, A) Don't force her to. B) Don't do it with someone else.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Booney » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:52 pm

This really should have been Tip 1.

Tip 3 - You are, for all intents and purposes one heartless bastard who simply doesn't understand anything,an idiot. Come to grips* with this, accept it for what it is and your life will be easier.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby woodublieve12 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:56 pm

Chances of getting much sympathy for anything for a very long time is almost at nil... winning an argument - nil....
"Fellas, it’s OK to be in pain. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to be sad. It’s no longer OK to suffer in silence."
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby HH3 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:59 pm

woodublieve12 wrote:Chances of getting much sympathy for anything for a very long time is almost at nil... winning an argument - nil....


This applies to any male when in the company of any female at any time. Not necessarily a pregnant one.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Johno6 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 4:01 pm

HH3 wrote:
woodublieve12 wrote:Chances of getting much sympathy for anything for a very long time is almost at nil... winning an argument - nil....


This applies to any male when in the company of any female at any time. Not necessarily a pregnant one.



was about to say the exact same thing.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby woodublieve12 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 5:37 pm

yeah fair point... lol
"Fellas, it’s OK to be in pain. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to be sad. It’s no longer OK to suffer in silence."
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby scoob » Tue Jan 21, 2014 5:43 pm

bitches be crazy
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby cracka » Tue Jan 21, 2014 6:18 pm

When you go out (or even at home) & the better half is eating up big using the excuse "I'm eating for two", pour yourself another drink & say "that's ok, I'm drinking for two"
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby tigerpie » Tue Jan 21, 2014 10:22 pm

You open your eyes, first thing in the morning, and your HEAVILY pregnant wife is bending over putting on her knickers.
DONT SAY....thats not a sight you want to see first thing in the morning.....out loud!
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby smac » Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:18 am

Focus on the positive.

You've gone to a designated driver locked in for quite some time.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Phantom Gossiper » Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:59 am

Get ready for the hormones and the emotional roller coaster you have to deal with.. then when the baby is born they wont even remember :shock:

In the later months keep a toilet as close by as possibly - geez maybe even go out and buy a potty! :lol:

When the baby is born, encourage and stay positive especially if things like breast feeding are taking a while to come in, PND is a big thing and not enjoyable - for either party.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby woodublieve12 » Wed Jan 22, 2014 8:06 am

ANd whatever you do, DO NOT say you'll be at the footy (either playing or coaching) and not the birth if it falls on a saturday even if you're joking... Apparently they don't see the funny side of it!!
"Fellas, it’s OK to be in pain. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to be sad. It’s no longer OK to suffer in silence."
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Booney » Wed Jan 22, 2014 9:09 am

If you say "You're looking good today babe" it would most likely be interpreted as you saying she looked like a hippopotamus yesterday.

If a complete stranger, most likely someone serving you at a baby goods store ( LMAO - good luck in those joints!! ) says "You're looking good today" it will be seen as an amazing compliment, that you, you bastard, never offer.
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby MatteeG » Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:04 am

Booney wrote:If you say "You're looking good today babe" it would most likely be interpreted as you saying she looked like a hippopotamus yesterday.

If a complete stranger, most likely someone serving you at a baby goods store ( LMAO - good luck in those joints!! ) says "You're looking good today" it will be seen as an amazing compliment, that you, you bastard, never offer.


Similarly, only other women get away with saying she is 'glowing'...
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby Booney » Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:11 am

Yes, glowing from a woman = glowing.

Glowing from you = fat
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Re: Diary of some pregnant blokes

Postby HH3 » Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:19 am

I have to admit, i did make a fat joke to a pregnant womans face once. I thought I was being cheeky, and we would all laugh....nope...
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