Things that make you laugh

[Lightning McQueen]

Was at the local pool yesterday in Burra which i manage when i served a lady coming to watch her childs swimming lessons.

Really pleasant asked if she could come in and whether she had to pay.......once i served her i turned around to see the 18 yo new lifeguard flapping about and jumping up and down on the spot like little a kid.

When i asked her what she was doing she responded with......'dont you know who that is'.........i had no bloody idea.

Well it was Cate Blanchett as she is filming a film in and around the mid north region. Her daughter is attending the local school due to their being no tutors available in the region.

Tell her you loved her role in Carol & Therese

[PatowalongaPirate]

She was at Skillogalee on Saturday.

She asked me for a drink but I told her we all know where that will end up.

She thought you were the waiter as you were just hanging around.

[Jimmy_041]

https://www.escape.com.au/travel-advice/i-flew-to-tokyo-in-jetstars-business-class-heres-what-it-was-like/news-story/56c500185b5f90fde1766ebef58238d7

Mrs Jimmy and I flew Business Class to Denpassar pre-Covid

Our above seat luggage space had been taken up by the attendant putting someones pram from Cattle.
Not a problem - pulled it out. Now it's the attendant's problem again

Despite being in 2A & 2B, and only a half full cabin:
"We've run out of that option for dinner"
"Sorry, I dont eat fish"
"We dont have anything else"
"What's Cattle eating?"
"The beef stirfry"
"errrr, that's what I wanted but you had run out"
Get beef stirfry.........

Mrs Jimmy's TV wouldn't work
My seat was broken and kept falling back
You can imagine my response to the attendant when he told me to put my seat up for take off.
"Here mate - show me how its done"
"You'll have to sit over there for TO and landing"
So, Mrs Jimmy moves to new seat for the TV and I move to another seat

Half way through the flight with about 4 attendant lights on; no attendant to be found for 20 minutes. Nearly all were asleep

Landed ontime

Memorable experience..............

[gazzamagoo]

She was at Skillogalee on Saturday.

She asked me for a drink but I told her we all know where that will end up.

Down her throat?

[gazzamagoo]

She was at Skillogalee on Saturday.

She asked me for a drink but I told her we all know where that will end up.

She thought you were the waiter as you were just hanging around.

The head waiter?

[Brodlach]

Live cross on The Today Show talking about the soccer and an English punter comes up to the camera and says “f@&k those French c&$ts”

[Dinglinga75]

England losing !!!!! LOL!!!! at least it wasn't in a penalty shoot out

[mighty_tiger_79]

So interstate visitors complain about our Sunday trading when it was 11am

Melbourne at 9.30am on a Monday and everyone seemingly still asleep

[Jim05]

So interstate visitors complain about our Sunday trading when it was 11am

Melbourne at 9.30am on a Monday and everyone seemingly still asleep

Melbourne CBD is dead these days and not sure it will ever recover. Tourist are still staying away and many offices have either downsized for staff to WFH or have relocated to the burbs

[amber_fluid]

So interstate visitors complain about our Sunday trading when it was 11am

Melbourne at 9.30am on a Monday and everyone seemingly still asleep

Melbourne CBD is dead these days and not sure it will ever recover. Tourist are still staying away and many offices have either downsized for staff to WFH or have relocated to the burbs

It’s picked up recently.
I was in the CBD Thursday/Friday for work and it was almost back to normal.
I was there in late august and it was still empty.

Changed a lot in 3 months.
Docklands was a lot busier this time round.

[Jim05]

So interstate visitors complain about our Sunday trading when it was 11am

Melbourne at 9.30am on a Monday and everyone seemingly still asleep

Melbourne CBD is dead these days and not sure it will ever recover. Tourist are still staying away and many offices have either downsized for staff to WFH or have relocated to the burbs

It’s picked up recently.
I was in the CBD Thursday/Friday for work and it was almost back to normal.
I was there in late august and it was still empty.

Changed a lot in 3 months.
Docklands was a lot busier this time round.

Currently the lowest hotel occupancy rate in the whole of Australia and still has the most vacant commercial properties in any capital city.
The wife’s Melbourne office had over 80 staff and all WFH on a 4 day per week split so the office moved out into the Western suburbs and the building they were in is something like 85% empty now and the cafe on the ground level shut shop

[Corona Man]

So interstate visitors complain about our Sunday trading when it was 11am

Melbourne at 9.30am on a Monday and everyone seemingly still asleep

We are asleep please keep the noise down MT!!

