I need to know....

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Re: I need to know....

Postby Lightning McQueen » Mon Feb 04, 2019 12:45 pm

The Bedge wrote:What a load for the young lad!

My pop used to pick me up and take me to footy games as a kid, last game of the season I slept over a friends house night before and didn't play last game - team lost by a couple points and missed B&F by a few votes (wouldn't have won it anyway lol).

Anyway my pop was waiting at home when i got there, had come to pick me up.. gave me a stern word along the lines of "If you decide to do something, then you need to give it 100% commitment, see it through and not be half arsed".

Sort of stuck with me forever, and although I have a fair heavy load with sport commitments, i've always ensured they dont clash or impact each other.. guess thats what Darcy has to work out now - what's important to him in terms of priorities and give that his dedication and lay back on the excess.

There would be nothing worse than him going hard now and by the time he gets to 17/18 he's burnt out, tired, over it all and then lost to sport.


There's a massive overlap, he captains one side that he hasn't trained with since October, now he's getting caught up between playing with older mates or playing where he did last year and should this year, he won the B&F in his first year at a new club, the played in the GF, I think he should be out there again.

Yep, I've seen it many times.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Lightning McQueen » Mon Feb 04, 2019 12:48 pm

MW wrote:I'd be more concerned with physical burn out and injuries. That is a lot of activity even for a teenager developing.

I am, along with the mental burnout. I feel like a bad parent at times as sometimes I prefer him to playing fortnite for a break for both of us.

I get excited with the extreme weather so things get called off.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Wedgie » Mon Feb 04, 2019 12:59 pm

I wish my parents had me play less sports as a kid, physically paying for it now and the rest of my life. :(
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Lightning McQueen » Mon Feb 04, 2019 1:06 pm

Wedgie wrote:I wish my parents had me play less sports as a kid, physically paying for it now and the rest of my life. :(


I thrashed my body from about 14 to 22, I know what you mean, it was my fault not there's though, they encouraged me to go away fishing, scuba diving and water skiing most weekends with them, I stayed home by myself though and played sports.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Booney » Mon Feb 04, 2019 1:49 pm

You're a good Dad, I'm sure he's aware of that, perhaps show him a "run sheet" of what his commitments involve for you to give him some balance as to how much he takes on. He might see what you do, realize it's a big ask and it may make him rationalize what sports, commitments are most important to him.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby The Bedge » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:38 pm

I dont know what to do..

Ms Bedge (7) has been becoming a bit more 'different' over the past year and a bit, this morning she was dropped at school as usual, everything seemed same as always. Got a call around 11:30 - she had got out the car, and gone straight to the sick bay saying she wanted her mum.. when i spoke to her on the phone she told me she was sick and told me of cold like symptoms, and she refused to go to class. Tried calling mum, no luck, so my partner dropped everything and headed to the school to pick her up - she refused to leave with her, and in the end went back to class. Frustrating.

Anyway, the school talks to me like i mistreat her when shes with me - been frustraing and makes me feel sick, and i have been stumped to what is causing it.

Then her mum just messaged me and has insisted the issue is my partner. Apparently "she's not nice to her or treat her nice" and wishes "Dad would break up with her and go back to living with Uncle Michael".

I'm lost. First of all, she is treated no different that our other kids, we try hard to include her in every "family" type thing we do, she's always included in our plans etc and my partner does all the running around with school pick ups plus the lunches etc - normal "mum" type stuff, and has so for almost 4yrs now.

What do I do?! Counselling? Obviously these feelings she's having - and if it's making her behave in this manner - aren't going to subside on their own and dealing with her mum is another kettle of fish again.

I just wanna cry.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Booney » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:44 pm

Counselling would certainly be an option, would having a chat with her with her Mum, you and your partner present be a possibility, too?
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Re: I need to know....

Postby The Bedge » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:45 pm

Booney wrote:Counselling would certainly be an option, would having a chat with her with her Mum, you and your partner present be a possibility, too?

Unfortunately not for a number of reasons.

Counselling it is then.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Footy Chick » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:50 pm

That's a hard one.

Take whatever the mother says with a grain of salt, she could be filling her head with anything.

BUT, I've personally known circumstances where new partners have been nice as pie whilst the parent was around but have treated kids terribly when the parent isn't there (compared to other kids).

Your partner isn't going anywhere so will be worth taking advantage to some counselling to get to the bottom of it ASAP
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Lightning McQueen » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:53 pm

The Bedge wrote:
Booney wrote:Counselling would certainly be an option, would having a chat with her with her Mum, you and your partner present be a possibility, too?

Unfortunately not for a number of reasons.

Counselling it is then.

Pretty much, she's probably a little too young to tell you exactly what the problem is, could be a little separation anxiety, a bit of jealousy as now she has to share you when she's with you, not just with her step-mum but with bubs too.

Mine were a bit older and my daughter probably seen it as a relief initially when I got with someone new, she still thinks if my wife goes away that I need company, not the case.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Brodlach » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:30 pm

Just remember with all your troubles recently that she too has had to deal with these issues, not easy for a 7 year old.

