2016 season wrap

[Booney]

2016 will most certainly be remembered as the “Year of the Dogs”, but what else will we remember 2016 for?

The biggest story at the start of 2016 was the banning of 34 current and former Essendon players by the Court of Arbitration of Sport (CAS) for their 2012 “supplement” program. Some players had retired, some had moved clubs and some were still ready to Don the sash. Ultimately some top up players caused a couple of boil overs, 3 wins for the year and 3 more than anyone saw coming. Hey, they even got a standing ovation after a loss. Now tell me they aren’t all on drugs.

One of them who moved, Jake Carlisle, made the extraordinary decision to Snapchat a short video of him “doing a line” of what was most likely cocaine. Good start at the new club there lad. The leadership group gave him a whack before they got going, CAS put a full stop on the end of it.

Early on it was the move of Patrick Dangerfield to Geelong that created much interest, certainly didn’t hurt when he pulled out a blinder in round 1 with 43 touches against the reigning premier at the MCG. It would pave the way for a remarkable individual season that saw him crowned the Brownlow Medal winner in September, but between those 43 touches and Charlie, much else took place.

North Melbourne flew out of the blocks, 9 wins straight and clear on top they looked to be headed for another year of playing deep into the finals. Well, didn’t that change? Not without controversy, late season drop off and player axing aside, coach Brad Scott played Chinese whispers and it cost him, cost him quite dearly. Scott was fined $30,000 and the club $50,000 after Scott claimed his players were told Lindsay Thomas doesn’t get free kicks because he’s a stager, this allegedly from the umpires. Whether the umpires actually said it or not, it’s true and they’re right. Scott wasn’t happy, but when is he? He certainly wasn’t happy when his side won 2 of their last 12 games and exited the finals as easy beats.

Wasn’t the worst part of the year, that was two weeks out from finals when an amateurish media release told the football world 4 of the clubs elder statesmen wouldn’t be playing at North in 2017. Can’t say it went down well and North might want to forget 2016 ever happened.

A few other clubs would be in the same position, from grand finalists in 2014, to preliminary finalists in 2015 to just 4 wins in 2016 the Dockers went from nearly there to Shockers in one summer. North were 9-0, Fremantle were 0-10. Ick. Wasn’t much better in the Sunshine state where nothing was shining bright on the Lions or Suns. The Lions were getting belted week in and week out, somehow coach Justin Leppitsch held on until the end of the year before being told, hardly surprisingly, that he’d need to get his resume in order and hit seek.com. Richmond took him, anyone surprised?

Speaking of Richmond, they too had a(nother) year to forget, bar an after the siren win over the Swans 2016 will most likely be remembered for the “Focus on Footy” renegade group who were looking to challenge the Richmond board in a coup less organised than the 5 blokes in Turkey put together. It was never going to succeed, not with that bloke and his haircut in the group. Creepy. They had intended to let Hardwick remain in charge, but they were going to tell him how to coach. Yeah, really? Yes. Really. It failed, but not much anyone associated with Richmond does is successful anyway.

Port Adelaide didn’t much enjoy 2016 either, the CAS findings took their #1 ruckman out of the equation, the #2 ruckman was Pittman like in the early matches ( pitiful, for those with short memories ) and losses to Carlton, Fremantle and Melbourne late put an end to an on again – off again stop – start finals run. The board made a bold move to engage one rich bloke from China and made multicultural round all about drums, fireworks and dragon boats. Helped by the SA Government who coughed up some cash after Port fans missed the start of the round 8 Bulldogs game after the train network went into meltdown.

Let’s not forget the banana gate incident that saw a Port Adelaide fan throw a banana at Eddie Betts during the second Showdown of the year, one of the few matches that saw Port Adelaide throw, literally, everything at their opponents. Betts was brilliant about it, Port Adelaide went into damage control and some young sheila will never, ever live it down. Fair enough, we don’t need this in our society, premeditated or not.

The AFL get wind of GWS player Lachie Whitfield having a few quiet nights on Craig Lamberts couch to avoid a drug test. Seems a jilted ex-Mrs of the young lad might have heard of his exploits at a music festival and thought the AFL / ASADA might be interested. Whitfield hid, Lambert and footy boss Gubby Allen helped and they all awaited the outcome....but like all things AFL “investigation”, this would take some time.

The top end of town had a couple of visitors who came in unannounced. Sydney, Hawthorn, Geelong and the fast moving GWS Giants were joined in the race for the top by Adelaide who, after the most tumultuous 2015 imaginable bucked popular opinion on their draw early ( it looked like 2-8 would be a good start ) found themselves with a chance to take second spot on the ladder with just 4 quarters of football to play in the minor round. Pity they only played about 2 quarters. West Coast came to Adelaide and won an unexpected one to jump from 7th to 6th and earn a home final after the weekend off. How that weekend changed things.

