Things that give you the sh1ts

Anything!

Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Booney » Mon May 14, 2018 2:57 pm

A bartender walks into a bar and finds some customers wanting to buy and drink and some other customers wanting to put a bet on a race.

He cries.

The end.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Wedgie » Mon May 14, 2018 3:01 pm

Booney wrote:A bartender walks into a bar and finds some customers wanting to buy and drink and some other customers wanting to put a bet on a race.

He cries.

The end.

No need to cry, I'm the only one in the front bar at the Hope Inn ATM.
Pale tastes a treat even after brushing my teeth 5 mins ago! :D

Ooh ooh hang on. I just ordered a schnitzel, I hope it's not crumby! Bwahahaha
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Lightning McQueen » Mon May 14, 2018 3:01 pm

Two punters walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Wedgie » Mon May 14, 2018 3:06 pm

The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”  
A time traveler walks into a bar.

Bwahahaha :lol:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Wedgie » Mon May 14, 2018 3:08 pm

The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.


Bwahahahaha :lol:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby nuggety goodness » Mon May 14, 2018 3:23 pm

Lightning McQueen wrote:Two punters walked into a bar, the third one ducked.


2 Ricky Pontings and Joel Selwood?
I am not talking to you for 3 minutes because you punched me in the head and it hurt and that was not okay for you to do
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Pseudo » Mon May 14, 2018 3:30 pm

Wedgie wrote:The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”  
A time traveler walks into a bar.

Bwahahaha :lol:

Don'cha hate it when the time travellers abuse the betting facility?
Clowns OUT. Smears OUT. RESIST THE OCCUPATION.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Lightning McQueen » Mon May 14, 2018 3:37 pm

Pseudo wrote:
Wedgie wrote:The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”  
A time traveler walks into a bar.

Bwahahaha :lol:

Don'cha hate it when the time travellers abuse the betting facility?

Not when they tell you who won the next race.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Wedgie » Mon May 14, 2018 3:38 pm

Pseudo wrote:
Wedgie wrote:The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”  
A time traveler walks into a bar.

Bwahahaha :lol:

Don'cha hate it when the time travellers abuse the betting facility?


I had a time traveller in our dining room on Saturday. He liked the food so much he went back four seconds.
Bwahahah :lol:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Booney » Mon May 14, 2018 3:40 pm

Lightning McQueen wrote:
Pseudo wrote:
Wedgie wrote:The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”  
A time traveler walks into a bar.

Bwahahaha :lol:

Don'cha hate it when the time travellers abuse the betting facility?

Not when they tell you who won the next race.


He must have had inside info, it's the only way you can win on the races. ;)
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Lightning McQueen » Mon May 14, 2018 3:47 pm

Booney wrote:
He must have had inside info, it's the only way you can win on the races. ;)

Ubet
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Wedgie » Mon May 14, 2018 3:47 pm

Booney wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:
Pseudo wrote:
Wedgie wrote:The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”  
A time traveler walks into a bar.

Bwahahaha :lol:

Don'cha hate it when the time travellers abuse the betting facility?

Not when they tell you who won the next race.


He must have had inside info, it's the only way you can win on the races. ;)

There's another way to get a small fortune from gambling on obscure races on a Tuesday though.
Start with a large fortune!
Bwahahaha :lol:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby mighty_tiger_79 » Mon May 14, 2018 6:00 pm

I sense an sa footy punting day at wedgies drinking pub....
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Wedgie » Mon May 14, 2018 6:07 pm

mighty_tiger_79 wrote:I sense an sa footy punting day at wedgies drinking pub....

Make it the pub I work at as I work most weekends! Ideally a Saturday arvo when our punters club is on!
I think I've only worked two Saturday arvos in the front bar though, normally gaming or dining for me as I'm overqualified for the front bar. I ****** up there as I love working in the front bar. :(
Only got my shifts till next Sunday at this stage and no front bar gigs coming up, hopefully the week after! :D

Our front bar is tiny and like a bloody maze to get through though. I'd recommend Friday's there as its $4 pints! Same in the massive gaming/dining area too. Free raffles both days and Thursday's too. Come one, come all, best pub in town!

Plenty of sophisticated humour at both venues too! Bwahahaha :lol:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby heater31 » Tue May 15, 2018 6:15 pm

Useless ******* neighbours that reverse into your garage roller door rendering it useless!


oh well now all of the neighbours will be paying to fix it via the strata fees when the insurance claim is submitted.....
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby carey » Tue May 15, 2018 6:26 pm

To much chilli on my dog roll today, so I take some of the chili out and complete the roll absolutely beautiful as always. (Top end of churchill rd, although they are moving) but what shits me is forgetting I took the chilli out then rubbing an irritating eye.

Seriously don’t recommend chilli in the eye. Jesus it burnt.
you've gota keep on keep'n on .........
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Corona Man » Tue May 15, 2018 6:40 pm

carey wrote:To much chilli on my dog roll today, so I take some of the chili out and complete the roll absolutely beautiful as always. (Top end of churchill rd, although they are moving) but what shits me is forgetting I took the chilli out then rubbing an irritating eye.

Seriously don’t recommend chilli in the eye. Jesus it burnt.

Agreed. Bit like applying the extra strength Dencorub not washing your hands properly then going for a slash.... great balls of fire.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby The Dark Knight » Tue May 15, 2018 8:57 pm

Corona Man wrote:
carey wrote:To much chilli on my dog roll today, so I take some of the chili out and complete the roll absolutely beautiful as always. (Top end of churchill rd, although they are moving) but what shits me is forgetting I took the chilli out then rubbing an irritating eye.

Seriously don’t recommend chilli in the eye. Jesus it burnt.

Agreed. Bit like applying the extra strength Dencorub not washing your hands properly then going for a slash.... great balls of fire.
Got to be real careful with heat gel/cream in that instance.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Lightning McQueen » Wed May 16, 2018 10:01 am

carey wrote:To much chilli on my dog roll today, so I take some of the chili out and complete the roll absolutely beautiful as always. (Top end of churchill rd, although they are moving) but what shits me is forgetting I took the chilli out then rubbing an irritating eye.

Seriously don’t recommend chilli in the eye. Jesus it burnt.

Near that skate park thingy?
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Lightning McQueen » Wed May 16, 2018 10:03 am

Corona Man wrote:
carey wrote:To much chilli on my dog roll today, so I take some of the chili out and complete the roll absolutely beautiful as always. (Top end of churchill rd, although they are moving) but what shits me is forgetting I took the chilli out then rubbing an irritating eye.

Seriously don’t recommend chilli in the eye. Jesus it burnt.

Agreed. Bit like applying the extra strength Dencorub not washing your hands properly then going for a slash.... great balls of fire.

Learnt that the hard way getting a groin rub down in under 17's.

A bit got on my jocks and then whacko!!! Got out on the field and had to grab a handful of mud to apply to the scrotum. I ran pretty quick that day.
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