Things that make you sad.

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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Tue May 15, 2018 11:15 am

Brodlach wrote:Sorry to hear LM, sounds like an inspirational type bloke. If that’s is who you modeled yourself on no wonder you seem to be such a great person


All the best to you and your entire family

Thanks BL, I wont mope too much about my loss, I'll shed the occasional tear when a memory pops into my head but I'll get many goosebumps thinking how lucky I was to have had him to look up to.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby amber_fluid » Tue May 15, 2018 5:06 pm

HH3 wrote:My mother in law passing away yesterday after an eight month battle with cancer.

Every evening for the last three weeks we've spent by her side at the QEH.

12.30am yesterday she finally decided it was time.


Terrible news mate.
Condolences to you and the family.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby amber_fluid » Tue May 15, 2018 5:09 pm

Lightning McQueen wrote:
johntheclaret wrote:
You’re having a bit of a tough time at the moment LM. Call up a good mate, go out and have a beer and off load. A good mate will be happy to listen and being able to talk to someone relieves so much pressure.

Keep your chin up.


Thanks JTC, after spending 15 years running a club, harbouring everyone else's problems I tend to be a bit of a loner now, this place is probably my escape.

Unfortunately my mum is very ill at the moment, this has hit her immensely as she would usually go and see him on a Saturday morning, she had been in Europe for a couple of weeks and got really sick in London where she spent the last 3 days of her trip bedridden, she was unable to go see him Saturday and feels a bit responsible, I can't even talk to her at the moment but I'm hoping she's up for some company this afternoon.


Sorry to hear about your grandfather passing mate.
You’re due for some good luck soon surely.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby johntheclaret » Wed May 16, 2018 4:50 am

Lightning McQueen wrote:
johntheclaret wrote:
You’re having a bit of a tough time at the moment LM. Call up a good mate, go out and have a beer and off load. A good mate will be happy to listen and being able to talk to someone relieves so much pressure.

Keep your chin up.


Thanks JTC, after spending 15 years running a club, harbouring everyone else's problems I tend to be a bit of a loner now, this place is probably my escape.

Unfortunately my mum is very ill at the moment, this has hit her immensely as she would usually go and see him on a Saturday morning, she had been in Europe for a couple of weeks and got really sick in London where she spent the last 3 days of her trip bedridden, she was unable to go see him Saturday and feels a bit responsible, I can't even talk to her at the moment but I'm hoping she's up for some company this afternoon.



Don’t let her harbour that guilt LM. It will just eat away at her. Do whatever you can to make sure she has a purpose to live and not just a life of guilt. Losing loved ones, no matter when or how always makes you question yourself. Could I have done more, did they know how much they were loved and hardest of all maybe, how am I going to carry on now they’ve gone. Especially for the older generation who might have shared 50 or more years together.

It’s hard for them as they tend to have so little in common with younger generations that they feel isolated. Your job is to make sure your mum feels part of your life. I’m sure you will be excel mate.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Wed May 16, 2018 9:53 am

amber_fluid wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:
johntheclaret wrote:
You’re having a bit of a tough time at the moment LM. Call up a good mate, go out and have a beer and off load. A good mate will be happy to listen and being able to talk to someone relieves so much pressure.

Keep your chin up.


Thanks JTC, after spending 15 years running a club, harbouring everyone else's problems I tend to be a bit of a loner now, this place is probably my escape.

Unfortunately my mum is very ill at the moment, this has hit her immensely as she would usually go and see him on a Saturday morning, she had been in Europe for a couple of weeks and got really sick in London where she spent the last 3 days of her trip bedridden, she was unable to go see him Saturday and feels a bit responsible, I can't even talk to her at the moment but I'm hoping she's up for some company this afternoon.


Sorry to hear about your grandfather passing mate.
You’re due for some good luck soon surely.


Thanks mate, swings and roundabouts, I'm fine, I have a roof over my head, my kids are healthy and happy, I just focus on the things I can control.

We all have our ups and downs, we need to brush ourselves off and carry on, today is a new day.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Wed May 16, 2018 10:00 am

johntheclaret wrote:

Don’t let her harbour that guilt LM. It will just eat away at her. Do whatever you can to make sure she has a purpose to live and not just a life of guilt. Losing loved ones, no matter when or how always makes you question yourself. Could I have done more, did they know how much they were loved and hardest of all maybe, how am I going to carry on now they’ve gone. Especially for the older generation who might have shared 50 or more years together.

