Fisho's Frolics

[Media Park]

Oh dear...

[heater31]

Do we get a corrected version after you sober up tomorrow

[fisho mcspaz]

AT the moment i anm not sure what sort of a cversion you will get because i do not see m,yself sobering up any tuime soon. i have bneen quite good untl today but now i am hjust cutting sixk and ive drunk 3 goddamn bottles of wine. So i dontk now what is going to happen BUT it will be fun i am sthinking i will go across to the farm nextg door aND RIDE THE COW.

you can ride cows cant you

[Media Park]

Only if you push it over once you are done...

[spell_check]

"You see, thing about our family is, there are five of us - Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one that doesn't talk, and the fat guy...how I loathe him!"

[fisho mcspaz]

You cannot ride cows. This I now know for certtain.

[spell_check]

You cannot ride cows. This I now know for certtain.

Did you find out the hard way?

[Columbo]

You cannot ride cows. This I now know for certtain.

Sounds like a missing line from that wear sunscreen song by Baz Lurmann

[Media Park]

You cannot ride cows. This I now know for certtain.

I do consider statements like that a challenge...

[fisho mcspaz]

Oh no...

OK, just to clarify, I did not try to ride the cow. I took one look at it over the fence and it was ginormous. There is no way anyone could ride it. And I didn't drink the three bottles of wine on my own - I had help. Two glasses knocks me over these days. Anyway, I'm just glad that Grand Final Day only comes once a year (or does it? ).

[Psyber]

I've never tried to ride a cow, or a bull, but I have ridden a large bull Camel, and a 17.5 hand horse.
Size is not the determiner.

[the big bang]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......... stupid grand final.

I am not an anti-collngwood person But I was rteally hoping for saints to win so camera would zoom in in on eddie mcguire cryging.

OH WELL nex5t week i will be cheerign gon the eaGE,LLSE in their grnand final so i couldnt five a S** ho wins out of the afl grand ifnal.

wow fisho. just.........wow.

i'm not even angry. i'm impressed.

[Media Park]

You ate the... whole wheel of cheese?

[fisho mcspaz]

What cheese? Did I say something about cheese? I don't remember this at all. We haven't got any cheese wheels in the house. Well - we do have an inflatable one but I'm quite sure I didn't eat it.

[Media Park]

TBB: I'm not even angry, I'm impressed!
MP: You ate the... whole wheel of cheese?

Ron Burgundy in; Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (talking to Baxter)

"You ate the... whole wheel of cheese? I'm not even angry, I'm impressed."

[the big bang]

yeh, get with it Fisho!!!!

geez.......

[fisho mcspaz]

crap I love that movie too, I'm a stupids!

[the big bang]

crap I love that movie too, I'm a stupids!

Wanna go do karate in the garage?

[fisho mcspaz]

The clown has no penis!


************************************

OK, this is probably going to end up being very serious and boring (i. e. CRAP) but this is my thread and I'll do what I want.

Um... now I don't really know what to say. I know what I'm gunna talk about, I just don't quite know how to approach it. This is very hard.

Not trying to be - f***, don't even know what the word for it is - but here's an example. I have a mate who, when we were in high school, nicked a handsaw from the tech wing and proceeded to scratch her wrists quite blatantly and obviously in the classroom. 'I'm going to kill myself! Someone stop me!' she wailed. (We didn't. ) Yeah, anyway, that's not me and that's not what I'm aiming at here. The trouble is, I'm not going to get anywhere unless I'm honest about this stuff, and I guess this is the best place for it - can't get much more confronting than a lot of people reading it.

Two things.

1. I have several mental health conditions: depression, generalised anxiety disorder (health anxiety mainly) and panic disorder. I've had the depression since I was fifteen and the anxiety stuff since last year.

2. I have a drinking problem.

Now that I've written this, I so do not want to press the 'submit' button once I'm finished. I'm not really embarrassed, just ashamed that these things are true.

Anyway, I want to do something about it all. I have been undergoing therapy with a psychologist and I take an SSRI for the mental stuff, and I've attempted several times to stop drinking completely. I don't think I'm an alcoholic - I don't want to drink all the time, it's more that when I have one I'll end up having four. And when I'm stressed - which is often - it is very easy to use the drink as a crutch. It feels so much better when I'm half-pissed and lucid.

Last night I talked about this, a little bit, with Mr McSpaz and we agreed to both go on the wagon. I'm glad that we had that conversation because I think it will be easier to do this with support. It just doesn't work with one of us being on the piss and the other one sitting there glaring while the drinking one walks around the room on their hands giggling.

As for the mental stuff, the main thing for me at the moment is the anxiety - it's constant. I might not be freaking out, but I've got a continual low level of fear every time I have a headache or feel tired. I'm afraid of migraines. I know that's stupid but I just hate how debilitating they are - I can't see straight, I'm in pain, I'm dizzy, and when I drive a car I can't read the road signs properly. And this goes on for days. Haha, listen to me whinging about it. That's the worst of it - because I am feeling so bloody negative at the moment, I'm feeling more depressed. I don't know how I can break the cycle. I know strategies to deal with depression, and I know strategies to deal with anxiety, but I don't know how to deal with both at once. At least writing about this has somehow alleviated the worst of it, so now I might have a crack at some yoga positions to relax (no handstands tonight though).

Anyway, I am SO SORRY for writing about this stuff. It seems like such a self-indulgent thing to do. I don't know. And frightening. (But not as frightening as when a giant moth flies at you. So at least that puts it in perspective somewhat.) Thanks for reading if you got this far.

[Q.]

Don't feel ashamed, you wouldn't be the first and won't be the last.

Did you get migraines before or after you started taking SSRIs?