Things that make you laugh

[mighty_tiger_79]

the company who contracts out, knows there is a problem, talk to the workers about the situation and then will take it to the contractors management.

the contractors management will then try to kick the ass of everybody below them, but they dont realise is everyone else knew about it before them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

absolutely sensational

[Psyber]

A friend just sent me this:
I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking....
Scared the shit out of me.
So that's it!
After today, no more reading.

[smac]

Spent the last couple of days with the kids on holidays... Flat out from St Kilda playground to bike rides to beach fun to a trip to the movies this afternoon.

Picked up Mrs Smac from work and got home and slotted into the usual rush of baths and dinner. Mrs Smac asks me where Elisabeth is (the littlest smac, 2 and a half years old). I hadn't seen or heard from her since we got home.

Start looking, to find her in her bedroom coating herself (take that in the literal sense please) in sun cream - head to toe. She wanted to go outside (at least the message has sunk in with her - go outside, need sun cream).

After I stopped laughing, she got her second bath in 45 minutes and her bed clothes all got a wash.

[Dirko]

Mrs Smac asks me where Elisabeth is (the littlest smac, 2 and a half years old). I hadn't seen or heard from her since we got home.

Start looking, to find her in her bedroom coating herself (take that in the literal sense please) in sun cream - head to toe. She wanted to go outside (at least the message has sunk in with her - go outside, need sun cream).

After I stopped laughing, she got her second bath in 45 minutes and her bed clothes all got a wash.

ha...been there done that...the key there is "hadn't seen or heard = trouble"...happened to me last week, except powder and all the ABC's !!

Had a shitty day too, but laughed it off once I'd vacuumed, bathed, mopped etc etc a whole thing of powder up...

[JK]

My 5 year old nephews doing their Austin Powers impersonations, one of the little buggers has Fat Bastard down to a T.

[johntheclaret]

Latest courtroom drama from the local rag.

This is about two brothers who apparently live next door to each other. The story goes that brother A had made a shepards pie for their tea. Brother B complained that the pie should have had a layer of tomatoes on the top. An arguement ensued resulting in Brother A hitting Brother B with a shovel. He claimed that he only did this because Brother B had threatened to burn down Brother A's house, with brother A still in it.

The court was told that this threat was taken serously as Brother B already had a history of asron attack.

Both brothers agreed that the argument got out of hand because they had both been drinking since 7:00am that morning.

In summing up the judge then asked, "does a shpards pie have tomatoes in it" to which the defence lawyer said it didn't. The prosectuting lawyer replied that a shpard pie must have a layer of tomatoes in it or it would be a cottage pie. The judge then asked the court recorder for some advice on the matter to which she replied that she had heard of people putting tomatoes in their shapards pie but it was quite a new thing and was more popular with men than women, although it was more common to use tomatoes in a Hotpot.

The trial was adjourned pending pre-sentence reports.

Only in Lancashire

[JK]

LMAO ... Needed a laugh this morning Johnnyboy, cheers for that

[johntheclaret]

LMAO ... Needed a laugh this morning Johnnyboy, cheers for that

What makes them laughable, these are true court reports printed in th local news paper.

No wonder Burnleyites are known as Dingles

[RustyCage]

I take it from this thread being 3 pages compared to a thread of 98 pages, more things give us the shits than make us laugh.

[JK]

LOL Fair comment PAFC, I guess it's a bad habit most of us have to take for granted many of the good things yet we can always rattle of the stuff that shits us.

[mighty_tiger_79]

only got told but apparently in todays paper someone in england got fined around $400 aus for not having his lid on his garbage bin

[JAS]

Latest courtroom drama from the local rag.

This is about two brothers who apparently live next door to each other. The story goes that brother A had made a shepards pie for their tea. Brother B complained that the pie should have had a layer of tomatoes on the top. An arguement ensued resulting in Brother A hitting Brother B with a shovel. He claimed that he only did this because Brother B had threatened to burn down Brother A's house, with brother A still in it.

The court was told that this threat was taken serously as Brother B already had a history of asron attack.

Both brothers agreed that the argument got out of hand because they had both been drinking since 7:00am that morning.

In summing up the judge then asked, "does a shpards pie have tomatoes in it" to which the defence lawyer said it didn't. The prosectuting lawyer replied that a shpard pie must have a layer of tomatoes in it or it would be a cottage pie. The judge then asked the court recorder for some advice on the matter to which she replied that she had heard of people putting tomatoes in their shapards pie but it was quite a new thing and was more popular with men than women, although it was more common to use tomatoes in a Hotpot.

The trial was adjourned pending pre-sentence reports.

Only in Lancashire

Outrageous comment...bloody lawyers know nothing...everyone knows that what makes the difference is the meat...lamb = shepards pie and beef = cottage pie...of course there's no tomatoes in either although you can use a little tomatoe paste to help thicken the gravy. They'll be saying you should put carrots in Cornish Pasties next

Great post JTC...and I thought some of our locals were stoooooopid

Regards
JAS

[JAS]

only got told but apparently in todays paper someone in england got fined around $400 aus for not having his lid on his garbage bin

Here you go MT79...it made last nights amin news at 6pm too

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/7360147.stm

Regards
JAS

[redden whites]

Jane Doyle and Chris McDermott talking sport on morning radio. both clueless

[Dog_ger]

only got told but apparently in todays paper someone in england got fined around $400 aus for not having his lid on his garbage bin

Here you go MT79...it made last nights amin news at 6pm too

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/7360147.stm

Regards
JAS

When I was replacing one of my corrigated iron fences with a fabulous good neighbour fence

from Stratco,

I stood all the iron up in my wheelie bin, jammed the lid shut so no one could tell.

Truck lifted the bin up with ease, only thing.... My bloody bin fell into the truck...

A few days later it was returned as my address in on the front of the bin....

[Strawb]

Poor you dog_ger these things happen.

[johntheclaret]

only got told but apparently in todays paper someone in england got fined around $400 aus for not having his lid on his garbage bin

Here you go MT79...it made last nights amin news at 6pm too

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/7360147.stm

Regards
JAS

When I was replacing one of my corrigated iron fences with a fabulous good neighbour fence

from Stratco,

I stood all the iron up in my wheelie bin, jammed the lid shut so no one could tell.

Truck lifted the bin up with ease, only thing.... My bloody bin fell into the truck...

A few days later it was returned as my address in on the front of the bin.... :oops:

the shed or the bin Dog_ger

[Dog_ger]

only got told but apparently in todays paper someone in england got fined around $400 aus for not having his lid on his garbage bin

Here you go MT79...it made last nights amin news at 6pm too

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/7360147.stm

Regards
JAS

When I was replacing one of my corrigated iron fences with a fabulous good neighbour fence

from Stratco,

I stood all the iron up in my wheelie bin, jammed the lid shut so no one could tell.

Truck lifted the bin up with ease, only thing.... My bloody bin fell into the truck...

A few days later it was returned as my address in on the front of the bin....

Sometimes my bin is so heavy,

I think the truck will turn on it's side trying to pick my wheelie bin up....

[Dog_ger]

In the old days there was a song....

Baz and pilko used to sing it on their breakfast show if my memory is correct..?

Monday's collection day, Bang go the bins....

All the dirty Garbo's cart away our sins.....

Something like that...

[Strawb]

I know a few Garbo's who wish we had the good old days where they collected and went through our garbage. These guys would break bags and find all kinds of wonderful stuff and they did admit they couldn't look some people in the eye directly after collecting their garbage.