It’s hard for them as they tend to have so little in common with younger generations that they feel isolated. Your job is to make sure your mum feels part of your life. I’m sure you will be excel mate.


Cheers mate, I took the bull by the horns and jumped on a train and headed over to her last night without prior warning, I'm bloody glad I did, she glowed immediately as I got there, she can barely talk at the moment so I did all the talking and she just smiled and nodded. We had a couple of bevvies and when I got picked up I felt great.

I was expecting her to be all broken and mopey so it was comforting to see her acceptance, I think we both know that my Grandfather is in a better place now, up there with his life time partner free of pain and worry.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Wedgie » Wed May 16, 2018 12:48 pm

Sorry to hear about that LM, big hugs to you and your family.
Pass on mine and Wendy's love to your Mum, I hope Mum gets better real soon, it wouldn't be the same going to the Reepham and not seeing your Mum and Tony there. xxxxx
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Wed May 16, 2018 12:57 pm

Wedgie wrote:Sorry to hear about that LM, big hugs to you and your family.
Pass on mine and Wendy's love to your Mum, I hope Mum gets better real soon, it wouldn't be the same going to the Reepham and not seeing your Mum and Tony there. xxxxx

Cheers mate, will do. They've lost 3 out of their 4 parents in the past 9 months and the one who was the crookest to begin with is still around................just.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby bennymacca » Wed May 16, 2018 1:01 pm

Really sorry to hear both your stories HH3 and LM.

Lightning McQueen wrote:It's hard to know whether sudden or drawn out is the easiest way, it's just very numbing either way.


My MIL passed about 7 years ago and went from diagnosis to passing in 8 weeks. In some ways it was better - you knew it was gonna take her sooner or later, it certainly was a better option than hanging on for another few months.

But then there is obviously people who live for years after their initial diagnosis.


As much as we talk rubbish on here its a stark reminder to me to try and keep in mind what people might be going through when interacting with them, both in person and online
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby bennymacca » Wed May 16, 2018 1:02 pm

Lightning McQueen wrote:As I went to leave work yesterday I received a phone call saying my Grandfather had passed away in the morning.

The man was nothing short of inspirational after losing both his legs in a trucking accident at the age of 27 but continued to drive past 70 years of age, he was fully awake when they told him the only way they can save his life was to free him from the trailer that was on top of his crushed legs.

He had a tough life, had two sons die of cot death, another is retarded which him and my nanna (who died last year) never asked for help or care for him as they tried to once when he was a teenager only to return a week earlier that expected to find him severely bashed by staff members at the centre he was staying at.

The final straw was seeing everything they had lived for destroyed in the Pinery fires, due to a technicality with their insurance policy, they were not covered and couldn't afford to contest it, it saw them both deteriorate in health rapidly, you just can't start again when you're 80.

It was a very solemn night for me, my wife has some of her own issues she is dealing with so I didn't want to flood her with mine, I am lucky though to have a father like I did and a grandfather that taught me so much about myself and worrying about what I have around me, not what I don't have, he was a very spritely, happy man, I never saw him once in my life angry.



that would honestly sap anyone's will to live.

Sounds like he lived an awesome life though.

Given I'm not religious my philosophy is to try and live your life such that others will remember you fondly - that is how you "live on" in my books. Sounds like he will be fondly remembered by many
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Wed May 16, 2018 1:16 pm

bennymacca wrote:Really sorry to hear both your stories HH3 and LM.

Lightning McQueen wrote:It's hard to know whether sudden or drawn out is the easiest way, it's just very numbing either way.


My MIL passed about 7 years ago and went from diagnosis to passing in 8 weeks. In some ways it was better - you knew it was gonna take her sooner or later, it certainly was a better option than hanging on for another few months.

But then there is obviously people who live for years after their initial diagnosis.


As much as we talk rubbish on here its a stark reminder to me to try and keep in mind what people might be going through when interacting with them, both in person and online

Yep, behind every person is a unique story, although we all might not agree from time to time I still believe you have to respect other opinions and views.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Wed May 16, 2018 1:20 pm

bennymacca wrote:

that would honestly sap anyone's will to live.

Sounds like he lived an awesome life though.

