Things that make you laugh

Anything!

Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Mythical Creature » Thu May 14, 2015 12:18 pm

Lightning McQueen wrote:
Mythical Creature wrote:
Footy Chick wrote:
Dogwatcher wrote:Soooo...you're the semen expert, FC.
Brilliant.
You know that's going to get some good use.


hardly an expert - I'm sure others here with more experience than me.


Im not going to call myself an expert, however when I was at Uni I would work weekends and holidays at SABOR near Clare. This is a place that doesn't collect Bull Semen however it does collect Pig Semen. My job during "collection" time was to bring in the boars from a list of pre-orders (each pig had a number) and take them into the "collection" room. I would then get the next one on the list and put it in a holding pen next to the room and wait for the Boar to finish* and take it back and repeat the cycle. There were 2 collection rooms so it was reasonably busy.

Basically, they had a plastic Sow which the Boar would mount and there would be another guy in the room who would help the Boar shoot it into a filtered container. The guy had to grab the pig dick and squeeze tight for about 10 minutes until the pig had finished. If anyone has seen a pig dick you would know that it is kind of like a screw*. Apparently a trick to make it more comfortable was to use your left hand as the dick was "left hand thread". I was asked if I wanted to give this a try which I refused. I was happy just transporting the pigs to and from their pens.

There were about 150 Boars at this place, however some were used more than others, depending on the farmers preference and bloodlines etc.

On weekends all I had to do was clean out their pens each day. Would take around 4 or 5 hours each day and could do it at whatever time I wanted to as long as it got done. So Saturdays I would do it first thing and on Sundays whenever I felt like it. For the weekend work I got $41 an hour to clean shit which in 2001 for a Uni student was and probably still is pretty good coin.


Were there magazines there with pictures of naked pigs in them too?


Na, but when they had finished they had a relaxed look on their faces!
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Booney » Thu May 14, 2015 12:37 pm

Lightning McQueen wrote:
Mythical Creature wrote:
Footy Chick wrote:
Dogwatcher wrote:Soooo...you're the semen expert, FC.
Brilliant.
You know that's going to get some good use.


hardly an expert - I'm sure others here with more experience than me.


Im not going to call myself an expert, however when I was at Uni I would work weekends and holidays at SABOR near Clare. This is a place that doesn't collect Bull Semen however it does collect Pig Semen. My job during "collection" time was to bring in the boars from a list of pre-orders (each pig had a number) and take them into the "collection" room. I would then get the next one on the list and put it in a holding pen next to the room and wait for the Boar to finish* and take it back and repeat the cycle. There were 2 collection rooms so it was reasonably busy.

Basically, they had a plastic Sow which the Boar would mount and there would be another guy in the room who would help the Boar shoot it into a filtered container. The guy had to grab the pig dick and squeeze tight for about 10 minutes until the pig had finished. If anyone has seen a pig dick you would know that it is kind of like a screw*. Apparently a trick to make it more comfortable was to use your left hand as the dick was "left hand thread". I was asked if I wanted to give this a try which I refused. I was happy just transporting the pigs to and from their pens.

There were about 150 Boars at this place, however some were used more than others, depending on the farmers preference and bloodlines etc.

On weekends all I had to do was clean out their pens each day. Would take around 4 or 5 hours each day and could do it at whatever time I wanted to as long as it got done. So Saturdays I would do it first thing and on Sundays whenever I felt like it. For the weekend work I got $41 an hour to clean shit which in 2001 for a Uni student was and probably still is pretty good coin.


Were there magazines there with pictures of naked pigs in them too?


No, but the weird ones wanted to watch people doing it.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Pseudo » Thu May 14, 2015 2:13 pm

Mythical Creature wrote:Basically, they had a plastic Sow which the Boar would mount and there would be another guy in the room who would help the Boar shoot it into a filtered container. The guy had to grab the pig dick and squeeze tight for about 10 minutes until the pig had finished. If anyone has seen a pig dick you would know that it is kind of like a screw*. Apparently a trick to make it more comfortable was to use your left hand as the dick was "left hand thread". I was asked if I wanted to give this a try which I refused.

"I'd love to have a go, but I think I'd have trouble mounting the sow"
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby am Bays » Thu May 14, 2015 2:34 pm

Pseudo wrote:
Mythical Creature wrote:Basically, they had a plastic Sow which the Boar would mount and there would be another guy in the room who would help the Boar shoot it into a filtered container. The guy had to grab the pig dick and squeeze tight for about 10 minutes until the pig had finished. If anyone has seen a pig dick you would know that it is kind of like a screw*. Apparently a trick to make it more comfortable was to use your left hand as the dick was "left hand thread". I was asked if I wanted to give this a try which I refused.

"I'd love to have a go, but I think I'd have trouble mounting the sow"


If we are brutally honest we all would've mounted the odd sow in the past, on reflection.....

*shudder*
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby JK » Thu May 14, 2015 2:50 pm

am Bays wrote:
Pseudo wrote:
Mythical Creature wrote:Basically, they had a plastic Sow which the Boar would mount and there would be another guy in the room who would help the Boar shoot it into a filtered container. The guy had to grab the pig dick and squeeze tight for about 10 minutes until the pig had finished. If anyone has seen a pig dick you would know that it is kind of like a screw*. Apparently a trick to make it more comfortable was to use your left hand as the dick was "left hand thread". I was asked if I wanted to give this a try which I refused.

