My quest for taking it easy on these Division IV minnows is gathering apace after undefeated Glory sunk Pigs Arsenal by 21 points in a quality contest. Permstance is looking good after flogging Hodgey and Port Fever stayed on top after proving too good for Paragone. Strong performances also by The Heat who are looking to make the Divvy IV finals for the first time and Star Midfield who squashed Benno's Busts. A couple of teams had the best kinds of wins of all where you score bugger all and still win. It's better to score crap than win than score well and get done and Robsquad and Fantasy Virgin managed did just that with Robsquad in particular rounding up large helpings of lucky bastard pie beating the Bikers by 9 points with his majestic 1667.
regards,
REB
Thanks REB for your weekly reports - I do enjoy reading them to see how my Robsquad are doing. Yes, I agree i did claim victory in Round 4 by scoring a majestic 1667 and enjoyed large helpings of lucky bastard pie. However, after Round 3 Robsquad was sitting in 11th spot in Div 4 and was the highest scoring team for the season at that stage - clearly the Robsquad had been given large helpings of unlucky bastard pie in those first 3 rounds. It was good to change pies for Round 4. Thanks for all your good work in running the Hogg year after year. Cheers.
Politicians kissing babies for good luck,
TV preachers sell salvation for a buck.
You don't need no golden cross to tell you wrong from right,
The world's worst murderers were those who saw the light.
Division V this may be but several teams are punching above their weight this season. Usually Divvy V has a couple of big fish swimming in the small pond but this season there are a number of legitimate premiership chances. Coxy obviously one of those but even though they remain undefeated they certainly had a fight on their hands as they narrowly defeated Cellar Dwellars in a top quality match. Random Crow is my niece and she is footy mad but normally this does not transalate to good SuperCoach form but not so this season. Young Sadie cleaned up an unlucky PowerFailure who scored well but didn't get the points. Hampstead Hawks and Go Tiges continued with their strong form while West Coast Wonders bounced back with a solid win. Kudos to Razorbacks and backhoes for reverting to their normal form. I was beginning to get worried there for awhile about those two blokes. It's like Essendon winning, that shit just can't continue.
Hodgey's Heroes have fired a warning shot across the bow of the Division IV contenders with a bold showing over the hibernating Killer Wombats who appear to be scampering down into their relegation burrows for the season. Speaking of Bold, Division V winners Bold City have announced that they do belong in this division after they trounced Guidance, displacing the former Divvy II man from the top eight. Port Fever and Glory continued their strong start to the season with Ports racking up 2200 to sink Fantasy Virgin who has started scoring after a slow start to the season. No win for Amy this week though. The Heat dodged the Stewart-Zork bullets as Biker Babe was not at her best. The Ginger Ninjas fell over the line against league caboose Benno's Beasts who were stiff not to open their account on the weekend. Mid table sides Pigs Arsenal, Brodlach Bombers and Star Midfield had important wins which meant several teams slipped down the table this round.
Anytime Turtles have turned into the Teenage Mutant Ninjas Turtles this week as they unleaished an astonishing 2353 to sink the luckless Adelaide Crows. There's nothing worse than looking at the fixture and seeing a struggling oppo during the week then copping hell on the scoreboard during the match as they go on to top the scoring for the league. And not just the league, the entire Hogg. Awesome performance from the Turtles. Undefeated True North and Pigs Arsenal managed to remain that way after fighting off strong challenges from Bont and Ryan. Youngy has been searching for his first win all year and went within a Bee's appendage of doing so but fell short by a mere 14 points against contender Brad's Rookies. Hawkers have been scoring very well this year but is having issues winning matches and this week they got rolled by Flysflagpues who are starting to get back into their flying 2025 form.
Everything's coming up Millhouse for Failed Creation as they march on undefeated on top of Hogg Division II after five rounds. Smashed Crab were the latest victim as they are on the flipside with a zip five record and stone motherless last. While Creation was doing their smashup routine, the pre-season number one seed Ugly Ducklings were dragged down into relegation scrap territory as they dropped a nailbiter to Power Rules who were on the happy end of a five point result. 2213 was the magic number this week as Cathy creamed the Cobwebs and the Cobras finally opened their account as they cleaned up Pigs Arsenal. Skehan topped the scoring for the round as they cleaned up wycbloods who did not deserve the 89 point loss that he ended up with.