Given I'm not religious my philosophy is to try and live your life such that others will remember you fondly - that is how you "live on" in my books. Sounds like he will be fondly remembered by many

I'm not really religious so to speak, I do have my own beliefs as in karma and other things similar, but they're are my own views and not needed to be aired or pushed.

He lived a very hard life, him and his trucks were regulars in the "Truckin Life" magazine, having uncle's and a dad in the industry I often heard from other Truckies about the legend my grandfather was.

I have many great anecdotes to share with my cousins at his funeral on Monday, a celebration of his life, not a mourning of his passing.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Tue May 22, 2018 10:15 am

After attending my Grandfather's funeral yesterday I came to the realization that there are a lot of rellies that I simply have lost all interest in, so many have their own vendetta's against each other and that they fail to see what would've been important for my Grandfather, I crossed at least 10 off my list yesterday which is so unlike me.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby johntheclaret » Tue May 22, 2018 10:19 am

Lightning McQueen wrote:After attending my Grandfather's funeral yesterday I came to the realization that there are a lot of rellies that I simply have lost all interest in, so many have their own vendetta's against each other and that they fail to see what would've been important for my Grandfather, I crossed at least 10 off my list yesterday which is so unlike me.


Ah, you know what they say mate. You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Tue May 22, 2018 10:24 am

johntheclaret wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:After attending my Grandfather's funeral yesterday I came to the realization that there are a lot of rellies that I simply have lost all interest in, so many have their own vendetta's against each other and that they fail to see what would've been important for my Grandfather, I crossed at least 10 off my list yesterday which is so unlike me.


Ah, you know what they say mate. You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.

Yeah, I have neither LOL.

Seriously though, there are a few that are amazing people, an aunty of mine has the hugest heart imaginable.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Pseudo » Tue May 22, 2018 10:42 am

Lightning McQueen wrote:After attending my Grandfather's funeral yesterday I came to the realization that there are a lot of rellies that I simply have lost all interest in, ...

This is not an uncommon experience.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Tue May 22, 2018 10:53 am

Pseudo wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:After attending my Grandfather's funeral yesterday I came to the realization that there are a lot of rellies that I simply have lost all interest in, ...

This is not an uncommon experience.

Unfortunately.

I only ever see the ones on the other side of the family at funerals, we all agree to catch up and exchange numbers but life passes us by, unfortunately there is no one left to pass away so there will be no contact at all anymore, we have a ball when we all do catch up though.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Booney » Tue May 22, 2018 10:58 am

I attended a funeral yesterday for a friends mother and spoke to some friends about what lies ahead for us all.

In the last 20-25 years we've all married, had children, built homes and lives, become the people we are and with our friends developed relationships with those you know and love. The next 20-25 will be filled with loss as our ageing parents leave us.

Seems a little unfair that just as you find life unfolding as you would have hoped there's a bend in the road ahead that's unavoidable.

The groups overwhelming sense was to make the most of every day, be the person you want to be. Love and be loved.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby Lightning McQueen » Tue May 22, 2018 11:07 am

Booney wrote:I attended a funeral yesterday for a friends mother and spoke to some friends about what lies ahead for us all.

In the last 20-25 years we've all married, had children, built homes and lives, become the people we are and with our friends developed relationships with those you know and love. The next 20-25 will be filled with loss as our ageing parents leave us.

Seems a little unfair that just as you find life unfolding as you would have hoped there's a bend in the road ahead that's unavoidable.

The groups overwhelming sense was to make the most of every day, be the person you want to be. Love and be loved.


Yep, someone dug up a documentary of my Grandfather from 1974 titled "If I can do it", it was about how he used to get himself around after losing both legs, it was simply amazing how he'd climb in and out of the truck and along the car carrier trailers to in the cars to unload them, it certainly tugged on the heart strings and made me appreciate what I do have.

I'm now down to just having a mother as a parental figure, most of my cousins etc. are really just acquaintance's now, it's just how life pans out, at my wedding last year I invited my aunty (not her husband), and two of her sons, that was it out of any rellies full stop.
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Re: Things that make you sad.

Postby whufc » Tue May 22, 2018 11:12 am

If anyone is ever struggling for day to day motivation (and don't have any family members/friends etc who inspire them) I highly recommend watching/listening to any speeches from a gentlemen called Michael Crossland. His story is truly amazing!!
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