Unwatchable..the TV shows you refuse to watch

[Rik E Boy]

I am one fussy bugger when it comes to TV. I've got '15 Channels of shit on the TV to chose from (to chose from)' so why should I bother watching reality TV, girlie flicks or anything that isn't sport or shows a healthy amount of T&A to satisfy my perverted voyeurism. REBs blacklist at the moment includes but is not limited to....

1. AUSTRALIAN IDLE

I come from a family of musicians (mostly Blues and Folk) and I find this glorified beauty pageant insulting to my intelligence. The sales that these pinups generate is an affront to every talented musician currently not signed by a recording company.

2. HOME AND GO AWAY

Of course there are many of these types of shows but this particular pile of steaming vomit seems the most purile and vapid. Everyone cares about each other, every teen is slim and attractive, the problems faced are all neatly wrapped up and every December comes the inevitable 'cliffhanger'. News flash kids...people don't give a shit.

3. THE FOOTY HO

Every year SA footy fans complain about the stale antics of Sam Newman and that bunch of Victorian idiots. It's like ordering fertilizer and complaining that it smells like shit. I get offended by this show and you could hardly call me the typical SA football supporter. I don't understand how loyal Crow and Power fans can continually line up to be beaten over the head by Victorians desperately clinging to any scrap of percieved superiority they can seeing as Melbourne has now watched the last six premiership cups fly away. Sam Newman's point-scoring over brainless ferals is pointless, embarrassing and downright offensive. Hey, I can laugh at myself (I'm a Cat fan after all) but this shit just aint funny.

4. COUNTDOWNS (20 to 1..50 Hottest Celebs etc)

So what do you do when Reality TV starts to slip in the ratings? You can't bring in any scripted Television because all of the writers have killed themselves in despair. And what do we do with Bert Newton and other useless artefacts from past decades? Also, how do we fill our prime time while maximising our profit? Simple...we'll have a what year was it, 20 to 1 or if you are E we'll have the '50 biggest coke sniffing celebrities' countdown show. It will generate 'water cooler discussion' and it will appeal to Baby Boomer nostalgia (it aint what it used to be folks). In the end it equates to even more appalling television. Hey, does anybody remember when they used to show movies on Sunday nights?

5. CSI Cookie Cutters

Here's another great idea. Instead of coming up with seven shows with seven different themes or premises, why don't we just have the one premise in seven different US cities. Brilliant!! While we are at it we can glorify the fantastic social trend of serial murder, child kidnapping and deprevation of liberty...all in the name of science, entertainment..I mean ratings!! Surely one of these series would be enough? How many times will America attempt to push David Caruso on to us? The guy is a dud!! If you are really interested in real crime or forensic science and pathology I recommend Crime and Investigation channel on FOX. If you don't have pay TV read some books - CSI type shows are littered with scientific inaccuarcies and fallacies of crimonology.

6. DOCTOR WGAF

Surely the medical drama has flatlined? After watching ER, some people start to talk about medicine like they know something about it. Why did those blokes study so hard for all those years when all you have to do is watch a medical drama to become an instant expert?? It's sort of like when you watch the Olympics and suddenly become the world's formost authority on Platform diving. Put on the white coats and drag this shit away.

7. AMERICAN RIP OFFS OF ENGLISH COMEDY

You know the ones, like The Office for example. Let's face it, apart from a select few Americans just aren't funny. Even the more sophisticated American sitcoms such as Seinfeld were relying on visual humour (Kramer)..the kind of humour that would make a five year old laugh which is the mental involvement of the majority of American viewers I suppose. The Yanks are too dopey to come up with anything original so they rip off an English idea and run it into the ground. When they do, they run that into the ground as well. The amount of Seinfeld rip offs on FOX these days is scary.

8. ROVER

Say no more. This guy is just dreadfull. WOOF. Bad Dog.

9. BIG BROOHAR

A bunch of dumbass youngsters with tight buns and big tits and a hottub and cameras on moving blankets at night. What interesting output could this bunch of underwhelming bozos possibly provide to the viewer? **** all your honour. How much money do they generate through voting off the dickheads? Plenty. Perhaps we could organise a 'piss of Big Brother' fund so we can get rid of this rubbish. Why intelligent people contribute to this intellectual vaccum is beyond me. If you want sex, get porn.

10. HOKEY POKE MON

I know this for kids but to me this is the 'Energy Chocobot Hour' that the Simpsons were lampooning. We'll come up with all of these dodgy Japanese things and sell the cards and merchandise to clueless kiddies and their long suffering parents. Of course, Power Rangers was probably the original chocobot hour but Pokemon has started off a frankly alarming amount of imitators. If I slip over on one more Yugi-DragonBall-Pokey-Beyblade card I'm gonna sue the bastards.

So there you go. Freedom of choice..is what you got..Freedom from choice..is what you want.

regards,

REB

[MW]

I agree with most of it but I like The Footy Show and Rove

[Booney]

Another from the REB vault of classics.

[Rik E Boy]

I agree with most of it but I like The Footy Show and Rove

What are your 'unwatchables'?

regards,

REB

[MW]

My No. 1 unwatchable would be all those countdown 20 to 1 shows, hate them....especially the "celebrities" commenting on each item...pffft. Who gives a **** what Jules from Getaway thinks or that carpenter from Backyard Blitz

[Booney]

Neighbours-See Home and Away
Dancing with the Stars-Say no more.
Celebrity Overhaul-Its their fault they are fat.
Biggest Loser-See Celebrity overhaul
Backyard Blitz-Gives women the impression a backyard can be transformed by a few mates and yourself in a weekend,with out beer.
Rove-feel for the bloke in this shocking time he is going through,hate his show.