How does the Zedman do it? Another lowish score, another win for the Force who are sailing along unbeaten at the top Surely the Zedman has something up his sleeve and that when his scoring does buck up a juggernauht may move all the way up to the Premier League next season. GETOUT remains hot on Zed's heels with another win but Chops Clots and Herbs'N'Spices dropped a match to fall back into the pack a little. Kings Army's fortunes turned around a little as a result of the big win over Herb. Meanwhile, fallen idol the Indians dropped another match and are starting to look a bit too comfortable in the relegation zone for May-Z's liking.
The Dukes made a cracking start to their first ever Premier League campaign but in recent weeks they've gone off the boil a little bit and that form continued as league leader FISH took them down to remain top of the table. Summer of George remained in the top group as they outclassed a REBCats combination who threw away a captaincy score in order to keep up which predicitably backfired. Poon got that winning feeling back as did Captain Who while Headbutters and Mediocre also went well. DAISY is now the only team with a burger ring in the W column after Cowpokes upset the Sharks to record their first ever Premier League victory. Wigg , Eckys and Yardsick are all teams who need a win sooner rather than later but right now it's FISH over Georgie boy at the top of the class.
There's a few Divvy V coaches punching above their weight division this year and as a result there could be some massively lopsided matches in this league in 2026. West Coast Wonders and Hampstead Hawks didn't get the memo as the West Coast recovered from their wonky start to the season to square the ledger with a three point nailbiter over the Hawkers. The Eagles are now circling the top eight while the Hawks are still clinging to unfamilar top four areas but with a big match against high scoring Go Tiges next week. Doxy continues to dominate this league and even though the Devils had a red hot go (wait for Howie to trot that one out in a few years), Doxy was too strong and they don't look like losing at this stage. Random Crow is going to beat better sides than Norf but they went up to second after the Hawks had their stumble and Fine Wines cracked the top eight after deservedly rolling an injury riddled Autopick combination. Even though it's not even May yet you can Visualise how things will be looking here in August. I reckon you could put a line through the bottom five and the Allstars right now and I'd be very surprised if Doxy, Random Crow and Go Tiges aren't playing Divvy IV next season.
With ANZAC Day approaching your mind wanders back to the classic 1995 draw. In Divvy IV this week the spirit of 95 was alive and well as Port Fever and Guidance played out the first draw of the season. It was something of a slip up for Fever who dropped the leadership of the league along with two points in the draw against Guidance. It must have been happy hour in Division IV as several top six sides had a stumble. Not only did Fever lose top spot but Gingernuts and Permstance both got rolled. Another top eight side in Hodgey copped a loss as well when they were on the wrong end of a scoring barrage by Bold City who made something of a statement last weekend. Hogg rookie Paragon had his most impressive win of his career to date as they walzed by Ginger Ninjas but the real winners this week were the top sides who got the job done. The Heat outclassed the Bombers while Trades of Glory made it a perfect six as they killed the wombats.
It was the upsets that weren't. The premiership table sbows that lower ranked teams popped the bubble of league leaders True North and Pigs Arsenal but a closer look shows that Anytime Turtles and particularly Adelaide Crows are two teams who are scoring well but for some reason not quite getting the wins on the board. All that changed on the weekend with two teams that could afford to drop a match duly doing so. One thing you cant afford though, is when you are on the bottom of the ladder and you cop the highest score of the league against you. Youngy's season went from bad to worse when Chicken Twisities unleashed a massive 2352 to hand out a 307-point destroyation on the winless Young Ones. Bont also got an important win as they cleaned up The Bye, at least one Bont managed to score some points last weekend as the one in my side sure as shit didn't. Not that I'm bitter mind you. While Twisites was having a cruzy weekend, it wasn't the same at **** Park as Crow Call had to scratch and fight all weekend to hang on for a two point victory in a nightmare result fo Sarah's Dream. Big winners this week were the teams chasing North and Pigs Arse and anyone who didn't have Bont or NWM.
regards,
REB
Last edited by Rik E Boy on Tue Apr 21, 2026 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Cobras are back in town but on the bottom of the table all at the same time after they suffered a heartbreaker at the hands of the league leaders Failed Creation. Cobras traded in Heeney and Trac this week but that wasn't enough to stop Creation who have been the best team in the Hogg so far this season. Meanwhile, the only team with less wins than the Snakes got themseelves a new badge and and finally won their first game to get off the bottom of the ladder. Meanwhile, most might be wondering when the real wycbloods might stand up after the on again off again crew were well and truly on after racking up 2333 to smash the Ugly Ducklings. It was a solid round for Greedy Guns who took out fellow top four aspirant Cathy's Cream while Crowmag was another side to defeat top eight opposition to stay on track for the season.
