Fisho's Frolics

[Booney]

I'm NEARLY desperate enough to go on one of these sites, but now I'm not sure if my attractive, articulate, mid-20's dream is actually some balding 40 year old dude...

Any Port in a storm mate, any Port in a storm.

[JK]

I'm NEARLY desperate enough to go on one of these sites, but now I'm not sure if my attractive, articulate, mid-20's dream is actually some balding 40 year old dude...

Mate, desperation has nothing to do with it, they can be a good place to hook up ... But NEVER EVER EVER trust Studio photo's!!

[Media Park]

Mind you, I don't know what pic of myself I'd put on there...

[fisho mcspaz]

I forgot to give my imaginary dating site guy a picture. I'll have to draw one with MS Paint.

[Media Park]

I forgot to give my imaginary dating site guy a picture. I'll have to draw one with MS Paint.

Do you need a Mr McSpaz???

[fisho mcspaz]

I've got one already but he wouldn't thank me for putting his picture up on that website!

[fisho mcspaz]

I thought I would blog my attempt to make Hu Tieu tonight.

Basically, Hu Tieu is a Vietnamese adaptation of a Chinese-Cambodian soup. There are several variations, but the basic elements are a pork bone broth and noodles, plus a whole heap of toppings to go with it. Ideally I'd want to use dried squid and shrimp in the broth as well as pork; for noodles I'd choose tapioca as opposed to rice stick or Chinese egg noodles; as for the toppings, I can have just about whatever I want as long as I include Chinese celery, chives, sliced pork (prawns or squid can substitute in a seafood version) and caramelised shallots.

Here's the rub. I don't have a single one of these ingredients.

What I do have are a brace of chicken carcasses, a chicken breast fillet, spring onions, mung bean thread noodles, lettuce, lemons, various un-Asian herbs and spices and a bottle of nuoc mam (Vietnamese fish sauce).

I might be attempting something out of my depth here.

The end result is supposed to look something like this:

goddamn_soup_that_wont_look_like_mine.jpg (134.65 KiB) Viewed 883 times

God knows what it actually WILL look like.

Anyway, I'm off to check on the stock and I shall return later with updates. One thing's for certain - the MasterChef contestants would be committing suicide over this one. They couldn't even make schnitzel without bursting into tears.

[Media Park]

We'll be expecting a picture of your finished efforts...

[fisho mcspaz]

Well, the stock is simmering on the stove. I was supposed to use pork bones, dried squid and shrimp, and something else that I can't remember. Instead, I am using chicken bones, a carrot and an onion. I am hoping that the vegetables will think they're seafood and behave accordingly. This is not totally unprecedented, i. e. 'Grains don't grow up to be chips!' The chicken was revolting - I had to rip the carcasses apart because I wasn't strong enough to cut through them with a knife. Lots of slimy red and purple things inside the rib cage, which I took a photo of for everyone's enjoyment.

While that's going on, I'm going to suss out how to cook the bean thread noodles, never having used them before. I imagine you just put them in a bowl and soak them in hot water. I'm not chucking them straight in the soup because they'll end up overcooked and gluggy like Gollum's arms. 'Nasssssty noodlessssss in precioussssss ssssssoup!' We can't have that. Mr McSpaz will eat it regardless of what it tastes like because he won't want to hurt my feelings, but I'd still like it to turn out right.

For the toppings I'll chop up some spring onions and lettuce, pan-fry the chicken breast in a splash of soy sauce and slice it thinly - unless it falls to bits and has to be shredded - and send Mr McSpaz down the Foodland to pick up some chili, coriander and chives. With a lemon wedge and a dash of nuoc mam it should be apples.

[fisho mcspaz]

Oh yeah - might I add that I'm doing this while simultaneously washing last night's dishes, organising my eldest son's dinner and rocking my youngest son in his pram? I'd like to see THAT on Poh's bloody Kitchen.

[A Mum]

OMG Fisho - I am going to have to start calling you superwoman !!

You go girl !!

Not to mention also blogging on safooty.net at the same time

Hope it works out for you
and yes photos of the finished dish would be lovely - but you can keep the 'insides of a chicken' ones...lol

[fisho mcspaz]

Decided to do the chicken in the oven instead and brush with a marinade.