I do like anything with Jennifer Hawkins,a bat and or ball.

Ed Phillips is better then Tony Barber ever was,and for some reason I'm getting more right.Questions must be getting easier.

I also like "Before the Game",when applicable.

[JK]

Well said REB .. With the exception of the Seinfeld critique.

I watch buggerall on free-to-air these days because I don't see much there of interest ... To be honest my viewing pretty much just consists of Foxtels Sport, Movie and Music coverage ...

[Rik E Boy]

Well said REB .. With the exception of the Seinfeld critique.

I watch buggerall on free-to-air these days because I don't see much there of interest ... To be honest my viewing pretty much just consists of Foxtels Sport, Movie and Music coverage ...

I've actually held up Seinfeld as a better example of American comedy. However, the Kramer visual humour comment is valid. The entry, the arrrrrrrrrrrch hand signal to halt the tone or topic of conversation..all very visual in style. My comment was, hey, even the best American shows are still relying on visual humour, the most unsubtle comic tool in the comedic arsenal.

regards,

REB

[Rik E Boy]

,and for some reason I'm getting more right.Questions must be getting easier.

.

Quiz shows are aimed at generally an older audience. It's a bit like Jabba's quiz nights..he used to ask questions that were relevant to him which is why our table who were the same age or older than Jabba (apart from your good self) used to be fairly hard to beat (Pfft fairly hard to beat two from two IIR). The oldies didn't have a clue about the dodgy 70's rock Jabba liked and the youngsters didn't have a clue when the Opera House was opened (neither did Jabba LOL, he reckoned it was 1974, do you remember that one?).

The older you get, the more you become a part of the target demographic and the more questions are relevant to your life experience. Either that or you are a genius LOL.

regards,

REB

ps - if you are nailing them on Jeopardy, then you are a gun. Helps if you know a lot about America though. r

[Rik E Boy]

Who gives a f*** what Jules from Getaway thinks or that carpenter from Backyard Blitz

Ha ha. Top comment.

regards,

REB

[Booney]

Ill run with the genius bit.

B

[JK]

Well said REB .. With the exception of the Seinfeld critique.

I watch buggerall on free-to-air these days because I don't see much there of interest ... To be honest my viewing pretty much just consists of Foxtels Sport, Movie and Music coverage ...

I've actually held up Seinfeld as a better example of American comedy. However, the Kramer visual humour comment is valid. The entry, the arrrrrrrrrrrch hand signal to halt the tone or topic of conversation..all very visual in style. My comment was, hey, even the best American shows are still relying on visual humour, the most unsubtle comic tool in the comedic arsenal.

regards,

REB

Understand what you're gettting at mate, and don't disagree that there is plenty of visual gag element in the programme, just think there's more to the humour than just that (ie, idiosyncrasy based storylines, characters individuality, character interaction in group environment etc).

Start up a channel that runs continual repeats of the Young Ones and I doubt I'd ever watch anything else though ...

[Jimmy]

my unwatchables are what the wife is watching now...barbara wah wah's 10 most fascninating and anything relating to celebrities like the insider and E news shows....

any home makeover shows and idol or tear jerkers like building houses for the unfortunate (not against it, just dont like watching it)

i only like sports really

[Rik E Boy]

Ill run with the genius bit.

B

Thought you might LOL.

regards,

REB

[Booney]

i only like sports really

So what is with the basketball based avatar then?

[Rik E Boy]

i only like sports really

So what is with the basketball based avatar then?

Yep, you can add that shite to unwatchables as well. Ice Hockey, Baseball, NFL...Americans have got NFI.

regards,

REB

[our_longreach]

What about the show with the b grade celebrities debating whether or not speedos are better than boards shorts...WTF is that all about???

[mick]

Pretty well anything that originates from the USA and all reality TV. Apparently we get the best oft the American crap here, God help the poor buggers who live there, 200+ CHANNELS OF CRAP,

[ORDoubleBlues]

My No. 1 unwatchable would be all those countdown 20 to 1 shows, hate them....especially the "celebrities" commenting on each item...pffft. Who gives a f*** what Jules from Getaway thinks or that carpenter from Backyard Blitz

Agree with that one and as I've already said it's hard to take serious anyone who's commenting on something that happened before they were born or were still in nappies.

For mine it's any television show where allegedly 'the viewer votes on what happens' (unless of course you vote for something that we here at Channel HQ thinks is going to affect ratings, then we'll change what you voted for to suit ourselves)

[Leaping Lindner]

What about the show with the b grade celebrities debating whether or not speedos are better than boards shorts...WTF is that all about???

It's about complying with your Australian quota whilst paying sweet FA to do so. Just the cost of a studio, cameramen etc and chucking a few bucks at D Grade celebrities and a wanna be news reader for the host. Whilst we are on the subject what terrible thing did we ever do as a country to get stuck with Leo Sayer.

I generally can't stand reality TV shows but I don't mind that one the ABC has on at late at night - "Parliament Question Time". It's one of the funniest shows I've seen. You can't write stuff that funny. I just wish they'd show the mobile phone numbers to ring to vote the members "out of the house".