Things that give you the sh1ts

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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby HH3 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 12:43 pm

amber_fluid wrote:There’s a coffee shop on Marion road near me that’s a vegan coffee shop.
I had no idea it was when I went in.

I asked for a flat white with full cream milk.
Lady said we only have........... and listed off about 6 types of milk.

I said no probs, skim milk is fine.

She then said we don’t have that either.
I said what milk do you have.
She said, I just told you.
I then said sorry but I wasn’t listening could she repeat them.

She sighs and says, almond milk, rice milk, soy milk and 3 other types I’ve never heard of.

I said I’ve never had any of them but give me almond milk.

It was sh*thouse.

Anyway told the wife and she said that’s a vegan coffee shop.


Probably the best story Ive heard today.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby HH3 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 12:49 pm

HH3 wrote:The mentality that if you don't know how to do something that's your responsibility, but someone else does, you expect to be able to handball it because "it'll be quicker if you do it".

Not for me it won't.

Currently being given 'tude by someone for making them do their job themselves. :lol:


Turns out it would have been quicker for me.

She royally f**ked that up.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Pseudo » Wed Nov 28, 2018 12:59 pm

HH3 wrote:
HH3 wrote:The mentality that if you don't know how to do something that's your responsibility, but someone else does, you expect to be able to handball it because "it'll be quicker if you do it".

Not for me it won't.

Currently being given 'tude by someone for making them do their job themselves. :lol:


Turns out it would have been quicker for me.

She royally f**ked that up.


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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Pseudo » Wed Nov 28, 2018 1:03 pm

amber_fluid wrote:There’s a coffee shop on Marion road near me that’s a vegan coffee shop.
...
It was sh*thouse.

Go again, but this time be visibly munching a McDonalds bacon cheeseburger straight from the wrapper while you order.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby amber_fluid » Wed Nov 28, 2018 1:13 pm

Pseudo wrote:
amber_fluid wrote:There’s a coffee shop on Marion road near me that’s a vegan coffee shop.
...
It was sh*thouse.

Go again, but this time be visibly munching a McDonalds bacon cheeseburger straight from the wrapper while you order.


I might do that!
And I’ll ask her twice what milk she has, just to make her day again!

I’ll have to grow a beard and wear my wife’s jeans as that seem to be all the rage with the other ‘guys’ in there.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Brodlach » Wed Nov 28, 2018 1:22 pm

MW wrote:
Dutchy wrote:Cafe's that question me when I ask for an extra shot in my morning coffee "are you sure?" FFS I wouldnt have asked 5 seconds ago if I wasn't sure....grrr


^this

every f..king time I ask for extra shot and they tell me its got two in it already...no sh1t sunshine put a third in it then ffs

I always ask for a triple shot jumbo no sugar. The looks I get are priceless
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Brodlach » Wed Nov 28, 2018 1:23 pm

Spargo wrote:I run a X-lotto syndicate at work a couple of times a year.
The Christmas mega draw being one of them, a system 14 with 21 shares @ $100 each.
I have a spare spot, there were 3 candidates who have hounded me in the past to go in. I’ve always resisted as on a scale of 1-10 in flogness, all of them hover around 9.
I relent, this is how my conversations went this morning. I am not making a word of this up...

#1 - “How much is a share again?”
Me - *sigh* “$100”
#1 - “Can I have a half share?”
Me - “If you organise someone else for the other half, then yes”
#1 - “Shouldn’t that be your job?”
Me - “No”
#1 - “That’s a bit rough, what if I can’t find someone?”
Me - “You’ve got 20 mins to find someone to go halves in a share, if not I’m asking someone else”
He never got back to me.

#2 - “How much do you think we’ll win?” (this was asked seriously)
Me - “Hopefully a million each, but I can’t guarantee anything”
#2 - “How will you give me the money that I win?”
Me - “Like I said, there’s no promise we will win anything. If we do, you will have your own ticket with an individual barcode for you to go and collect your share of any dividends we may win”
#2 - “What if I lose my ticket, or it gets stolen?”
Me - “You’d have to go to SA Lotteries & fill out a lost ticket claim form. If it’s stolen then the police”
#2 - “This worries me, can I think about it?”
Me - “No”
I walked away.