"I'd love to have a go, but I think I'd have trouble mounting the sow"


If we are brutally honest we all would've mounted the odd sow in the past, on reflection.....

*shudder*


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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Lightning McQueen » Thu May 14, 2015 2:58 pm

am Bays wrote:
Pseudo wrote:
Mythical Creature wrote:Basically, they had a plastic Sow which the Boar would mount and there would be another guy in the room who would help the Boar shoot it into a filtered container. The guy had to grab the pig dick and squeeze tight for about 10 minutes until the pig had finished. If anyone has seen a pig dick you would know that it is kind of like a screw*. Apparently a trick to make it more comfortable was to use your left hand as the dick was "left hand thread". I was asked if I wanted to give this a try which I refused.

"I'd love to have a go, but I think I'd have trouble mounting the sow"


If we are brutally honest we all would've mounted the odd sow in the past, on reflection.....

*shudder*

We used to all put in $10 and whoever picked up the the most horrid wildebeest won the kitty!
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Failed Creation » Thu May 14, 2015 2:59 pm

Lightning McQueen wrote:
am Bays wrote:
Pseudo wrote:
Mythical Creature wrote:Basically, they had a plastic Sow which the Boar would mount and there would be another guy in the room who would help the Boar shoot it into a filtered container. The guy had to grab the pig dick and squeeze tight for about 10 minutes until the pig had finished. If anyone has seen a pig dick you would know that it is kind of like a screw*. Apparently a trick to make it more comfortable was to use your left hand as the dick was "left hand thread". I was asked if I wanted to give this a try which I refused.

"I'd love to have a go, but I think I'd have trouble mounting the sow"


If we are brutally honest we all would've mounted the odd sow in the past, on reflection.....

*shudder*

We used to all put in $10 and whoever picked up the the most horrid wildebeest won the kitty!


I used to do it for nothing... :?
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby mighty_tiger_79 » Thu May 14, 2015 3:11 pm

:shock: sick puppy, doing it for nothing!

:lol:
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Failed Creation » Thu May 14, 2015 3:23 pm

mighty_tiger_79 wrote::shock: sick puppy, doing it for nothing!

:lol:


I was all about quantity, not quality...
Politicians kissing babies for good luck,
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby RustyCage » Thu May 14, 2015 4:28 pm

Driving home last night listening to Triple M, hear Jars make a comment where it sounded like he swore a few times, but thought to myself as I was concentrating on the road "Did I just hear that?"

As it turns out yes, Jars suspended today!
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Footy Chick » Thu May 14, 2015 4:34 pm

yeah, WADH
Don't play games with a girl who can play 'em better...

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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Arch44 » Thu May 14, 2015 5:03 pm

RustyCage wrote:Driving home last night listening to Triple M, hear Jars make a comment where it sounded like he swore a few times, but thought to myself as I was concentrating on the road "Did I just hear that?"

As it turns out yes, Jars suspended today!


:lol: Same with me. I was turning on to the port river expressway in disbelief.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby The Bedge » Thu May 14, 2015 5:09 pm

Dont know if this makes me laugh or gives me the sh*ts...

Just got an email from a business analyst at work "I’ve contacted xxx from Toll to obtain the con-note but she has been unable to locate it – is this because this was from DHL Express and not Toll?" :shock:
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Booney » Thu May 14, 2015 5:26 pm

RustyCage wrote:Driving home last night listening to Triple M, hear Jars make a comment where it sounded like he swore a few times, but thought to myself as I was concentrating on the road "Did I just hear that?"

As it turns out yes, Jars suspended today!


What did he say?*
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Thu May 14, 2015 5:28 pm

Booney wrote:
RustyCage wrote:Driving home last night listening to Triple M, hear Jars make a comment where it sounded like he swore a few times, but thought to myself as I was concentrating on the road "Did I just hear that?"

As it turns out yes, Jars suspended today!


What did he say?*


Just f*** the guts out of ‘em with your big c**k”


Referring to Dom Cassissi and his missus, trying to bring their childs birth on. Technically hes correct. Just unfortunate a producer didnt edit it out of the prerecorded segment.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby carey » Sat May 16, 2015 4:05 am

Mathew Jenecsh
Matthew Wright

Spuds
you've gota keep on keep'n on .........
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby The Ash Man » Sun May 17, 2015 4:24 pm

Failed Creation wrote:
mighty_tiger_79 wrote::shock: sick puppy, doing it for nothing!

:lol:


I was all about quantity, not quality...


My uncle used to say this about any alcoholic beverage
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby fisho mcspaz » Sun May 17, 2015 7:43 pm

When people seeking attention on Facebook with cryptic statuses get called out for seeking attention. 8)
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Failed Creation » Mon May 18, 2015 1:55 pm

Politicians kissing babies for good luck,
TV preachers sell salvation for a buck.
You don't need no golden cross to tell you wrong from right,
The world's worst murderers were those who saw the light.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby PatowalongaPirate » Mon May 18, 2015 6:23 pm

Tarps.jpeg
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