2015 Ashes

[kneedeepinthehoopla]

Win by an innings and a bit.
The romantic in me wishes they set us 20 to get in the second dig and pup and Rogers opened to get em.
Been a frustrating series. If we'd just showed some gumption in our 2nd innings in the first test and survived until the rain, one wonders if the tour would've panned out differently.

[wristwatcher]

Siddle or Smith for Man of Match for mine

[helicopterking]

Win by an innings and a bit.
The romantic in me wishes they set us 20 to get in the second dig and pup and Rogers opened to get em.
Been a frustrating series. If we'd just showed some gumption in our 2nd innings in the first test and survived until the rain, one wonders if the tour would've panned out differently.

If Brad Haddin didn't drop Root on his 2nd ball of the first test, definently would have been different.

[RustyCage]

Was the most one sided 3-2 series you could imagine. Each Test was an absolute belting

[whufc]

Was the most one sided 3-2 series you could imagine. Each Test was an absolute belting

Yeah in 30 years time when people read 3-2 England they may think this was one of the Classic Ashes.

Unfortunately it was far from it, each test was completely one sided and generally over by day 1 or 2 at latest

[Booney]

From an old pommy mate :

The antipodean quipsters are alive and well.

Q. What’s the difference between the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Aussie cricket team
A. Not everyone has walked over the harbour bridge

Q. What’s the difference between Cinderella and an Australian cricketer
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball

Q. What do you call a world class Australian cricketer
A. Retired.

Q. What do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube?
A. Laughing stock.

Q. What’s the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
A. A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.

Q. What’s the difference between an Aussie batsman and a formula one car?
A. Nothing. If you blink you’ll miss them both.

Q. What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q. What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A. The entire Australian innings.

Q. What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A. A vacant lot.

Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease?
A. The woman who irons the Australian team’s cricket whites.

Q. Why don’t Aussie fielders need travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What is the most proficient footwork displayed by Australian batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. What is the definition of optimism?
A. An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen before going out to bat.

Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.


Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. What do you call an Australian who can handle a bat….
A. A vet

Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.

Q. What’s the difference between Michael Clarke and a phoenix?
A. At the end of the ashes, the phoenix still has a future.


A bloke walks into a brothel and says: “I’m a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?”
The madam replies £60.
“Wow, what do I get for that,” he says.
She says: “A baggy green cap and an Australia shirt.


The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricketers for a meeting. They want to know how they went downhill so fast.

[Gozu]

Series stats

Australia

Batting

Smith-508 runs @ 56.44
Rogers-480 runs @ 60
Warner-418 runs @ 46.44
Voges-201 runs @ 28.71
Starc-157 runs @ 22.42
Nevill-143 runs @ 23.83
Johnson-141 runs @ 17.62
Clarke-132 runs @ 16.50
Watson-49 runs @ 24.50
M. Marsh-48 runs @ 12
Lyon-47 runs @ 11.75
Hazlewood-45 runs @ 15
Haddin-29 runs @ 14.50
S. Marsh-2 runs @ 1
Siddle-1 run @ 1

Bowling

Starc-18wk @ 30.50
Hazlewood-16wk @ 25.75
Lyon-16wk @ 28.25
Johnson-15wk @ 34.93
M. Marsh-8wk @ 18.62
Siddle-6wk @ 11.16
Smith-1wk @ 16
Warner-0/27
Watson-0/47

England

Batting

Root-460 runs @ 57.50
Cook-330 runs @ 36.66
Ali-293 runs @ 36.62
Bell-215 runs @ 26.87
Stokes-201 runs @ 25.12
Broad-134 runs @ 19.14
Buttler-122 runs @ 15.25
Bairstow-118 runs @ 29.50
Lyth-115 runs @ 12.77
Wood-103 runs @ 25.75
Ballance-98 runs @ 24.50
Anderson-11 runs @ 2.75
Finn-9 runs @ N/A

Bowling

Broad-21wk @ 20.90
Finn-12wk @ 22.50
Ali-12wk @ 45.50
Stokes-11wk @ 33.45
Anderson-10wk @ 27.50
Wood-10wk @ 39.10
Root-4wk @ 33.75
Lyth-0/0

[Ron Burgundy]

If you showed me those stats without knowing the results, and asked me who i thought had won the series, id say Australia.

Similar to last time we were in England really. When we have a bad session, we make sure it is real bad.

[batmanbegins]

Broad should of been man of the series, his first 4 tests were first class and the major difference in the two sides. He comes across as knob but he can sure bowl! MJ had a bit of a shocker of a series going by those stats, was surprised by that didnt think he bowled that badly.

[Rik E Boy]

Broad should of been man of the series, his first 4 tests were first class and the major difference in the two sides. He comes across as knob but he can sure bowl! MJ had a bit of a shocker of a series going by those stats, was surprised by that didnt think he bowled that badly.

34 is a piss poor average for our main strike bowler in favourable bowling conditions. In retrospect, he needed the support of Siddle and our attack was too green.

regards,

REB

[Booney]

3 of the top 4 run makers, 4 of the top 5 wicket takers. And we blew it....

[Rik E Boy]

3 of the top 4 run makers, 4 of the top 5 wicket takers. And we blew it....

This was the second worst Ashes effort I've witnessed, perhaps the third at best.

Worst 1978-79. Flogged 5-1 at home without our WSC boys while they all lined up for the Poms 'Lambs to the slaughter'.
Second Worst....maybe 1986/87. Australia going through a lean patch but England equally bad. Thrashed in Brisbane and knocked over on Boxing Day I think it was in Melbourne. Diabolical.

Then this. Getting out for 60! Did anyone see that shirt that kid had on during the fifth test? It had the ball by ball description of the entire innings. And it fitted on there! ACK.

Shambolic stuff and heads should roll, even Boofs.

regards,

REB

[Brodlach]

Shane Watson announced his retirement from test cricket, he wants to review his own decision.

[heater31]

Shane Watson announced his retirement from test cricket, he wants to review his own decision.

http://www.cricket.com.au/news/shane-watson-announces-test-match-retirement-australia-cricket-allrounder/2015-09-06

[The Dark Knight]

So he finally decided to cancel his golden ticket.

I love Watson in the Coloured clothing and he should be a part of the one day set up for as long as possible but in the whites he is the most frustrating cricketer you could imagine. Had so many chances to prove himself over the years yet never really delivered what he should of with the amount of test cricket he played. All the blame can't go to him though because the selectors wanted to play an allrounder for the sake of having an allrounder and Watson has been the best one in the country for quite some time.

His attitude annoyed me the most, he seems like a real arrogant and sooking cockhead

[Gozu]

The squad for the Bangladesh tour is probably about to be named and Watto wanted to get in first before they had any ideas of picking him.

[Gozu]

His attitude annoyed me the most, he seems like a real arrogant and sooking cockhead

I had a good laugh last night when he got out that look he and Stokes gave each other said a million words.

[Lightning McQueen]

Shane Watson announced his retirement from test cricket, he wants to review his own decision.

Its' good when players retire at the top of their game.

[mighty_tiger_79]

Brad Haddin retires from First Class cricket

[bennymacca]

Brad Haddin retires from First Class cricket

Great career. We have had some cracking glove men in the last 20 years.

His batting in the last ashes at home was insane. Saved us so many times.