Danny Frawley RIP

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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Dutchy » Thu Sep 12, 2019 9:02 pm

Sharksta wrote:
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.


Thats an excellent quote to keep in the back of the mind
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Sharksta » Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:19 am

Rik E Boy wrote:
Sharksta wrote:I’m a survivor. 6 1/2 years down the track. No one had any idea what I was going through at the time - even the psychologist I was seeing. It was the most illogical logical decision fathomable. So distorted had my mindset become. Outwardly I was fully functioning. Internally anxiety and depression and shame at being in an emotionally abuse relationship overwhelmed me.

Often the terms cowardly & selfish are used. I can say that at the time it took all the bravery I could muster & misguidedly thought I was doing the best thing big my family.

Afterwards my life became a chorus of “I wish i knew” & “why didn’t you say anything” type comments. Ironically it opened up a lot of meaningful conversations with family and friends and created a new and lasting depth that can only come with openness and trust.

I spent a couple of weeks in psych hospital, discovered counselling is a lot more effective if you’re honest and vulnerable, & learnt reach out if I was struggling.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I’m grateful everyday that I survived.

Speak up & don’t go it alone. RIP spud. I wish you’d realised how many people loved you & would have been there for you if you could have reached out one more time.


I was stunned when you told me. But after our mutual friend the words cowardly and selfish certainly weren't used. After our friend I did some reading and came to understand that final decision is only ever made when you have absolutely nothing left, you can't fight any more. So glad you stuck around.

regards,

REB


Plenty more beers to drink & cricket to be watched together [emoji4]
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Rik E Boy » Sat Sep 14, 2019 12:32 pm

Sharksta wrote:
Rik E Boy wrote:
Sharksta wrote:I’m a survivor. 6 1/2 years down the track. No one had any idea what I was going through at the time - even the psychologist I was seeing. It was the most illogical logical decision fathomable. So distorted had my mindset become. Outwardly I was fully functioning. Internally anxiety and depression and shame at being in an emotionally abuse relationship overwhelmed me.

Often the terms cowardly & selfish are used. I can say that at the time it took all the bravery I could muster & misguidedly thought I was doing the best thing big my family.

Afterwards my life became a chorus of “I wish i knew” & “why didn’t you say anything” type comments. Ironically it opened up a lot of meaningful conversations with family and friends and created a new and lasting depth that can only come with openness and trust.

I spent a couple of weeks in psych hospital, discovered counselling is a lot more effective if you’re honest and vulnerable, & learnt reach out if I was struggling.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I’m grateful everyday that I survived.

Speak up & don’t go it alone. RIP spud. I wish you’d realised how many people loved you & would have been there for you if you could have reached out one more time.


I was stunned when you told me. But after our mutual friend the words cowardly and selfish certainly weren't used. After our friend I did some reading and came to understand that final decision is only ever made when you have absolutely nothing left, you can't fight any more. So glad you stuck around.

regards,

REB


Plenty more beers to drink & cricket to be watched together [emoji4]


And soon! Got Pakistan this year. They are good for an 8 wickets collapse under lights. :D

Regards,

REB
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Wedgie » Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:13 pm

Wow, they just had a minutes silence in the Rugby League for Spud!
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Booney » Mon Sep 16, 2019 2:45 pm

An open letter, penned by Anita Frawley.

"On Monday, the love of my life was tragically taken from my girls and I. Many have speculated on the cause and lead up to this tragedy.

Danny, as a champion of mental health would want me to continue his legacy and be open with the public of the events leading up to this heartbreak. While the circumstances of the event are unconfirmed and will remain uncertain until the investigations are complete, it was true that Danny’s mental health had deteriorated in recent weeks.

Danny, you were the love of my life and will continue to be until our paths cross again.

As is widely known, Danny had experienced and lived with depression dating back a number of years. But to his credit, he had put up his hand and accepted psychiatric treatment, counselling and medication. He recovered and returned to being the Danny of old.

