Things that give you the sh1ts

Anything!

Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Pseudo » Sat Jun 07, 2014 10:23 pm

Self-assembly flat pack furniture.

"Assembly time two hours", said the instructions.

Two hours my hairy white arsehole.

Started around 11 AM. Took a half hour break for lunch, and the same for dinner, and a tea break at some point. Ended up giving the final twist of the allen key at 9 PM.

I'm tired, my limbs are sore, I have a headache, and if anyone ever presents me with an allen key again I'm going to shove it up their clacker.
Clowns OUT. Smears OUT. RESIST THE OCCUPATION.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby mighty_tiger_79 » Sat Jun 07, 2014 10:30 pm

ikea?
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Pseudo » Sat Jun 07, 2014 10:36 pm

Le Cornu. Which means we paid about three times as much for the same level of frustration.
Clowns OUT. Smears OUT. RESIST THE OCCUPATION.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby bennymacca » Sat Jun 07, 2014 10:54 pm

Pseudo wrote:Self-assembly flat pack furniture.

"Assembly time two hours", said the instructions.

Two hours my hairy white arsehole.

Started around 11 AM. Took a half hour break for lunch, and the same for dinner, and a tea break at some point. Ended up giving the final twist of the allen key at 9 PM.

I'm tired, my limbs are sore, I have a headache, and if anyone ever presents me with an allen key again I'm going to shove it up their clacker.


lol what were you building?
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby dedja » Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:01 am

small coffee table ...
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby nuggety goodness » Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:21 am

dedja wrote:small coffee table ...


I was gonna say photo frame...
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby woodublieve12 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 9:18 am

Sis in laws partner has a chest virus/cold/cough and is contagious... My wife is 32 weeks pregnant and my daughter is under the age of 2.

NOW WHY THE **** WOULD COME ANYWERE NEAR MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER WHEN YOU DON'T NEED TOO YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!! CHUCK IN MY SIS IN LAW INTO MY GRIPE, SHE SHOULD ALSO KNOW BETTER!!!!

Now my wife is starting to feel crook!!! Thankfully my daughter hasn't felt crook yet...

I bloody hate sis in laws partner, she is a dead set piece of sh*t
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby am Bays » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:27 am

woodublieve12 wrote:Sis in laws partner has a chest virus/cold/cough and is contagious... My wife is 32 weeks pregnant and my daughter is under the age of 2.

NOW WHY THE **** WOULD COME ANYWERE NEAR MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER WHEN YOU DON'T NEED TOO YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!! CHUCK IN MY SIS IN LAW INTO MY GRIPE, SHE SHOULD ALSO KNOW BETTER!!!!

Now my wife is starting to feel crook!!! Thankfully my daughter hasn't felt crook yet...

I bloody hate sis in laws partner, she is a dead set piece of sh*t


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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Phantom Gossiper » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:31 am

woodublieve12 wrote:Sis in laws partner has a chest virus/cold/cough and is contagious... My wife is 32 weeks pregnant and my daughter is under the age of 2.

NOW WHY THE **** WOULD COME ANYWERE NEAR MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER WHEN YOU DON'T NEED TOO YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!! CHUCK IN MY SIS IN LAW INTO MY GRIPE, SHE SHOULD ALSO KNOW BETTER!!!!

Now my wife is starting to feel crook!!! Thankfully my daughter hasn't felt crook yet...

I bloody hate sis in laws partner, she is a dead set piece of sh*t

:lol: Sorry, the content of the post isn't funny, and i'm sorry the wife is sick, but the passion in these sentences brought a smile to my face :)

In all seriousness though, very thoughtless, i have a few mates whose partners a pregnant at the moment or have little kids, and I wont go around them if im sick nor would I expect them to come bring their virus' to my daughter
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Phantom Gossiper » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:42 am

The amount of work coming back to after a long weekend, then realising i've got one less day to get on top before i get swamped with more work Friday :(

Will no doubt be spending the next few weeks catching up.. now if only i can stay off SAFOOTY for a while..
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby heater31 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:52 am

Phantom Gossiper wrote:Will no doubt be spending the next few weeks catching up.. now if only i can stay off SAFOOTY for a while..