Running on 3 legs going into the finals series the Bulldogs finished 7th and went West to face the Eagles in a knock out final. With the bye between season proper and the finals series the vets went to work and 5 puppies were boxed up and sent West. It was the start of a fairy tale run. Wins over West Coast away, reigning 3 time premier Hawthorn at home and then a nail biting win over the Giants away sent them into their first Grand Final since colour TV came to Australia and they duly saluted on a day where the whole nation was backing the underdog, the mighty sons of the West.

Post-season we’ve seen some massive player movement news, Sam Mitchell and Jordan Lewis left the Hawks, some young blokes with little to show on field so far in their careers demanded and received massive contracts despite only having the “potential” tag, some clubs tried to move players on and there was no interest from rivals ( read Port / Hartlett / Lobbe ) and the trade period also threw up some “what might have been” as Adelaide didn’t pay the asking price for Bryce Gibbs. Carlton wanted $15,000 for a 10 year old Hyundai Elantra. Just too much for something that wasn’t great when it was new.

The Whitfield/Lambert/GWS deal came down, the player got 6 months and the administrators got 12. Nothing like an AFL “negotiated outcome”, which in real terms is the AFL saying we don’t want to look like pricks so how about you guys help us out by saying you’re guilty even though we haven’t found you guilty.

But surely the biggest post-season news was Jobe Watson handing back his 2012 Brownlow and the AFL, like splitting up a family bloke of Cadburys, broke it in two and gave Sam Mitchell and Trent Cotchin a piece each which, ironically, now means Mitchell is fair and Cotchin is brilliant. Go figure!

[JK]

the #2 ruckman was Pittman like in the early matches ( pitiful, for those with short memories )

"Pathetic" I believe was the word of choice .. As always mate, another entertaining read that didn't miss the mark

[bennymacca]

the #2 ruckman was Pittman like in the early matches ( pitiful, for those with short memories )

"Pathetic" I believe was the word of choice .. As always mate, another entertaining read that didn't miss the mark

haha this is what i was going to comment on too.

Good read though booney

[Dogwatcher]

Sums up Collingwood's season that we couldn't even get a mention in this wrap.

[Rik E Boy]

REB's tldr version.

Adelaide: When allowed to play their brand of football they proved they can be the most destructive team in the competition. They also showed they are slow learners as proven by the Geelong match. The donut team with no midfield.

Administration: Swept so much under the carpet to preserve the integrity of the game they need a Nimbus 2000.

Brisbane: Developing a promising spine but still light years away from challenging. Need to get a few bums on seats at the Gabba next season. Leppa gone is a step in the right direction.

Broadcasters: Dumb **** lowest common denominator blokey bullshit that will get worse now that Dennis has left.

Carlton: Won a few early as their coach is a ripper but fell in a hole because their list hasn't been rebuilt yet after the Collingwood conspiracy flogged the shit out of it.

Collingwood: Delighted opposition fans by extending Buckley's contract which delivered the annual drop down the ladder. Got the regulation win over their bitches Geelong.

Essendon: Deservedly got their first spoon and undeservedly got the number one draft pick for being a bunch of drug cheats. Fans are up and about because they forgot how shit most of their players were the season before last.

Fremantle: Fell off a cliff but Ross showed signs he is ready to teach. Just as well because Pav is gone and Nat might follow soon after. Unearthed a few good young players.

Geelong: The acquisition of the suit surfer didn't deliver a flag but did get them back in the finals. This season they have to find a way to cover for Boris and hide Andrew Mackie at the same time. Jagged a few impressive away wins but can't beat Sydney.

Gold Coast: Everyone can't wait to get out of the joint because it's too hot to get on the gear and Gaz whinges too much in the prayer meetings because he's too hurt. Who cares.

Greater Western Sydney: The AFL Giants lived up to their name by playing some scary football at times. The empty seats at Spotless Stadium couldn't be happier.

Hawthorn: Given a massive leg up by the maggots early in the season and as a result they topped the table until late in the season. Naturally when the maggots stopped helping them this bunch of front runners fell into a hole. Lovely stuff.

Melbourne: Still a bunch of pretenders as evidenced by their losses to Essendon and Carlton. At their best they play some great football but the jury is out until everyone plays Simon Says next year.

North: A brilliantly conceived selection and list management strategy saw a team win their first nine and then lose 11 of their last 13. At their best they were old and at their worst they were even older.

Port: Port's cunning strategy of recruiting drug cheats didn't help them 2016 because they had to Lob with Matt in the ruck good luck with that. The list has the depth of the gene pool at Alberton so little wonder they missed the eight.

Richmond: Like Collingwood gave a dud coach an extension. Hardwick isn't even smart enough to thump the wall in the coaches box but luckily they have outstanding youth to take them forward.

St Kilda: The highlight of their season was the moral victory over Umpirethorn in Tasmania. Apparently they have requested all 22 of their matches to be played against Melbourne at Ethiad next season.

Sydney: The soulless corporate football corporation won the wallets and minds of Sydney siders from Valcluse to Double Bay as the millionaire academyites won their way through to the Grand Final after getting two byes in September. The AFL were so embarrassed by the ease of their finals wins they quite rightly umpired them out of the grand final. Job done.

