stan wrote:Corona Man wrote:So.... that went well.
Give us the details mate
What follows is a tale that could be attributed to just about any lower grade park cricket team in the country...
Going into the game I was fairly confident about our chances. We were playing Rosanna, a bigger, stronger club than ours, and a team that sits below us on the table. Our game earlier in the season was a tight, they got up by about a dozen runs, but I "thought" we had a bit better team this time around. So it's our 3rd team playing their 4ths.
I arrive at the ground and there were about 3 or 4 of our guys already there, positive signs. A few of their blokes rocked up, and I am looking at their group, thinking I don't recall too many of these blokes. A lot younger playing group than ours.... oh well doesn't mean they can bat or bowl better than us, probably got us covered in the field.... meh. The average age of their team - mid 20's, the average age of our team mid 40's.
20 minutes before we are due to start, and I have 7 blokes at the ground, great. We toss the coin, I win it, "we'll bat thanks mate"...... oppo skip says in passing that, their 3rd grade team (who play in a higher grade) has been gifted a forfeit, and half of those guys are playing in this game today..... You are "probably a bit stiff" he remarks. Hmm don't think I will share that bit of info with my blokes, just let that ride.
So of the blokes not at the ground now with 15 minutes to go, includes one of my opening bats. Brilliant. A bloke, in his mid 50's, who has lived in the North East of Melbourne, all his life. Has played at this ground before, and has kids who have played soccer here too. Message comes through he is lost & can't find the ground...... FFS. He arrives with enough time to throw his pads on & wander out onto the ground.
So to my pre-match "rev up"...... Ok boys, we have a great opportunity today to chalk up a win, we execute our skills, the result takes care of itself. The batting plan is Huss (coming back from injury, and a capable higher grade bat) is going to bat the entire innings (35 overs) the rest of us will bat around him. So when you get your chance, have a look at the bowling, give yourself a chance, then be positive & look to score..... simples.
Huss & Old mate (No GPS) get us off to a steady start......Old Mate eventually chops one back on, and registers a 9 over duck..... solid effort. I trot out at 3. Huss gets a handy in swinger from a left arm kid that is not going to miss and he is judged LBW...... looked pretty close to me at the non strikers - 2/11. Dan (a big Sri Lankan bloke) batting 4, comes in, and we knock a few runs around, until he missed a full toss, shin high crashing into middle, gonski 3/18.
So my number 5 batter is Thomastown's leading drug dealer, and would have had a "choof" behind the change rooms, without doubt. Takes guard left handed.... then proceeded to face up right handed...... after the oppo skip had set the field for a left hander. It takes all types! He promptly misses the first ball and losses his off stump. 4/18.
I look over to the boundary waiting for the number 6 to join me. A young kid, actually a junior (U/16) and then I realise, he was not even at the ground when the game started. FFS, as it turned out he never arrived so we are playing with 10. So Ok send in number 7. Well he is umpiring at square leg, and still not even in his whites! It's farcical now.
So the normal number 8 joins me. Young bloke, so nervous you can see his heart beating through his playing shirt. I tell him to be calm, just focus on the ball. We need to be together at the 18 over drinks break. Yep no problem he assures me. First ball he faces he mows to cow corner for 4.... Next over he losses his middle pole. 5/23.
Out comes the number 7, who was at square leg to join me. I cop a slower ball bouncer that I was going to cut, then change my mind an try to pull..... end up doing neither and bunt a simple catch back to the bowler 6/28. At this stage 40 runs looks a long way off.
The last 2 blokes in the team are both genuine number 11's, they may as well draw straws they are both awful. Anywho, my number 10 bats like I have never seen him before. He made 28, and chatting to him after the game its his 3rd ever highest score. He made 30, once! We limp to 74 all out, in the 32nd over.
So we are defending 74, and a quickish ground, with 10 players. Awesome. To my pre bowling rev-up. Boys we all know that's a small total, and we are 1 short in the field. So we are going to attack, I will be setting off side fields, so you must bowl an off stump line, or you'll go the journey. If they want to go to the leg side, they are going to need to drag it from outside off,,,, right lads? We know these blokes will just want to knock these runs over quickly. That gives us a chance to take some early wickets and apply a bit of pressure to them.
They made the runs none done in 16 overs.
Beer was cold, so was my punting, no collects from 8 bets.
Get back to our home ground to see our 2nds loose. They got knocked over for 65, makes our 74 look mammoth.
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