To make the marinade, I've simply chucked in a few spoonfuls of oyster sauce, a squeeze of lemon... hang on, what the? This isn't a lemon, it's a bloody yellow lime! This is a pleasant surprise because I thought lime might actually work better with the other flavours, but it cost $1.50 more than the lemon. Ha! Fisho 1, Supermarket 0. Anyway, I've also used a bit of some Master Foods honey/soy/garlic sauce crap I found in the deepest bowels of the pantry. The end result: REVOLTING. Can we say 'donkey bile?' We certainly can, Jimmy Giggle! (In addition to my household duties, I've been stuck with the kids' shows on ABC2 for background noise.) However, in theory it should taste better after it's been baked into the chicken for half an hour or thereabouts, so I brush the fillet with la marinade dégoûtant and hope for the best.

By the way, the chicken fillet reminds me of something really, really revolting, so naturally I have taken a photo of it which I will post later along with what it reminds me of.

[fisho mcspaz]

Bloody bollocking bullocks, the stock has all this greasy crud floating on top and I can't seem to get rid of it even with a tea strainer. On the plus side, underneath its slimy coating the flavour is perfect, like a slug with innards of gold. The hallmark of this soup is the stock; it's supposed to be extremely light in consistency while retaining a full-bodied flavour. Haha, I'm starting to sound like a real wanker now, in the vein of wine connoisseurs. Someone should slap me if I start going on about the tannins or the sprightly notes of melon because it means that I have gone over to the Dark Side.

[fisho mcspaz]

All done! Pictures and conclusion to follow shortly - got to get the kids off to sleep and find the whatsit that plugs into the camera.

[Alaska]

Fisho.... You are doing all the right things just a step out on each:
If you had added the nuoc mam to the stock it would have passed as “fantastic authentic”
All marinades need three things acid, oil and flavour, you have supplied two but a dash of olive oil would have improved the texture and flavour.
Stock should be made the day before so you can easily peel off the fat.
But I am impressed with your style especially under the pressure, unfortunately been there done that and have a lot of failures to show for it so go for it.
I will be interested in how you tried to separate the greasy crud because that will have the biggest affect on the taste.
Also I notice the oldest doesn’t get the same food?
I know I have one to infact separate meals for up to 4 different tastes have been the norm for 15 years (just adds to the excitement) but beware your two boys now may turn to four hungry mouths later.

[fisho mcspaz]

Fisho.... You are doing all the right things just a step out on each:
If you had added the nuoc mam to the stock it would have passed as “fantastic authentic”
All marinades need three things acid, oil and flavour, you have supplied two but a dash of olive oil would have improved the texture and flavour.
Stock should be made the day before so you can easily peel off the fat.
But I am impressed with your style especially under the pressure, unfortunately been there done that and have a lot of failures to show for it so go for it.
I will be interested in how you tried to separate the greasy crud because that will have the biggest affect on the taste.
Also I notice the oldest doesn’t get the same food?
I know I have one to infact separate meals for up to 4 different tastes have been the norm for 15 years (just adds to the excitement) but beware your two boys now may turn to four hungry mouths later.

I did add nuoc mam to the stock, and olive oil to the marinade. I got the greasy crud out using a combination of tea strainer and dessert spoon. I shoved it in the fridge for ten minutes so it solidified a bit and was easier to scoop out.

On school nights I feed Angus earlier because he's tired from school and Mr McSpaz doesn't get home until about 7pm. I could probably have got Angus to try the hu tieu but I don't think he'd have liked the chili, the coriander or the spring onions. He's a peas and broccoli boy.

[Alaska]

Well done Fisho doing everything right!

[fisho mcspaz]

The soup was a success!!!!! I am so pleased because this is my favourite food ever and I've been wanting to make it for years but was discouraged by previous efforts with simpler soups. I first tried this at the Central Markets as a kid and I loved it. Now that I can actually cook it as well, I feel that I have achieved something great. I just can't believe that it turned out so well, considering I had almost none of the right ingredients!

Here's a photo of the lovely chicken carcass that formed the base of the stock:

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And the stock itself - which looks like it's composed of dead bodies and vomit chunks, in my opinion.

stock.jpg (36.1 KiB) Viewed 775 times

Thirdly, here's my marinated chicken fillet - and its doppelganger. I do apologise for this one.

YUCK.jpg (121.09 KiB) Viewed 774 times

Read on to see the final product...

[fisho mcspaz]

Ta daaaaaaa!!

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hurray_for_soup.jpg (47.62 KiB) Viewed 777 times

the_godfather_of_soup.jpg (41.16 KiB) Viewed 776 times

[Media Park]

That looks edible...