@Footy Chick & I can arrange this if you like ;)
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby heater31 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:05 am

Clients who blatantly lie to my work colleagues about things that I discuss with them face to face.....

And work colleagues that have no clue and lie to clients about things I
tell them face to face ;)


You can't win :twisted:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby woodublieve12 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:23 pm

Phantom Gossiper wrote:
woodublieve12 wrote:Sis in laws partner has a chest virus/cold/cough and is contagious... My wife is 32 weeks pregnant and my daughter is under the age of 2.

NOW WHY THE **** WOULD COME ANYWERE NEAR MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER WHEN YOU DON'T NEED TOO YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!! CHUCK IN MY SIS IN LAW INTO MY GRIPE, SHE SHOULD ALSO KNOW BETTER!!!!

Now my wife is starting to feel crook!!! Thankfully my daughter hasn't felt crook yet...

I bloody hate sis in laws partner, she is a dead set piece of sh*t

:lol: Sorry, the content of the post isn't funny, and i'm sorry the wife is sick, but the passion in these sentences brought a smile to my face :)

In all seriousness though, very thoughtless, i have a few mates whose partners a pregnant at the moment or have little kids, and I wont go around them if im sick nor would I expect them to come bring their virus' to my daughter

From the moment i met this chick i have had a really bad feeling about her...

Very immature, attention seeker... Talks about sh*t....

Here's something else gave me the sh*ts,
i qoute some thing she said about my daughter.. "She's so cute i wanna punch her"..... Are you bloody serious??? Who says that...

On a funny note she has the ability to talk alot of crap and make stuff up which is pretty amusing.. More to the point i enjoy laughing at her not with her...
This is another true story... My birthday is september 11th... My wife talking about my birthday and what to get me (i obviously wasn't there) after a brief pause, spaz chimes in with (we already knew her for a year or two prior to this) "My nan and pop was supposed to be on that plane which flew into the towers"... YOU KIDDING ME OUT OF NO WHERE YOU BRING OUT THIS MASSIVE STATEMENT.... She was at my birthday the year before and never mentioned it... Spaz
There is sooooo many more, she the type of person where you could say you have a pussy cat, then she'll chime in with i have a tiger... spaz
she has also put on heaps of weight and always wears inappropriate attire... fat spaz...
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"Fellas, it’s OK to be in pain. It’s OK to hurt. It’s OK to be sad. It’s no longer OK to suffer in silence."
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Phantom Gossiper » Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:27 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby mighty_tiger_79 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:37 pm

woodubelieve - you need to start a new thread that has a daily quote from her, sounds like there are some crackers you could share for us!
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby HH3 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:02 pm

What about a "Quote of the day" type thread, where we can all put dumb shit people say in one convenient place.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Failed Creation » Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:05 pm

HH3 wrote:What about a "Quote of the day" type thread, where we can all put dumb shit people say in one convenient place.


Name it after me?

I have a bad case of foot-in-mouth...
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby woodublieve12 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:13 pm

Another one...

"i have cradle cap"... Mother in law replies, "you can't, only babies get that and you are an adult. You have dandruff"... Spaz responds "nah i definitely have cradle cap"... Mother in law just rolls her eyes.

Mother in law has been a peadiatric nurse for roughly 30 years....
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Failed Creation » Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:22 pm

woodublieve12 wrote:Another one...

"i have cradle cap"... Mother in law replies, "you can't, only babies get that and you are an adult. You have dandruff"... Spaz responds "nah i definitely have cradle cap"... Mother in law just rolls her eyes.

Mother in law has been a peadiatric nurse for roughly 30 years....


That's gold!
Politicians kissing babies for good luck,
TV preachers sell salvation for a buck.
You don't need no golden cross to tell you wrong from right,
The world's worst murderers were those who saw the light.
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Re: Things that give you the sh1ts

Postby Spargo » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:58 pm

HH3 wrote:What about a "Quote of the day" type thread, where we can all put dumb shit people say in one convenient place.

You're leaving yourself wide open there champ.....
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