Is your scenario an example of an outcome that can happen in a patriarchal society? I think it could be - in that women are learning that the only way to get respect and to ensure boundaries are protected is to resort to physical violence.Dogwatcher wrote:morell wrote: Zartan's quote "Another players girl" (I'm not having a go here Zarts, just an example) implies that player owns the girl, and that the fight was caused by a "disagreement of ownership". The only "fight" that should be happening is a constructive, private, verbal one between the two in the relationship about where the lines are.
So when Women A has a verbal altercation with Women B, which eventually results in hair pulling, face-scratching and rolling around on the floor with flailing arms and cries of "on, no you din't" from a ring of handbag clutching friends surrounding them, because Women B slept with Women A's man, is that part of our patriarchal society?
I love this paragraph from the following article:
It’s gender roles that allow this violence to thrive. Men are trained to be the protector, the provider. So for some men, when they feel like they’re out of control, or they’re unable to protect, or there’s resistance to their needs being met, that somehow means they’re less of a man. All of their focus is on getting back in control, to make them the man they need to be.
https://www.themonthly.com.au/issue/201 ... ome-truths
It's so typical of men who don't want to confront this ugly part of our culture - "but but us too! Men are victims as well!" and/or "but women are mean as well!" and/or "Women can be perpetrators of physical violence!". Sure, those statements are correct, but they're ad-hoc incidents rather than systematic. 87% of domestic violence victims are women. A woman is murdered every week. One is hospitalised every three hours.
So a fight being caused over "a players girl" or saying "don't bang my sister" are responses by men feeling like they need to control or own women. That is caused by a pre conceived notion of a man's role in society. Those gender roles are defined by a patriarchal system.
Q is absolutely right in that we need to redefine masculinity. We can start by adjusting the language we use. Then by removing the notion of protecting your sister/mother/wife/girlfriend from a consensual sexual relationship and punching on because your partner crossed your relationship boundaries from our moral "bro code".