The Bedge wrote:"Insert catchy headline here about Pulteney for review"
Unfortunately that's about as positive as it gets.. A Saturday morning trek out to the South Tce parkland, and Morgan Oval - a ground/area that has so much positive going for it (beautiful grounds, picturesque view, brilliant playground) when the weather is on the brighter, warmer side.. but also, so much equally against it.
Setting the scene, arrival at 9am for the C grade fixture, and in the back of my mind excited to potentially get one of the few car parks close to the ground - ALAS! I had forgot to factor in the school junior sport taking place, and therefore parking once again at a premium.. all good we know that's generally the case.
Trudging through the water sodden playground, where a couple of braved children tried to battle the tough conditions for a play still - god bless their cotton socks! Unfortunately their adventure time was quickly cut short as a large contingent of local inhabitants arrived and setup camp in the toilet cubicle space - intoxicated, drug influenced and quickly rowdy and aggressive, they quickly scared all and sundry away from the area.
This turned the away changerooms into the new public toilets for men, women and children, who dared not head to the playground. Unfortunate, would've been really disappointing had it been a beautiful day that children would feel unable to utilise the fantastic playground facilities. Anyway, no fault of the home club.
Open ground, windy as hell, freezing cold, rain came and went, watching balls sail over my head all day, slapped with the friendly banter from the Blues playing stocks for 8 quarters, copping friendly fire from team mates.. I was hating life.. my only saving grace - the thought of the hot BBQ that I could enjoy post game.. wondering what splendid proteins and nourishment combinations await.. I can only imagine its the same way soldiers feel about their loved ones when their on the front lines, that glimmer and reminder of love and hope that keeps them strong and battling on.
Weeeeelllll let me tell you!!!!
Arrival at the BBQ, limited selection of options available - that's ok if done right - not particularly well advertised either (your Arial, size 12 font on the bottom of a laminated A4 sheets which also outlines drink availability doesn't suffice). I promptly asked for the "Steak sandwich with the lot" - $6.. happily paid overs because I didn't want the change such was my anticipation and desperation for a lovely feed.
"The lot" - what a misleading statement... apparently "The lot" is just fancy college talk for ONION.
Two pieces of stone cold marinated minute steak - practically frozen - with a rasher of equally disappointing bacon, and topped with more cold onion precariously placed on an undersized hot dog bun. Informed I could add some of the grated cheese and a selection of their sauce options (tomato and bbq - not even any mustard!) Oh boy oh boy thank you, how generous!
None the less I soldiered on, trying to find an element of positivity at the abomination placed before me.. rain began to pour, no where to shelter from the elements, combined with a lack of seating options - after two games all I wanted to do was sit down and relax for a bit - and here I was chewing on this cold piece of steak thinking this would make an ideal dog chew toy.
Last year was a cheap Woolies snag, badly burnt and soaked in oil that had been sitting in the bottom of the tray, terribly over priced and served in stale bread.
Two trips to Blue land, twice disappointed. Firmly positioned as the worst catering in the amateur league.
Cant finish on those negatives though, must be some positives so here are my top 3:
1) Playground facilities are brilliant
2) Hot water in the change rooms were awesome - god send after playing in ice cold conditions
3) Your BBQ trailer setup is actually pretty cool - just a shame the rest is dog shit.
BBQ rating: 0/5
What's wrong with you ?
After being dished up dog shit two years in a row you do nothing about it.
Ever heard of returning to the BBQ acting intoxicated and knocking over the food table by accident, who knows you might even get in a fight to warm yourself up.
Think outside the square Bedge.