Things that give you the sh1ts

[fisho mcspaz]

My son's stepmother opening the back door for five seconds to let the cat in while she was smoking a cigarette and now the house smells like my gran's. (Gran has smoked heavily in her house for the last 65 years.)

Air freshener/deodoriser handy?

Didn't spray it because I thought it might make her embarrassed, but in hindsight I should just have done it.

[Coach Bombay]

How's all the spuds paying $350 to go to the Hillsong conference to listen to preaching Christian kiddy fiddlers! Someone drop a bomb FFS

[RustyCage]

But you're not giving money to them, you're giving it to God.... apparently

[fisho mcspaz]

My eldest son's father ringing up child support and telling them that he can't afford to pay $25 a month so could they exempt him from the fixed-rate assessment. They agreed (I imagine that, being a subcontractor, he was able to show that he earned bugger-all by claiming all his profits went back into his business - although I'm pretty sure if you can afford a new Dodge Charger you can't be doing too badly for yourself) and now he only has to pay $10 a month or something. Now, whether it's $10 or $25 matters nothing to me. I don't want his money and $25 a month isn't going to make a damn bit of difference anyway; we've always looked after my son without needing child support from his father. What s***s me is that I've rung up child support myself and told them I don't care about the money, please can you tell Sir Twitbeard he can stop paying his monthly pittance - and they won't do it. They said he's required by law to pay child support, even if it is a pissweak $10 a month. Moreover, they told me that I owe HIM money, as they've backdated his lower-rate assessment to the start of the year. Meanwhile, this bloke goes around with a World's Greatest Dad cap on his stupid fat head.

[Lightning McQueen]

I've paid over $85K over the past 17 years to a hoe that turned out to be a closet alcoholic schizophrenic who tried to cut my balls off in one fit of rage, smashed an aftershave bottle over my head while I was asleep, cracked me over the head with a beer stein while I wasn't looking and stabbed me in the face and arm with a fork.
I took her to court 3 times to try and see my kid but she never showed up on all 3 occasions which cost me over $10K in legal fees, only to get nowhere with it, we only seen each other for a few months and I was later informed she only wanted to to go out with me to fall pregnant so she wouldn't have to work.
Love is grand.

The system has it's flaws.

[Booney]

Tell them you have no problem paying him back. Your offer is to pay $10 per month.

[fisho mcspaz]

I've paid over $85K over the past 17 years to a hoe that turned out to be a closet alcoholic schizophrenic who tried to cut my balls off in one fit of rage, smashed an aftershave bottle over my head while I was asleep, cracked me over the head with a beer stein while I wasn't looking and stabbed me in the face and arm with a fork.
I took her to court 3 times to try and see my kid but she never showed up on all 3 occasions which cost me over $10K in legal fees, only to get nowhere with it, we only seen each other for a few months and I was later informed she only wanted to to go out with me to fall pregnant so she wouldn't have to work.
Love is grand.

The system has it's flaws.

It's crazy hey!! My friend's partner has paid a fortune to his ex, whose kids didn't even live with her at the time - she kept the money while the kids lived with their grandmother. My ex gets around the system because he lives in the US, and the agency is really limited in what information they can access. I could probably get a decent sum out of him if I turned him over to the US child support authorities - they'll repo your house and furniture if you don't pay up - but I'm over it. I did get one good moment of satisfaction when he turned up in Australia with his new wife and was apprehended by child support at the airport, while wearing his World's Greatest Dad cap, and they took $800 off him right then and there. I don't know how they knew he would be there - maybe they've set up an alert for Immigration to notify them whenever he comes in - but he hasn't set foot in Australia since. He sends his wife instead to pick up our son for his annual visit.

[bennymacca]

Mrs went to KFC as we cbf making dinner.

She gets home and both our meals were completely different to what we ordered, and when asked for a receipt she said nah don't worry about it.

She is back there now see how it goes.

I'm hungry ffs

[bennymacca]

Crisis averted, wifey has returned with the correct order, they gave our order to a different car

[Jim05]

Mrs went to KFC as we cbf making dinner.

She gets home and both our meals were completely different to what we ordered, and when asked for a receipt she said nah don't worry about it.

She is back there now see how it goes.

I'm hungry ffs

Gawler KFC?
If so therein lies the problem, most incompetant store going around. We dont even bother going there anymore

[Brodlach]

Surely you got to keep both orders, hmmm breakfast

[bennymacca]

Mrs went to KFC as we cbf making dinner.

She gets home and both our meals were completely different to what we ordered, and when asked for a receipt she said nah don't worry about it.

She is back there now see how it goes.

I'm hungry ffs

Gawler KFC?
If so therein lies the problem, most incompetant store going around. We dont even bother going there anymore

Well I'm not driving anywhere else just for kfc

[bennymacca]

Surely you got to keep both orders, hmmm breakfast

Damn didn't think of that. No kfc brekky

[Brodlach]

Mrs went to KFC as we cbf making dinner.

She gets home and both our meals were completely different to what we ordered, and when asked for a receipt she said nah don't worry about it.

She is back there now see how it goes.

I'm hungry ffs

Gawler KFC?
If so therein lies the problem, most incompetant store going around. We dont even bother going there anymore

Well I'm not sending the missus out driving anywhere else just for kfc

Edited for accuracy

[bennymacca]

Hehe. Usually I go but I just spent half an hour giving her a back massage so it was definitely her turn

[cracka]

Mrs went to KFC as we cbf making dinner.

She gets home and both our meals were completely different to what we ordered, and when asked for a receipt she said nah don't worry about it.

She is back there now see how it goes.

I'm hungry ffs

Gawler KFC?
If so therein lies the problem, most incompetant store going around. We dont even bother going there anymore

I've never been to the Gawler KFC but I reckon Victor Harbor would challenge it for that title

[Jim05]

Mrs went to KFC as we cbf making dinner.

She gets home and both our meals were completely different to what we ordered, and when asked for a receipt she said nah don't worry about it.

She is back there now see how it goes.

I'm hungry ffs

Gawler KFC?
If so therein lies the problem, most incompetant store going around. We dont even bother going there anymore

I've never been to the Gawler KFC but I reckon Victor Harbor would challenge it for that title

A regular occurance to be offered crispy strips as they have "ran out of chicken" and would be a wait, no matter what time of day/night. Had to always check contents before leaving as it was more than often the wrong order and the last lot we got had more oil than Saudi Arabia and was disgusting. Black banned the place about 8 months ago

[fisho mcspaz]

When Channel 7 shows a slow motion replay of Novak Djokovic sliding

[Q.]

Easily avoided mistakes that ruin the hard work of so many people.

[Lightning McQueen]

Mrs went to KFC as we cbf making dinner.

She gets home and both our meals were completely different to what we ordered, and when asked for a receipt she said nah don't worry about it.

She is back there now see how it goes.

I'm hungry ffs

Gotta teach her to look in the bag and do a quick stocktake before moving.