The road leading up to last Monday’s events began 8 months ago when Danny made the decision to take himself off his prescribed medication.

At this point Danny felt invincible, like the true competitor and proud man that he was; he felt that he had beaten the disease. In fact, he felt bullet proof, which contributed to his decision to remove himself from his support network including his psychiatric care and not continuing to work with his team of mental health professionals.

The reason I am making this public is that I want this to be a reminder to all those grappling with mental health conditions and to those whom have made progress with their wellbeing that you should always seek help from professionals when considering making decisions surrounding your mental health, even when you feel as though you have fully recovered.

Our final memory of Danny is one we will cherish forever, a night spent sitting around our family table, playing board games and laughing on his 56th birthday. He will never be forgotten and will forever be in our hearts. I would like to leave everyone with this quote from Danny, “manning up in the past was to suffer in silence, manning up now is to put your hand up.”

We invite all those who would like to farewell our remarkable man to join us at RSEA Park - St Kilda Football Club, 32/60 Linton St, Moorabbin, VIC, 3189 at 3pm on Wednesday the 18th of September.

We will be wearing a touch of blue in memory of Danny and for the significance of beyondblue, PukaUp and One In Five. To show your condolences, we ask that you please donate to beyondblue in honour of Danny."

Since Monday, there has been a gaping hole in our family which will never be repaired. The girls and I are finding it difficult to accept you are gone and our lives as we knew them will never be the same. We miss you. We will always miss you. Anita xx
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby hollywood7477 » Mon Sep 16, 2019 2:50 pm

Booney wrote:An open letter, penned by Anita Frawley.

"On Monday, the love of my life was tragically taken from my girls and I. Many have speculated on the cause and lead up to this tragedy.

Danny, as a champion of mental health would want me to continue his legacy and be open with the public of the events leading up to this heartbreak. While the circumstances of the event are unconfirmed and will remain uncertain until the investigations are complete, it was true that Danny’s mental health had deteriorated in recent weeks.

Danny, you were the love of my life and will continue to be until our paths cross again.

As is widely known, Danny had experienced and lived with depression dating back a number of years. But to his credit, he had put up his hand and accepted psychiatric treatment, counselling and medication. He recovered and returned to being the Danny of old.

The road leading up to last Monday’s events began 8 months ago when Danny made the decision to take himself off his prescribed medication.

At this point Danny felt invincible, like the true competitor and proud man that he was; he felt that he had beaten the disease. In fact, he felt bullet proof, which contributed to his decision to remove himself from his support network including his psychiatric care and not continuing to work with his team of mental health professionals.

The reason I am making this public is that I want this to be a reminder to all those grappling with mental health conditions and to those whom have made progress with their wellbeing that you should always seek help from professionals when considering making decisions surrounding your mental health, even when you feel as though you have fully recovered.

Our final memory of Danny is one we will cherish forever, a night spent sitting around our family table, playing board games and laughing on his 56th birthday. He will never be forgotten and will forever be in our hearts. I would like to leave everyone with this quote from Danny, “manning up in the past was to suffer in silence, manning up now is to put your hand up.”

We invite all those who would like to farewell our remarkable man to join us at RSEA Park - St Kilda Football Club, 32/60 Linton St, Moorabbin, VIC, 3189 at 3pm on Wednesday the 18th of September.

We will be wearing a touch of blue in memory of Danny and for the significance of beyondblue, PukaUp and One In Five. To show your condolences, we ask that you please donate to beyondblue in honour of Danny."

Since Monday, there has been a gaping hole in our family which will never be repaired. The girls and I are finding it difficult to accept you are gone and our lives as we knew them will never be the same. We miss you. We will always miss you. Anita xx


bloody sad that he took himself off medication and stopped going to his doctor. Prob be still here if he didnt do that
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby JK » Mon Sep 16, 2019 2:54 pm

Fantastic message and openness from Mrs Frawley. Still get a sick in the guts feeling whenever it's discussed, cant begin to imagine what it must be like for those close to him :(
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Booney » Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:04 pm

I reiterate again to anyone who feels they need help, organisations such as Beyond Blue or Life Line are always there.