[amber_fluid]

So interstate visitors complain about our Sunday trading when it was 11am

Melbourne at 9.30am on a Monday and everyone seemingly still asleep

Melbourne CBD is dead these days and not sure it will ever recover. Tourist are still staying away and many offices have either downsized for staff to WFH or have relocated to the burbs

It’s picked up recently.
I was in the CBD Thursday/Friday for work and it was almost back to normal.
I was there in late august and it was still empty.

Changed a lot in 3 months.
Docklands was a lot busier this time round.

Currently the lowest hotel occupancy rate in the whole of Australia and still has the most vacant commercial properties in any capital city.
The wife’s Melbourne office had over 80 staff and all WFH on a 4 day per week split so the office moved out into the Western suburbs and the building they were in is something like 85% empty now and the cafe on the ground level shut shop

Those stats don’t reflect the amount of people in the CBD I saw.
I’m there regularly for work and it was literally dead up until this trip last week.

Not sure if people Xmas shopping or not but shops and streets were definitely a lot busier.
Our office/building in docklands was probably back to 50% capacity.

[Dutchy]

My work now insisting that staff work at least 3 days per week, preferably 4, from the office

[Jim05]

[quote="mighty_tiger_79"]So interstate visitors complain about our Sunday trading when it was 11am

Melbourne at 9.30am on a Monday and everyone seemingly still asleep

Melbourne CBD is dead these days and not sure it will ever recover. Tourist are still staying away and many offices have either downsized for staff to WFH or have relocated to the burbs

It’s picked up recently.
I was in the CBD Thursday/Friday for work and it was almost back to normal.
I was there in late august and it was still empty.

Changed a lot in 3 months.
Docklands was a lot busier this time round.

Currently the lowest hotel occupancy rate in the whole of Australia and still has the most vacant commercial properties in any capital city.
The wife’s Melbourne office had over 80 staff and all WFH on a 4 day per week split so the office moved out into the Western suburbs and the building they were in is something like 85% empty now and the cafe on the ground level shut shop

Those stats don’t reflect the amount of people in the CBD I saw.
I’m there regularly for work and it was literally dead up until this trip last week.

Not sure if people Xmas shopping or not but shops and streets were definitely a lot busier.
Our office/building in docklands was probably back to 50% capacity.[/quote]Oh it was definitely busier there on my most recent trip and as you said I think it must be all the Christmas shoppers out in force. The F1 sold out in record time and with some other events on the horizon it would be nice to see the tourists return because they are well down in that department currently

[Jim05]

My work now insisting that staff work at least 3 days per week, preferably 4, from the office

My wife’s work has now gone to a 9 day fortnight. They work an extra hour each day to compensate. They have also gone to 5 days per fortnight WFH so she only goes in 4 days per fortnight now. Their Melbourne offices are something like 7 or 8 days per fortnight WFH.

[Jimmy_041]

My work now insisting that staff work at least 3 days per week, preferably 4, from the office

My wife’s work has now gone to a 9 day fortnight. They work an extra hour each day to compensate. They have also gone to 5 days per fortnight WFH so she only goes in 4 days per fortnight now. Their Melbourne offices are something like 7 or 8 days per fortnight WFH.

One of my mates has closed down their Collins St office and moved out to the burbs.
25 - 30 people now working from Toorak Rd and home
He reckons he will save $50-100k pa when you take into account rent etc and carparks

[Booney]

I love how Walker doesn't even try to hide how stupid he is.



The Cold War between former Adelaide captain Taylor Walker and commentator Kane Cornes has erupted again.

An abusive text message sent from Walker’s phone on Friday night shocked Cornes and his children who were in the car with him when it arrived at 8.51pm.

The Port Adelaide premiership player was returning home with his two boys after watching the NBL game between the Adelaide 36ers and Perth Wildcats, and had just pulled into the McDonalds drive-thru when his phone beeped.

“My phone beeped, it was sitting in the car holder. We looked at it and it read: ‘You are a weak c***’,” Cornes said.

“I was like, ‘My goodness what have I done now?’ I get prank calls a lot, usually from private numbers as people are smart enough to hide their identity.

“I thought I’m going to call it and the boys thought it was hilarious so I did.”

The call wasn’t answered, instead it went through to Walker’s message bank. Cornes has since checked the number and confirmed it definitely belonged to the Crows full-forward.

[am Bays]

I LOL when I read that

I mean texting that to Kane, where do you think it was going to end up???

[Jimmy_041]

Anyone got Cornes' no?
I've got a burner I can use to send the same message