As mentioned talk to her and mum in a calm manner and see what she says
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Grenville » Mon Feb 04, 2019 4:02 pm

Wedgie wrote:I wish my parents had me play less sports as a kid, physically paying for it now and the rest of my life. :(


Mine erred a bit in not putting the foot down when I went into year 12. During the winter I had Monday night off, Tuesday footy training, Wednesday squash training, Thursday footy training followed by rugby training, Friday squash game, Saturday footy game, Sunday rugby game. School suffered and I was constantly rooted.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Wedgie » Mon Feb 04, 2019 8:11 pm

Grenville wrote:
Wedgie wrote:I wish my parents had me play less sports as a kid, physically paying for it now and the rest of my life. :(


Mine erred a bit in not putting the foot down when I went into year 12. During the winter I had Monday night off, Tuesday footy training, Wednesday squash training, Thursday footy training followed by rugby training, Friday squash game, Saturday footy game, Sunday rugby game. School suffered and I was constantly rooted.

I was fine academically, physically is the only issue I've had later in life. Doctors dont like to promote it but every doctor I've had has told me playing so much sport as a kid was a huge mistake and a couple of decades of sport will mean many more decades of pain and immobility.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Grenville » Mon Feb 04, 2019 8:43 pm

Wedgie wrote:
Grenville wrote:
Wedgie wrote:I wish my parents had me play less sports as a kid, physically paying for it now and the rest of my life. :(


Mine erred a bit in not putting the foot down when I went into year 12. During the winter I had Monday night off, Tuesday footy training, Wednesday squash training, Thursday footy training followed by rugby training, Friday squash game, Saturday footy game, Sunday rugby game. School suffered and I was constantly rooted.

I was fine academically, physically is the only issue I've had later in life. Doctors dont like to promote it but every doctor I've had has told me playing so much sport as a kid was a huge mistake and a couple of decades of sport will mean many more decades of pain and immobility.


I still did well but could've done better if I'd spent more time in the books.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Spargo » Mon Feb 04, 2019 9:06 pm

Wedgie wrote:
Grenville wrote:
Wedgie wrote:I wish my parents had me play less sports as a kid, physically paying for it now and the rest of my life. :(


Mine erred a bit in not putting the foot down when I went into year 12. During the winter I had Monday night off, Tuesday footy training, Wednesday squash training, Thursday footy training followed by rugby training, Friday squash game, Saturday footy game, Sunday rugby game. School suffered and I was constantly rooted.

I was fine academically, physically is the only issue I've had later in life. Doctors dont like to promote it but every doctor I've had has told me playing so much sport as a kid was a huge mistake and a couple of decades of sport will mean many more decades of pain and immobility.


That is the first time I’ve heard anything like that.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Wedgie » Mon Feb 04, 2019 9:08 pm

Spargo wrote:
Wedgie wrote:
Grenville wrote:
Wedgie wrote:I wish my parents had me play less sports as a kid, physically paying for it now and the rest of my life. :(


Mine erred a bit in not putting the foot down when I went into year 12. During the winter I had Monday night off, Tuesday footy training, Wednesday squash training, Thursday footy training followed by rugby training, Friday squash game, Saturday footy game, Sunday rugby game. School suffered and I was constantly rooted.

I was fine academically, physically is the only issue I've had later in life. Doctors dont like to promote it but every doctor I've had has told me playing so much sport as a kid was a huge mistake and a couple of decades of sport will mean many more decades of pain and immobility.


That is the first time I’ve heard anything like that.

Its very common unfortunately.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby FlyingHigh » Mon Feb 04, 2019 9:49 pm

Reckon you're right Wedgie.
I only played footy and cricket constantly, footy only one team per season, cricket was usually juniors and seniors all day Saturday and kinda now wish the folks had got me into little aths.
Glad I never got too much into hard-surfaced sports, especially at those early-mid teen years, such as tennis and basketball.. Couple of mates were into a variety of sports with a lots of commitments each week, including basketball, and they have stuffed knees. Now obviously not everyone who plays basketball as a teen stuffs their knees, but I'm still glad I didn't play it.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby HH3 » Tue Feb 05, 2019 9:23 am

My father in laws been on me about giving up sport for years. He's had a double knee replacement because of playing footy as a youngster. And he only played one season a year.

I don't have a break from sport at all.

It's what I love to do, and I'll deal with what comes next when it comes.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Booney » Tue Feb 05, 2019 9:29 am

My body goes into some sort of shutdown / convulsive state if I even consider trying to launch something with my right shoulder.

Lifelong memories and friends have replaced my right AC joint and I wouldn't trade it back in at their expense.
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Re: I need to know....

Postby Corona Man » Tue Feb 05, 2019 9:34 am

HH3 wrote:My father in laws been on me about giving up sport for years. He's had a double knee replacement because of playing footy as a youngster. And he only played one season a year.

I don't have a break from sport at all.

It's what I love to do, and I'll deal with what comes next when it comes.

Same here. Last time I saw the father in law he said..... why are you still playing cricket? Simple, I enjoy it. The same reason I umpire a bit of footy, and have a hit of golf when I can.

There are mornings its hard to get out of bed, but I be bloody bored if I didn't do something.
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