A DAY AT THE RACES with punky,tiger and bayman

[mal]

I will never forget the day we all went to the races about 10 years ago.
I of course was winning but the other 3 were doing their balls.
this is how the conversation took place in the betting ring -
PUNK - MT79 - BAYMAN were nearly broke.

PUnk said lets pool all our coins and have a bet to get out.
the boys pooled $20 between them and then there were arguments about which horse to back.
eventually BAYMAN suggested they all go to the toilet and pullout their dicks and measure the inches and however many inches they had they would back that horse.
BAYMAN produced 6 inches
MT79 produced 3 inches
PUNKY produced an inch.

this made the selection number 10, which was 50/1.

the horse led all the way and won and the boys collected $1,020.

BAYMAN threw 20 on the bar and then split the winnings.

'I collect 600, mt79 gets 300 and punky gets 100.'

punky was furious that he only got 100 and asked why. BAYMAN said 'i get 600 for 6 inches. mt79 gets 300 for 3 inches and you get 100 for that lousy inch that you produced'.

Punk threw a tantrum in the middle of the betting ring. and said ' fellas thats still not f*****g fair that i only get a 100 and besides if i didnt have a FAT we would have backed number 9'.

[another grub]

why dont we organize a footySA gambling room marquee at the races one day.... I could organize it. It would be good to meet you guys. Let me know if anyone is interested. I could bring 'trackman scoob' where I get most of my tips from.

[Dissident]

I'd be in that - not that I atually have any "tips" - just bets!

[Dan Patch]

Err, nice story mal, but I am having difficulty believing it. There are obvious exagerations, plus ten years ago we were all metric.....now No.10 in mm, that might be believable.

The best racing film I have ever seen is, "Let It Ride", with a great story and very believable characters.

On the same basis, there is a greyhound film on the ABC tonight (or more Weds. morning, starting at 1.00AM)
called "Jumping for Joy" about skullduggery at the greyhounds in England, Starring a whole barrell of English actors. Not as good as the Australian film "Silent Partner", but as you lot appear to all be awake at that crazy hour, I'm sure you will enjoy this oldy.

And does anyone else know any good racing,punting,gambling type films................and I have just remembered a crazy N.Z. film called "Came a Hot Friday"....now that had the best betting system I have ever heared about. You can always pick at least seven (and sometimes 8 winners) on an eight racing program........

[Punk Rooster]

Mal is banned from the Gambling Room for 1 month!

[mighty_tiger_79]

should MAL be completely banned, the joke is an absolute shocker, but his tips have been quite good lately.

in a month his hot run may have gone terribly sour

[mighty_tiger_79]

that sounds good havin a day out at the races or something, id prefer to go to the trots as you can get free entry before 5pm and its good during summer when the carnival is on, i hate paying money to get into the races, dogs and trots!!!!!!!!!!

[another grub]

Aliright what about a marquee or something at the trots. If you guys are keen let me know some idea on numbers and a date and I'll organize it with my mate in catering.
I still get into him about the soggy $3 hot chips and cold hotdogs.

[zoo poo]

grub nothing wrong with the chips just your doughy brain .

[mighty_tiger_79]

AG

you dont need a marquee at the trots, just eskies full of beer and the fly spray for the mozzies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bayman]

I will never forget the day we all went to the races about 10 years ago.
I of course was winning but the other 3 were doing their balls.
this is how the conversation took place in the betting ring -
PUNK - MT79 - BAYMAN were nearly broke.

PUnk said lets pool all our coins and have a bet to get out.
the boys pooled $20 between them and then there were arguments about which horse to back.
eventually BAYMAN suggested they all go to the toilet and pullout their dicks and measure the inches and however many inches they had they would back that horse.
BAYMAN produced 6 inches
MT79 produced 3 inches
PUNKY produced an inch.

this made the selection number 10, which was 50/1.

not a bad joke an oldy but a goody but to get serious for a minute i remember when we were all at the cricket & one of the windies players were in the toilet standing next to punk & he said to punk you've got a w & y tatt on your ol' fella what does that mean man ? he said that when aroused it says wendy after his mrs, just then punk caught out of the corner of his eye the cricketers apendage & punk said i've noticed you've got a w & y tatt as well & is your mrs called wendy to ? he said no man my tatt says 'welcome to jamaica i hope you have a lovely holiday'

the horse led all the way and won and the boys collected $1,020.

BAYMAN threw 20 on the bar and then split the winnings.

'I collect 600, mt79 gets 300 and punky gets 100.'

punky was furious that he only got 100 and asked why. BAYMAN said 'i get 600 for 6 inches. mt79 gets 300 for 3 inches and you get 100 for that lousy inch that you produced'.

Punk threw a tantrum in the middle of the betting ring. and said ' fellas thats still not f*****g fair that i only get a 100 and besides if i didnt have a FAT we would have backed number 9'.

[bayman]

not a bad joke an oldy but a goody but to get serious for a minute i remember when we were all at the cricket & one of the windies players were in the toilet standing next to punk & he said to punk you've got a w & y tatt on your ol' fella what does that mean man ? he said that when aroused it says wendy after his mrs, just then punk caught out of the corner of his eye the cricketers apendage & punk said i've noticed you've got a w & y tatt as well & is your mrs called wendy to ? he said no man my tatt says 'welcome to jamaica i hope you have a lovely holiday

[mal]

not a bad joke an oldy but a goody but to get serious for a minute i remember when we were all at the cricket & one of the windies players were in the toilet standing next to punk & he said to punk you've got a w & y tatt on your ol' fella what does that mean man ? he said that when aroused it says wendy after his mrs, just then punk caught out of the corner of his eye the cricketers apendage & punk said i've noticed you've got a w & y tatt as well & is your mrs called wendy to ? he said no man my tatt says 'welcome to jamaica i hope you have a lovely holiday

classic.