West Coast: Best in the west and shit in the rest. Had a great win in Adelaide which said plenty about both teams but every other match on the road against half decent opposition ended up in a smashing. Recruited an exciting youngster who is bound to add some run on the longest ground in Australia.

Western Bulldogs: Secured their second trophy and haven't stopped drinking since.

Umpires: Didn't notice them all year, honestly.

regards,

REB

[MatteeG]

Hawthorn: Given a massive leg up by the maggots early in the season and as a result they topped the table until late in the season. Naturally when the maggots stopped helping them this bunch of front runners fell into a hole. Lovely stuff.


Umpires: Didn't notice them all year, honestly.

regards,

REB

Arthur or Martha REB?

[Rik E Boy]

Hawthorn: Given a massive leg up by the maggots early in the season and as a result they topped the table until late in the season. Naturally when the maggots stopped helping them this bunch of front runners fell into a hole. Lovely stuff.


Umpires: Didn't notice them all year, honestly.

regards,

REB

Arthur or Martha REB?

It's broken.

Regards,

REB

[Lightning McQueen]

[hollywood7477]

REB's tldr version.

Adelaide: When allowed to play their brand of football they proved they can be the most destructive team in the competition. They also showed they are slow learners as proven by the Geelong match. The donut team with no midfield.

Administration: Swept so much under the carpet to preserve the integrity of the game they need a Nimbus 2000.

Brisbane: Developing a promising spine but still light years away from challenging. Need to get a few bums on seats at the Gabba next season. Leppa gone is a step in the right direction.

Broadcasters: Dumb **** lowest common denominator blokey bullshit that will get worse now that Dennis has left.

Carlton: Won a few early as their coach is a ripper but fell in a hole because their list hasn't been rebuilt yet after the Collingwood conspiracy flogged the shit out of it.

Collingwood: Delighted opposition fans by extending Buckley's contract which delivered the annual drop down the ladder. Got the regulation win over their bitches Geelong.

Essendon: Deservedly got their first spoon and undeservedly got the number one draft pick for being a bunch of drug cheats. Fans are up and about because they forgot how shit most of their players were the season before last.

Fremantle: Fell off a cliff but Ross showed signs he is ready to teach. Just as well because Pav is gone and Nat might follow soon after. Unearthed a few good young players.

Geelong: The acquisition of the suit surfer didn't deliver a flag but did get them back in the finals. This season they have to find a way to cover for Boris and hide Andrew Mackie at the same time. Jagged a few impressive away wins but can't beat Sydney.

Gold Coast: Everyone can't wait to get out of the joint because it's too hot to get on the gear and Gaz whinges too much in the prayer meetings because he's too hurt. Who cares.

Greater Western Sydney: The AFL Giants lived up to their name by playing some scary football at times. The empty seats at Spotless Stadium couldn't be happier.

Hawthorn: Given a massive leg up by the maggots early in the season and as a result they topped the table until late in the season. Naturally when the maggots stopped helping them this bunch of front runners fell into a hole. Lovely stuff.

Melbourne: Still a bunch of pretenders as evidenced by their losses to Essendon and Carlton. At their best they play some great football but the jury is out until everyone plays Simon Says next year.

North: A brilliantly conceived selection and list management strategy saw a team win their first nine and then lose 11 of their last 13. At their best they were old and at their worst they were even older.

Port: Port's cunning strategy of recruiting drug cheats didn't help them 2016 because they had to Lob with Matt in the ruck good luck with that. The list has the depth of the gene pool at Alberton so little wonder they missed the eight.

Richmond: Like Collingwood gave a dud coach an extension. Hardwick isn't even smart enough to thump the wall in the coaches box but luckily they have outstanding youth to take them forward.

St Kilda: The highlight of their season was the moral victory over Umpirethorn in Tasmania. Apparently they have requested all 22 of their matches to be played against Melbourne at Ethiad next season.

Sydney: The soulless corporate football corporation won the wallets and minds of Sydney siders from Valcluse to Double Bay as the millionaire academyites won their way through to the Grand Final after getting two byes in September. The AFL were so embarrassed by the ease of their finals wins they quite rightly umpired them out of the grand final. Job done.

West Coast: Best in the west and shit in the rest. Had a great win in Adelaide which said plenty about both teams but every other match on the road against half decent opposition ended up in a smashing. Recruited an exciting youngster who is bound to add some run on the longest ground in Australia.

Western Bulldogs: Secured their second trophy and haven't stopped drinking since.

Umpires: Didn't notice them all year, honestly.

regards,

REB

what about the Natainui last gasp goal against GWS at Spotless. Eagles had 3 fantastic wins in a row against Hawks, GWS, Crows

[Rik E Boy]

Forgot about GWS. An easy thing to do.

Was a good win though. Helped us get the double chance (not that we used it).

regards,

REB