#3 - “Can I pay it off in weekly instalments?”
I’m thinking $25 over the next 4 weeks, it’s a bit of a pain but compared to the first 2 arseclowns I spoke too...
Me - “Sure”
#3 - “Great” - reaches in to his pocket and pulls out* a ten dollar note & tries to give it to me. “$90 to go”
Me - “Um, noooo. The draw is in less than 5 weeks. I’m not chasing up money into February!”
#3 - “F#cken’ hell, that’s a bit rough - I thought we were mates!”
Me - “No it’s f#cking not - and no we’re f#cking not”

I bought the remaining share for my wife.

:lol:

Don’t be mean to Pirate ;)
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Footy Chick » Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:50 pm

It gives me the shits when friends fight.

Image
Don't play games with a girl who can play 'em better...

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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby PatowalongaPirate » Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:30 pm

A second man in three days was arrested for allegedly attempting to start fires near Rockhampton during the state's on going bushfire crisis.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Corona Man » Fri Nov 30, 2018 5:06 pm

Spargo wrote:I run a X-lotto syndicate at work a couple of times a year.
The Christmas mega draw being one of them, a system 14 with 21 shares @ $100 each.
I have a spare spot, there were 3 candidates who have hounded me in the past to go in. I’ve always resisted as on a scale of 1-10 in flogness, all of them hover around 9.
I relent, this is how my conversations went this morning. I am not making a word of this up...

#1 - “How much is a share again?”
Me - *sigh* “$100”
#1 - “Can I have a half share?”
Me - “If you organise someone else for the other half, then yes”
#1 - “Shouldn’t that be your job?”
Me - “No”
#1 - “That’s a bit rough, what if I can’t find someone?”
Me - “You’ve got 20 mins to find someone to go halves in a share, if not I’m asking someone else”
He never got back to me.

#2 - “How much do you think we’ll win?” (this was asked seriously)
Me - “Hopefully a million each, but I can’t guarantee anything”
#2 - “How will you give me the money that I win?”
Me - “Like I said, there’s no promise we will win anything. If we do, you will have your own ticket with an individual barcode for you to go and collect your share of any dividends we may win”
#2 - “What if I lose my ticket, or it gets stolen?”
Me - “You’d have to go to SA Lotteries & fill out a lost ticket claim form. If it’s stolen then the police”
#2 - “This worries me, can I think about it?”
Me - “No”
I walked away.

#3 - “Can I pay it off in weekly instalments?”
I’m thinking $25 over the next 4 weeks, it’s a bit of a pain but compared to the first 2 arseclowns I spoke too...
Me - “Sure”
#3 - “Great” - reaches in to his pocket and pulls out* a ten dollar note & tries to give it to me. “$90 to go”
Me - “Um, noooo. The draw is in less than 5 weeks. I’m not chasing up money into February!”
#3 - “F#cken’ hell, that’s a bit rough - I thought we were mates!”
Me - “No it’s f#cking not - and no we’re f#cking not”

I bought the remaining share for my wife.


Did she ask any similar questions?
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Booney » Mon Dec 03, 2018 9:49 am

37° for the cricket on Thursday.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby The Ash Man » Mon Dec 03, 2018 9:57 am

Booney wrote:37° for the cricket on Thursday.


Will be a comfortable 23 in the Phil Ridings Bar
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby JK » Mon Dec 03, 2018 10:01 am

Spargo wrote:I run a X-lotto syndicate at work a couple of times a year.
The Christmas mega draw being one of them, a system 14 with 21 shares @ $100 each.
I have a spare spot, there were 3 candidates who have hounded me in the past to go in. I’ve always resisted as on a scale of 1-10 in flogness, all of them hover around 9.
I relent, this is how my conversations went this morning. I am not making a word of this up...

#1 - “How much is a share again?”
Me - *sigh* “$100”
#1 - “Can I have a half share?”
Me - “If you organise someone else for the other half, then yes”
#1 - “Shouldn’t that be your job?”
Me - “No”
#1 - “That’s a bit rough, what if I can’t find someone?”
Me - “You’ve got 20 mins to find someone to go halves in a share, if not I’m asking someone else”
He never got back to me.

#2 - “How much do you think we’ll win?” (this was asked seriously)
Me - “Hopefully a million each, but I can’t guarantee anything”
#2 - “How will you give me the money that I win?”
Me - “Like I said, there’s no promise we will win anything. If we do, you will have your own ticket with an individual barcode for you to go and collect your share of any dividends we may win”
#2 - “What if I lose my ticket, or it gets stolen?”
Me - “You’d have to go to SA Lotteries & fill out a lost ticket claim form. If it’s stolen then the police”
#2 - “This worries me, can I think about it?”
Me - “No”
I walked away.

