Humour: Great Quotes of the AFL

[Wedgie]

I got this email today, I recognised a few from a previous email of soccer quotes so obviously doctored to a degree but very funny none the less:

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Shane Wakelin)

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Mick Malthouse - Collingwood

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Peter Bell - Fremantle - on his University Law studies.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height," and "you guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Barry Hall Sydney Captain at training.

Brock Maclean (Melbourne) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." Kevin Sheedy on James Hird.

Jonathan Brown, on night Grand Finals vs Day Games "It's basically the same, just darker."

Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, Barass, I don't know and I don't care.'

Barry Hall (Sydney) when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first."

"Luke Hodge - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago."
Dermott Brereton)

"Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." (Mark Williams)

"He scored that goal after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." (Dermott Brereton)

"We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then they scored." (Ben Cousins, West Coast Eagles)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." (Luke Darcy)

"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." (Dermott Brereton)

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football - but none of them serious." (Adrian Anderson)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Andrew Demetriou)

"I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL, but there are none better." (Dermott Brereton)

"I never comment on umpires and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Terry Wallace)

Garry Lyon: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?"
David Swartz: "On what?"

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." (Dermott Brereton)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." (Dermott Brereton)

[Strawb]

Isn't it interesting on what we say when the camera is rolling and the brain isn't.
Did you ever stop to think and forget to start.

[Gilly]

Not an AFL quote but amusing all the same. The LifeFM commentator at the North v West game a couple of weeks ago made this comment when a player was lining up for a shot at goal, "If you know the ground, he's just in front of the Prospect Cricket Club and if you don't know the ground, he's still gonna kick it from there".

[duncs7]

Dermott has come up with some shockers! The slow motion one was a classic.

[Dutchy]

"Bateman passes to Burlow, the Hawks are attacking alphabetically" Dennis Cometti

Ive got some more at work Ill put up tomorrow

[Ian]

Not AFL, but still footy related.

Yesterday I was at AAMI with my son for a year 6/7, 9 a side comp, his coach and I were looking over at a team from down the Port area, and there was a 6 footer in their side.
My son's coach says "Year 7 was the best years of his life"

[Dutchy]

More Cometti GOLD!

"The umpire's done himself a mischief"

"Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his
arms like they're playing My Sharona"

"Ugle playing on Peter Matera, fumbling around for the ball and probably
his autograph book..."

"A couple of big touches from Clive Waterhouse, who was battling up
until about 5 minutes ago, in danger of becoming Clive Waterboy."


Dermott: And the ball spills free to Kickett...
Cometti: Troy Cook you mean?
Dermott: Yes.. well, they do look rather alike.
Cometti: How so Dermott?
Dermott: (realising that sounded rather racist.) Umm, well, they are
both..er..
Cometti: ..Midfielders, yes Dermott.

Commetti: "McVeigh, bobbing like a cork in the ocean"
[Cue applause from all in the Nine box, as it was the debut "cork in the
ocean" call for the season]
Commetti: "Well, it was cork material..."

DENNIS:"Whhhhoa CUMMINGS no it was almost a Modra like attempt we can
see here in the replay"( As Cummings is in the air slow motion)
DENNIS:"Modra,Modra,Modra..." (cummings gets no where near the ball
looking like a clown) "CUMMINGS"

On former Magpie, Crow and now Cat, Brenton Sanderson: "He goes much
better as a mammal"

On Corey McKernan's poor form: "He's like a long jumper who can't reach
the sand."

"I love that surname Fixter. Sounds like something from a Batman movie
-The Fixter...but I digress..."

"There's talk of Karl Langdon offering his services to St Kilda, as if
it wasn't bad enough being in 15th position"

Last night when Richmond kicked up the middle towards Ray Hall:"Richmond
attack through the corridor in this case the Hall."

[Blue Boy]

More Cometti GOLD!

"The umpire's done himself a mischief"

"Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his
arms like they're playing My Sharona"

"Ugle playing on Peter Matera, fumbling around for the ball and probably
his autograph book..."

"A couple of big touches from Clive Waterhouse, who was battling up
until about 5 minutes ago, in danger of becoming Clive Waterboy."


Dermott: And the ball spills free to Kickett...
Cometti: Troy Cook you mean?
Dermott: Yes.. well, they do look rather alike.
Cometti: How so Dermott?
Dermott: (realising that sounded rather racist.) Umm, well, they are
both..er..
Cometti: ..Midfielders, yes Dermott.

Commetti: "McVeigh, bobbing like a cork in the ocean"
[Cue applause from all in the Nine box, as it was the debut "cork in the
ocean" call for the season]
Commetti: "Well, it was cork material..."

DENNIS:"Whhhhoa CUMMINGS no it was almost a Modra like attempt we can
see here in the replay"( As Cummings is in the air slow motion)
DENNIS:"Modra,Modra,Modra..." (cummings gets no where near the ball
looking like a clown) "CUMMINGS"

On former Magpie, Crow and now Cat, Brenton Sanderson: "He goes much
better as a mammal"

On Corey McKernan's poor form: "He's like a long jumper who can't reach
the sand."

"I love that surname Fixter. Sounds like something from a Batman movie
-The Fixter...but I digress..."

"There's talk of Karl Langdon offering his services to St Kilda, as if
it wasn't bad enough being in 15th position"

Last night when Richmond kicked up the middle towards Ray Hall:"Richmond
attack through the corridor in this case the Hall."

Yes Dutchy Gold !!!

[RoosterMarty]

Commetti is a genious!

[Rik E Boy]

Not an AFL quote but amusing all the same. The LifeFM commentator at the North v West game a couple of weeks ago made this comment when a player was lining up for a shot at goal, "If you know the ground, he's just in front of the Prospect Cricket Club and if you don't know the ground, he's still gonna kick it from there".

That's all right Gilly, most of Wedgies weren't either.

regards,

REB

[Rik E Boy]

"Bateman passes to Burlow, the Hawks are attacking alphabetically" Dennis Cometti

Ive got some more at work Ill put up tomorrow

Dutchy. Bring back the hotty.

regards,

REB

[Dutchy]

you have lost me REB...

[Rik E Boy]

..your old Avatar mate.

regards,

REB

[Dutchy]

Shes loading....

[Mr66]

During a hectic period early in last 1/4 when the Eagles were making a surge at
North in Round 1, this gem came from the RPH boys, "We don't know what's going on
out there,we're only calling the game!"

[XXXXRooster]

Just found a couple of old AFL yearbooks with some of the yrs quotes in them

heres a few gems from 1990

I love playing footy, money is secondary-Brad Hardie

We dont complain at carlton-John Elliot

This season anyone could beat anyone, and vise versa-Paul Salmon

now onto 1992

Fitzroy have never been happy anywhere, They are the biggest whingers in the business-Ian Collins(now hasnt that comment come back to bite a few bums!!!)

We're in the first year of a god knows how long policy-Robert Walls, of course the then coach of the Bad News Bears

Most supporters are pretty okay, but there is definitely something wrong with Collingwood supporters, They are just not normal people-Allen Jakovich

[Ian]

Most supporters are pretty okay, but there is definitely something wrong with Collingwood supporters, They are just not normal people-Allen Jakovich

That's not funny, that's just sssooooo true

[MightyEagles]

J.Dyer (bomber great) - If you don't mind Umpire, Please.

[GWW]

J.Dyer (bomber great) - If you don't mind Umpire, Please.

Is that referring to Jack Dyer from Richmond?

[Rik E Boy]

J.Dyer (bomber great) - If you don't mind Umpire, Please.

LMAO!!