ZedForce's bubble has finally burst and their conquerors Port-A-Potties have swooped on top spot as fellow contenders Jays Jocks and GETOUT both dropped their round 6 matches. There wee a couple of close ones this week with Chops Clots sneaking over the line against GETOUT while HORNE stood up against The Kings Army who have been struggling to string wins together so far this season. Marty McFly's impressive Div I season continued as the TigerRoos ran out of time and Slothy has slowly but surely staked their top eight claims once again with a comfortable victory over Herbs'N'Spices. The Indians are in unfamiliar territory at the bottom of the table after Some Cant won their first Divvy I match against Harryshawks. Coro's Cuckoos got the job done against the Indians and are the leading scorer in the league so far this season. They will be watching the scoring efforts of Zed in partiucular now that his winning run has ended.
Could this be the year of the FISH? While you aren't winning the title in late April, you are banking wins and the FISH is doing the beautifully so far this season. The latest edition was over the other high scoring team in Hondo. FISH got the job done and held Hondo at bay which leaves the reigning premier the Captain as the main threat. Some of the top teams in the Premier are at the northern end of the Hogg scoring so far this season and this week the Captain is number one once again and hot on the heels of the mighty FISHman. Another two time premiership winner Mediocre is back to his former glory days and they are sitting pretty in the top eight after dismantling Pooly on the weekend That mighty exhalation of breath that you heard on Sunday evening was one of relief for DAISY who finally broke through for his first victory of the season. The sky is the limit now for DAISY now that he is finally on the board. A few teams are looking a bit wobbly right now with REBCats and Poon on the outer edges of the eight, Yarkdstick who are slipping down the ladder and The Dukes who have now dropped three straight matches. Spare a thought for Cowpokes who went to the bottom of the table after posting a decent score against the Captain only to get rolled. Now easy games in the Premier League as you'd expect, now it's time for a lift to get back into the top 100.
West Coast wonders have barged into the top eight after smashing out a massive 2319 in a 189-point destroyation of Fine Wines who were unlucky to lose by such a large amount considering that they scored a decent score themselves. Doxy remained on top of the ladder but only after an improved effort from a plucky HereComesTheSun combination. Random Crow had a setback as they dropped their match against top eight Port Champs while Go Tiges went from strength to strength after they swooped to sink Hampstead Hawks. Red Devils and Razorbacks both collected vital wins to stay in touch with the top eight while backhoes scored pretty well again and are unlucky to still be propping up the ladder in last spot.
Unbeaten Glory and second ranked Port Fever have scooted away from the pack after seven rounds after a few of the lower ranked teams turned up to play with varying results. It looks like everyone except Killer Wombats is well and truly in this competition with a couple of the stragglers opening their account and beginning the long road back. Benno's Beasts got off the bottom of the ladder by opening their account with an upset victory over top four side The Heat. Biker Babes have been nowhere near it this season but on the weekend they unleashed a 2302 which stunned the Brodlach Bombers. Giants Legends also upped the ante but the fell short of Permstance who only just saw off the Giants challenge and bounced into the the top four after Gingernuts lost out to Fantasy Virgin. In fact, close matches were the order of the day with 5 matches being decided by 30 points or less.
Division III got moving on the weekend as three teams went big. In form Anytime Turtles and Hawkers both scored 2373 while Blighty Teasdale racked up 2369 in a strong performance from some of the mid ladder teams. At the top of the table True North remained there after getting the job done against Pigs Arsenal who didn't get much of a score turning the top of the table clash into something of a fizzer. At the other end of the table Youngy finally broke through for their maiden Divvy III win as they overcame a suspect Fightin Ryan but Youngy will need to up the ante to keep up with some teams who have suddenly found a rich vein of scoring form. There's a massive logjam of teams from third all the way down to 16th so the next few weeks will an intense jockeying for positions as everyone makes their finals bid. Although True North has led the way so far this season Anytime Turtles is now scoring through the roof and is looming as a significant challenger.
