The human body has 7 trillion nerves.
My wife manages to get on every ******* one of them!
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My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb,
so I drew a cock on it!!
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My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate.
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock.
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I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message
claiming that she loves anal..
Dyslexic bitch , it turns out that she love Alan, my best mate.......
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A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and
suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you silly prick !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
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Love is like a fart.
If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
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Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a
skank.
Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
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Life is like a penis.
Soft and hanging freely.
It's women that make it hard
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what ******* hit it.
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The wife and I were lying in bed this morning when she said, "I think the
romance in this relationship is dead"
I wish she wouldn't talk to me while I'm having a wank.
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I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says
she doesn't like it.
She says that it makes her sleepy and her bum sore.
Good Movies
Re: Good Movies
by locky801 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 8:55 am
You cant change your past but you can sure hell shape you future
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Re: Good Movies
by The Sleeping Giant » Mon Jan 20, 2014 4:47 pm
Inside Llewyn Davis
More Coen brothers gold.
More Coen brothers gold.
Cannabis is safer than alcohol
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Re: Good Movies
by woodublieve12 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:29 pm
Saving Mr Banks.... BRILLIANT film... Saw it gold class for free, even better...
5 stars
5 stars
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Re: Good Movies
by Johno6 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:53 pm
Gonna watch Pain and Gain, White house down over next few days. Ive heard they are good, but I have my doubts
Anyone seen them?
Anyone seen them?
R.I.P Mum 28/02/12
Asterix Users - Squibs
Asterix Users - Squibs
Re: Good Movies
by RustyCage » Tue Jan 21, 2014 4:22 pm
White House Down has it's good moments, just the whole plot is a bit questionable/unrealistic, and some of the action scenes were pretty comical
I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run
Re: Good Movies
by The Sleeping Giant » Tue Jan 21, 2014 4:56 pm
Dallas Buyers Club
Cannabis is safer than alcohol
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Re: Good Movies
by Mic » Tue Jan 21, 2014 9:19 pm
The Sleeping Giant wrote:Inside Llewyn Davis
More Coen brothers gold.
Just watched it. Didn't like it.
Re: Good Movies
by The Sleeping Giant » Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:11 pm
Not everyone's cup of tea.
Cannabis is safer than alcohol
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Re: Good Movies
by mighty_tiger_79 » Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:50 am
Johno6 wrote:Gonna watch Pain and Gain, White house down over next few days. Ive heard they are good, but I have my doubts
Anyone seen them?
Pain and gain
You must watch
Its so compelling because its based on a true story
Matty Wade is a star and deserves more respect from the forum family!
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Re: Good Movies
by woodublieve12 » Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:52 am
mighty_tiger_79 wrote:Johno6 wrote:Gonna watch Pain and Gain, White house down over next few days. Ive heard they are good, but I have my doubts
Anyone seen them?
Pain and gain
You must watch
Its so compelling because its based on a true story
good film... dumbest criminals ever...
"Fellas, it’s OK to be in pain. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to be sad. It’s no longer OK to suffer in silence."
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Re: Good Movies
by woodublieve12 » Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:53 am
watched 'wolf of wall street' last night... Didn't realise it was a true story. Pretty good film. LONG film
"Fellas, it’s OK to be in pain. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to be sad. It’s no longer OK to suffer in silence."
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Re: Good Movies
by JK » Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:08 am
Yep, just finished this one too, pretty easy to watch.
Great scene when Leo and Jonah Hill pop the 15 year old Quaaludes!
Great scene when Leo and Jonah Hill pop the 15 year old Quaaludes!
FUSC
Re: Good Movies
by woodublieve12 » Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:15 am
JK wrote:Yep, just finished this one too, pretty easy to watch.
Great scene when Leo and Jonah Hill pop the 15 year old Quaaludes!
that was the funniest bit..."Fellas, it’s OK to be in pain. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to be sad. It’s no longer OK to suffer in silence."
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Re: Good Movies
by OnSong » Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:39 pm
RustyCage wrote:White House Down has it's good moments, just the whole plot is a bit questionable/unrealistic, and some of the action scenes were pretty comical
Do yourself a treat and watch White House Down and Olympus Has Fallen in the same day. Almost identical movies.
Right in front of me. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
Re: Good Movies
by Magpiespower » Fri Jan 24, 2014 4:13 pm
The Wolf of Wall Street
"Wall Street Goodfellas" is good but no "Goodfellas."
A bit long and I could've done with more FBI and less excess but the screen craft in every single scene was just amazing.
Margot Robbie never looked that hot on Neighbours. Memo to producers: more nudity on Ramsay Street.
One bit I absolutely hated: piece of s#!t Jordan Belfort's cameo.
Gilbert Grape's brother was awesome in that cameo.
The earlier Lude scene when Jonah Hill rips one off in the middle of the party - and his cousin wife beat the s#!t out of him - had me in tears...
"Wall Street Goodfellas" is good but no "Goodfellas."
A bit long and I could've done with more FBI and less excess but the screen craft in every single scene was just amazing.
Margot Robbie never looked that hot on Neighbours. Memo to producers: more nudity on Ramsay Street.
One bit I absolutely hated: piece of s#!t Jordan Belfort's cameo.
JK wrote:Great scene when Leo and Jonah Hill pop the 15 year old Quaaludes!
Gilbert Grape's brother was awesome in that cameo.
woodublieve12 wrote:
The earlier Lude scene when Jonah Hill rips one off in the middle of the party - and his cousin wife beat the s#!t out of him - had me in tears...
Everyone can eat s#!t! A big bag of s#!t! I'm the greatest man in the world!
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Re: Good Movies
by JK » Fri Jan 24, 2014 6:11 pm
Magpiespower wrote:
The earlier Lude scene when Jonah Hill rips one off in the middle of the party - and his cousin wife beat the s#!t out of him - had me in tears...
LMFAO .. I remembered that bit today and pissed myself laughing. Funny as!!
FUSC
Re: Good Movies
by wristwatcher » Sat Jan 25, 2014 12:37 am
Just watched We're the Millers. Funny stuff. It's on DVD now and deff worth a look.
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Re: Good Movies
by Mic » Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:45 am
The Sleeping Giant wrote:Dallas Buyers Club
Just watched it, thought it was good too.
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