Your family and friends are always there.

Your GP is always there.

If you feel there is nobody left for you, I'll always be here to lend an ear. There is always someone there.

6 men a day around Australia take their own lives. Everybody has someone who wants you to speak up before it's too late.

I would like to leave everyone with this quote from Danny, “manning up in the past was to suffer in silence, manning up now is to put your hand up.”
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Dutchy » Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:17 pm

Geez that is brave by Anita, I have a brother who suffers badly but we finally got him on the meds and it has made the world of difference especially during winter which is his hardest period each year.

I think the other message is we all need to work on our mental health 24/7, you never get fully on top of it.

I listened to the special Triple M Rub edition yesterday, if you liked Danny its worth a listen, it will put a smile on your face. One of his comments was also true which they repeated all day "its OK to not be OK"
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Hondo » Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:43 pm

There’s still a stigma around meds and psychologists. The ongoing process can weigh sufferers down and create a pressure to get off the supports and be this so called “normal” person. To prove to themselves and others that they are “fixed”.

As I understand the medication needs to be weaned off under medical advice and done very carefully, if at all.

Danny didn’t show to a psych app on that tragic last day so he knew he needed to get the help back in train but maybe in the meantime everything had spiralled out of control. Also he may have been weighed really down with having to climb the mountain so to speak all over again, when he had thought he was past it all.

It’s very sad.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby heater31 » Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:46 pm

Dutchy wrote:Geez that is brave by Anita, I have a brother who suffers badly but we finally got him on the meds and it has made the world of difference especially during winter which is his hardest period each year.

I think the other message is we all need to work on our mental health 24/7, you never get fully on top of it.

I listened to the special Triple M Rub edition yesterday, if you liked Danny its worth a listen, it will put a smile on your face. One of his comments was also true which they repeated all day "its OK to not be OK"
Had it described to me recently that everyone gets depression but most don't require professional help. Those that have too big a trough between their highs and lows are the ones that need the help.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby whufc » Mon Sep 16, 2019 4:05 pm

Just a heads up for those promoting meds/etc.

I've been having recent meeting with distinguished medical professionals and in the next five years you will be seeing a massive push away from the prescription of medication for mental health and a much stronger emphasis on physical exercise.

All recent research shows that increased physical activity is the best and most sustainable method for treating mental health. Releasing endorphins is as great prescriptions.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Hondo » Mon Sep 16, 2019 5:01 pm

whufc wrote:Just a heads up for those promoting meds/etc.

I've been having recent meeting with distinguished medical professionals and in the next five years you will be seeing a massive push away from the prescription of medication for mental health and a much stronger emphasis on physical exercise.

All recent research shows that increased physical activity is the best and most sustainable method for treating mental health. Releasing endorphins is as great prescriptions.


I think it can help for sure but if depression could be cured by exercise alone then no athlete would get it and we know this isn’t true.

I used to know someone who exercised copious amounts to combat depression and found it wasn’t enough. They are still here thankfully.

Plus not everyone is in a position to exercise enough to - age, disability etc

Horses for courses and I think medication and exercise will continue to be pieces of the puzzle and different levels for different cases. If there was a magic bullet it would be great to save the tragedy that is mental health problems but I think we have to be careful to not continue the stigma inadvertently. Only unfit people get depressed ... I know you aren’t saying that specifically but it’s a complicated health issue and easy to come up with simple solutions. Meds included..
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby MW » Mon Sep 16, 2019 5:06 pm

Big difference between exercising and being an elite athlete.
I can vouch for the mental health benefits of exercising after taking up running many years ago.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby whufc » Mon Sep 16, 2019 5:08 pm

Hondo wrote:
whufc wrote:Just a heads up for those promoting meds/etc.

