Nurses (desk calendar) Jokes, Antidotes, etc (no pics)

[MightyEagles]

This is from another desk calendar.

Each night, driving to work, I silently affirm: there is energy and healing in my hands. - Karen Buley.

[dedja]

Doh, was expecting to see photos ...

[Squids]

Worst thread of the year has already been won.

[MightyEagles]

Doh, was expecting to see photos ...

Where did it say photos?

[Rik E Boy]

Pics or GTFO.

regards,

REB

[MightyEagles]

Topic renamed slightly. If there were pics, I wouldn't be putting them on here.

[am Bays]

[Pseudo]

Cor! Check out the antidoes on that one!

[MightyEagles]

True Tale - In the urology department, our jobs have everything to do with your most private parts, including vasectomies. One day, one of the biomedical techs came around asking for the semen ultrasound so she could inspect it. I politely told her that we didn't have a semen ultrasound, the semen samples were turned over to the lab for evaluation. She should go over to the lab for the semen ultrasound. After about twenty minutes or so, the tech come back and told me she found it She brought me over to the "Siemen" (brand) ultrasound that we us to do prostate biopsies.

[Q.]

I am twelve and what is this?

[Squids]

teen misc ------->

[Mr Beefy]

i think it was an antidote, more commonly known as as anecdotes

[cracka]

Topic renamed slightly. If there were pics, I wouldn't be putting them on here.

I reckon let the pics in. Especially if they're like the one a few posts above.

[MightyEagles]

If you what, I'm not a mod. I was talking about me.

Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situation the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.

[MightyEagles]

Though weighing only eleven ounces on average, a healthy adult heart pumps two thousand gallons of blood through sixty thousand miles of blood vessels each day. Grateful patients know nurses' hearts are larger and stronger than most.

[Mr Beefy]

Stuff the antidotes

*EDITED BY MODERATORS - best not to post that on here. Thanks*

[Mr Beefy]

Stuff the antidotes

*EDITED BY MODERATORS - best not to post that on here. Thanks*

did the mod watch it, there was nothing in it

[MightyEagles]

Lessons Learned from Patients.

- Drinking lots and lots of sweat tea will not help your body "get used to having diabetes"
- If you are working under a car with a gas leak, don't use a flame for a light source.
- Never get into a kicking match with someone who has a prosthetic leg.

[MightyEagles]

Nursing in 1903

Every physician recognizes the importance of good nursing. In the treatment of disease medicinal agents are necessary to combat the various symptoms as the arise, but it is equally important that the surroundings of the patient should be so arrange that he may be supported and tided over the critical period of his illness. It is not too much to say that in many illnesses good nursing is more than half the battle. When a man is seriously ill he is practically as helpless as a child , and can neither think nor act for himself .... The sick man sends for his doctor, and nurses are provided on whom rests the responsibility of seeing that he is properly cared for, and that no advantage is taken of his helplessness. The trust is a sacred one, and for the honour of the nursing community is rarely or never abused.

[The Sleeping Giant]

When are we going to get penthouse forum style ones?