Sex with a table?

[Dogwatcher]

http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=8082496

Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
Posted: March 28, 2008 08:54 PM
Update on picnic table indecency case
Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with picnic table


Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table.

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BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.

Police say Price admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.

"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor," Johnson explains.

The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance.

"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.

Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.

"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a neighbor.

This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.

[smac]

Don't let my wife read that he lasted 1.5 hours, I'll be in all sorts of strife - told her it's impossible.

[therisingblues]

Don't let my wife read that he lasted 1.5 hours, I'll be in all sorts of strife - told her it's impossible.

Maybe if he glued a picture of Uma Thurman on it he'd get done a bit quicker. I think that tantrics actually close their eyes and try to imagine picnic tables in order to make the act last longer, and therefore heighten the climax.

[Psyber]

It reminds me of the passage in that old novel "Portnoy's Complaint" about the family roast.
http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/ ... nt,00.html

[Booney]

Don't let my wife read that he lasted 1.5 hours, I'll be in all sorts of strife - told her it's impossible.

1.5 hours? I have trouble thinking of someone at times myself...

[Pseudo]

Glad to see I'm not the only one who reads http://www.dailyrotten.com

[Dogwatcher]

Psuedo - I actually got it through uselessjunk.net/forums

[JK]

On a table - Fair enough ... But IN a table!!!

[silicone skyline]

In a cruel twist, apparently the wife ran off with the umbrella

[rod_rooster]

In a cruel twist, apparently the wife ran off with the umbrella

[therisingblues]

In a cruel twist, apparently the wife ran off with the umbrella

Niiiice! Love it Sky!

[JK]

LMAO .. Very good SS

[locky801]

Sounds like another story from HAnson Road

[RoosterMarty]

In a cruel twist, apparently the wife ran off with the umbrella

that is quality

[Dogwatcher]

Bloody hell, don't build him up too much!

[silicone skyline]

Buttercup baby

[LaughingKookaburra]

Do you reckon the table went on top when he was tired?

[Punk Rooster]

did the table get off too?
or was he only thinking of himself?

[johntheclaret]

Did he open the table legs 1st

I hope he used protection. We don't want any little accidental coffee tables

[Rik E Boy]

"Honey will you lay the table please"

regards,

REB