I've been having recent meeting with distinguished medical professionals and in the next five years you will be seeing a massive push away from the prescription of medication for mental health and a much stronger emphasis on physical exercise.

All recent research shows that increased physical activity is the best and most sustainable method for treating mental health. Releasing endorphins is as great prescriptions.


I think it can help for sure but if depression could be cured by exercise alone then no athlete would get it and we know this isn’t true.

I used to know someone who exercised copious amounts to combat depression and found it wasn’t enough. They are still here thankfully.

Plus not everyone is in a position to exercise enough to - age, disability etc

Horses for courses and I think medication and exercise will continue to be pieces of the puzzle and different levels for different cases. If there was a magic bullet it would be great to save the tragedy that is mental health problems but I think we have to be careful to not continue the stigma inadvertently. Only unfit people get depressed ... I know you aren’t saying that specifically but it’s a complicated health issue and easy to come up with simple solutions. Meds included..


Absolutely its not the 'perfect' cure but for the everyday Australian seeing a GP they are going to find it extremely hard to be prescribed medication without evidencing an increase in their physical activity habits as a first point of call.

The move is happening as we speak and the incentives are out there to medical practises who steer their practioner away from the prescription of medication.

I would be very wary of a stigma that the elderly and people with disability still cant do some form of physical activity to their level. Seated fitness is now massive in the fitness industry.

At the centre I manage we run a fitness/activity program for wheelchair bound high level disability clients.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Hondo » Mon Sep 16, 2019 6:24 pm

MW wrote:Big difference between exercising and being an elite athlete.
I can vouch for the mental health benefits of exercising after taking up running many years ago.


For sure no argument with you here. I enjoyed running for the same reason actor.

But to say natural endorphins from exercise are as good as meds doesn’t explain to me why full time professional athletes also suffer from depression. How much more exercise can they do?

I’m all for pushing Doctors to think holistically about each patient and not reach straight away for the prescription,

But at the same time telling someone with depression to go to the gym more will not be the right answer in all cases either.

That said I support anything that helps promote more active lifestyles.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby MW » Mon Sep 16, 2019 6:34 pm

Hondo wrote:
MW wrote:Big difference between exercising and being an elite athlete.
I can vouch for the mental health benefits of exercising after taking up running many years ago.


For sure no argument with you here. I enjoyed running for the same reason actor.

But to say natural endorphins from exercise are as good as meds doesn’t explain to me why full time professional athletes also suffer from depression. How much more exercise can they do?

I’m all for pushing Doctors to think holistically about each patient and not reach straight away for the prescription,

But at the same time telling someone with depression to go to the gym more will not be the right answer in all cases either.

That said I support anything that helps promote more active lifestyles.


That would be the stresses of being a full time athlete.
Think there is a balance there somewhere.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby whufc » Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:11 pm

Hondo wrote:
MW wrote:Big difference between exercising and being an elite athlete.
I can vouch for the mental health benefits of exercising after taking up running many years ago.


For sure no argument with you here. I enjoyed running for the same reason actor.

But to say natural endorphins from exercise are as good as meds doesn’t explain to me why full time professional athletes also suffer from depression. How much more exercise can they do?

I’m all for pushing Doctors to think holistically about each patient and not reach straight away for the prescription,

But at the same time telling someone with depression to go to the gym more will not be the right answer in all cases either.

That said I support anything that helps promote more active lifestyles.


Please don’t mistake increased exercise for having to go to a gym. A gym is one of 4 billion ways a person can exercise.
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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby whufc » Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:19 pm

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Re: Danny Frawley RIP

Postby Hondo » Mon Sep 16, 2019 8:31 pm

MW wrote:That would be the stresses of being a full time athlete.
Think there is a balance there somewhere.


It could be that

It could be genetics, personality or a lot of other things or combinations of all those things.

They still don’t know everything there is to know about it. It’s a terrible disease.
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