#3 - “Can I pay it off in weekly instalments?”
I’m thinking $25 over the next 4 weeks, it’s a bit of a pain but compared to the first 2 arseclowns I spoke too...
Me - “Sure”
#3 - “Great” - reaches in to his pocket and pulls out* a ten dollar note & tries to give it to me. “$90 to go”
Me - “Um, noooo. The draw is in less than 5 weeks. I’m not chasing up money into February!”
#3 - “F#cken’ hell, that’s a bit rough - I thought we were mates!”
Me - “No it’s f#cking not - and no we’re f#cking not”

I bought the remaining share for my wife.


I got annoyed just reading that, WTF is wrong with people??? :evil:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby HH3 » Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:52 pm

JK wrote:
Spargo wrote:I run a X-lotto syndicate at work a couple of times a year.
The Christmas mega draw being one of them, a system 14 with 21 shares @ $100 each.
I have a spare spot, there were 3 candidates who have hounded me in the past to go in. I’ve always resisted as on a scale of 1-10 in flogness, all of them hover around 9.
I relent, this is how my conversations went this morning. I am not making a word of this up...

#1 - “How much is a share again?”
Me - *sigh* “$100”
#1 - “Can I have a half share?”
Me - “If you organise someone else for the other half, then yes”
#1 - “Shouldn’t that be your job?”
Me - “No”
#1 - “That’s a bit rough, what if I can’t find someone?”
Me - “You’ve got 20 mins to find someone to go halves in a share, if not I’m asking someone else”
He never got back to me.

#2 - “How much do you think we’ll win?” (this was asked seriously)
Me - “Hopefully a million each, but I can’t guarantee anything”
#2 - “How will you give me the money that I win?”
Me - “Like I said, there’s no promise we will win anything. If we do, you will have your own ticket with an individual barcode for you to go and collect your share of any dividends we may win”
#2 - “What if I lose my ticket, or it gets stolen?”
Me - “You’d have to go to SA Lotteries & fill out a lost ticket claim form. If it’s stolen then the police”
#2 - “This worries me, can I think about it?”
Me - “No”
I walked away.

#3 - “Can I pay it off in weekly instalments?”
I’m thinking $25 over the next 4 weeks, it’s a bit of a pain but compared to the first 2 arseclowns I spoke too...
Me - “Sure”
#3 - “Great” - reaches in to his pocket and pulls out* a ten dollar note & tries to give it to me. “$90 to go”
Me - “Um, noooo. The draw is in less than 5 weeks. I’m not chasing up money into February!”
#3 - “F#cken’ hell, that’s a bit rough - I thought we were mates!”
Me - “No it’s f#cking not - and no we’re f#cking not”

I bought the remaining share for my wife.


I got annoyed just reading that, WTF is wrong with people??? :evil:
In my first few months in the company, the people in the office ran a $2 lotto thing every week.

I didnt know about it, but they put me in it anyway. One day I got back from a delivery run to the then accounts lady asking me for my $2 since she had covered me.

When I said I didnt have any cash on me, she cracked it and said "I cant afford to keep covering you!"

I walked inside and removed myself from the lotto syndicate I had no idea I was in.

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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Brodlach » Mon Dec 03, 2018 2:04 pm

Considering all the work you have to do to cover for them, the least they could do is cover $2 a week
Last edited by Brodlach on Mon Dec 03, 2018 2:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby PatowalongaPirate » Mon Dec 03, 2018 2:20 pm

No mention that HH3 has paid back the kind lady either.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby mighty_tiger_79 » Mon Dec 03, 2018 2:24 pm

PatowalongaPirate wrote:No mention that HH3 has paid back the kind lady either.

Paid it back 1,000,000/1
Not paid 1/1000
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby HH3 » Mon Dec 03, 2018 2:46 pm

PatowalongaPirate wrote:No mention that HH3 has paid back the kind lady either.
Of course I didnt. I didnt ask her to pay for something I had no knowledge of.

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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby PatowalongaPirate » Mon Dec 03, 2018 7:34 pm

HH3 wrote:
PatowalongaPirate wrote:No mention that HH3 has paid back the kind lady either.
Of course I didnt. I didnt ask her to pay for something I had no knowledge of.

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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Eagles2014 » Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:41 pm

State Government giving $250k to AFL women's, with the Lightning about to go under.

Just does not sit right with me, surely football can survive on its own!
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