BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby locky801 » Sun Nov 23, 2025 4:45 pm

Another week for all the gronks around Australia

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 23/11/25
1. Shepparton, VIC - Deadshit steals car with baby in it after it was left there by its shit mum
2. Townsville, QLD - Grub wanks in shop for more than 3 hours, continues after being arrested
3. Brisbane, QLD - **** accused of racist attacks on Asians calls magistrate a c-nt and claims to be US President in court
4. Bankstown, NSW - Drongo sets himself on fire while firebombing cars
5. Alice Springs, NT - Feral kids pelt The Ghan train with rocks, smashing 20 windows; gronk arrested after allegedly chasing people down street with knife
6. Logan, QLD - Grub writes all over multiple cars with poo
7. Melbourne, VIC - Free concert cancelled after crowd smashes through barriers; business owner filming marketing video accidentally captures grub taking a shit next to his car
8. Adelaide, SA - Gronk climbs crane and walks out on to its arm; woman spends $50k fighting $100 ‘double parking’ fine that she got for being stuck in traffic, resident makes 133-hour phone call
9. Batemans Bay, NSW - Gronks allegedly steal cash machine from country club after setting fire to KFC to distract emergency services
10. Bindoon, WA - Alleged armed carjacker and sex pest taken down by middle-aged dad in Spongebob undies
Life is about moments, Create them
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby locky801 » Sun Nov 30, 2025 11:39 am

For this weeks fantastic edition

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 30/11/25
1. Brisbane, QLD - Piece of shit allegedly leaves his dog to die inside car that he dumps and falsely reports stolen while he goes to brothel; mad fan rips out handful of Lenny Kravitz’s dreadlocks
2. Perth, WA - Gronkess fined $2k for trying to hide bag of meth in miniature dachshund’s arsehole; gronk tasered after running on house roofs, trying to steal police car, stealing police hat and threatening cops with syringe; councillor charges ratepayers for drink in strip club
3. Alice Springs, NT - 12-year-old charged after allegedly robbing servo at knifepoint
4. Melbourne, VIC - Convicted murderer sues for right to eat Vegemite in prison; brick bandits nick $30k worth of merch from Lego store
5. Kalgoorlie-Boulder, WA - Residents launch petition to move wastewater treatment plant that makes whole city smell like shit
6. Port Lincoln, SA - Gronk allegedly steals road grader and crashes it into car
7. Mildura, VIC - Aggro motorcyclist smashes car’s mirror, climbs on bonnet and holds on until driver drops him at police station; bloke manages to rack up $107,000 in fines
8. Adelaide, SA - Drongo duo arrested after flagging down cops while on bail and in possession of weapons, graffiti gear, ice pipe and stolen scooter
9. Beaconsfield, TAS - 3m gorilla statue stolen from roof of house
10. Pakenham, VIC - Pair of loose bulls smash car and smear shit on it while being chased through suburban streets by police car, two people on horses and shirtless man
Life is about moments, Create them
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby dedja » Sun Nov 30, 2025 11:53 am

Pirie?
Dunno, I’m just an idiot.
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby locky801 » Sun Nov 30, 2025 11:58 am

dedja wrote:Pirie?


Still Sh?t evidently
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby Kahuna » Sun Nov 30, 2025 11:59 am

dedja wrote:Pirie?


Can't guess that one dedja?
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby dedja » Sun Nov 30, 2025 12:05 pm

Kahuna wrote:
dedja wrote:Pirie?


Can't guess that one dedja?


There are no dumb questions. :-s

:D
Dunno, I’m just an idiot.
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby Kahuna » Thu Dec 04, 2025 9:41 pm

A drunk wanders in to a church, enters a confessional booth but says nothing. The preist coughs to get his attention but the man remains silent. The preist knocks half a dozen times on the partition. Drunk finally responds "give it up mate, no paper in this one either".
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby locky801 » Sun Dec 07, 2025 12:59 pm

another great week of people as jokes of human beings, gronks ass wipes, you name it

SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 7/12/25
1. Melbourne, VIC - Teacher allegedly stabs principal; 11yo allegedly stabs classmate; dickhead allegedly fires arrows at special needs school for 4 months
2. Penrith, NSW - Thugs hijack Uber Eats driver’s scooter in broad daylight; deadshit allegedly leaves dogs to die in train station bike locker
3. Adelaide, SA - 4 feral teens charged over shopping centre double stabbing
4. Launceston, TAS - Grub jailed for robbing hotel with metal pole before chucking cup of spew and shit all over prison guard
5. Gold Coast, QLD - Trio of 12-13yo kids arrested after allegedly crashing stolen car; birds in park keep dying due to suspected poisoning; porn stars run ‘sex university’ for Schoolies
6. Deniliquin, NSW - Pair of feral teens charged over high school fire that destroyed 30 classrooms
7. Townsville, QLD - Shit ex-mayor found to have lied to voters about military service, cancer diagnosis and uni qualifications, leaked confidential council documents
8. Newcastle, NSW - Gronk allegedly bashes bloke with bong during climate protest
9. Traralgon, VIC - Gronkess blows over alcohol limit while test driving car
10. Port Pirie, yes you guessed it
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Re: BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

Postby Armchair expert » Sun Dec 07, 2025 2:09 pm

The local smoke shops got raided this week so hopefully some shenanigans occur and Pirie gets back into the top 5
dammit pantera this beer is warm
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