Things that make you laugh

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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby RB » Wed Nov 14, 2018 11:50 am

amber_fluid wrote:I’m not the **** that can’t count it’s the younger generation today that can’t!

You might want to turn your focus to punctuation and grammar though.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 12:04 pm

amber_fluid wrote:
stan wrote:
Booney wrote:If you can't eat a sausage and onion in bread without endangering your life the gene pool doesn't need you.
Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

This is on par with another talking about putting barcodes on money because people can't count.

FFS we are really doing well as a race at the moment.


I’m not the **** that can’t count it’s the younger generation today that can’t!


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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby amber_fluid » Wed Nov 14, 2018 12:05 pm

RB wrote:
amber_fluid wrote:I’m not the **** that can’t count it’s the younger generation today that can’t!

You might want to turn your focus to punctuation and grammar though.


Not sure if you can put a barcode on that.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby locky801 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:21 pm

Wedgies sense of humour

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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Wedgie » Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:38 pm

locky801 wrote:Wedgies sense of humour

19thman.png


Don't encourage me. ;)
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Grenville » Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:01 am

Footy Chick wrote:
Booney wrote:If you can't eat a sausage and onion in bread without endangering your life the gene pool doesn't need you.


I know you're taking the piss here - however one generally wouldn't endanger their own life by a piece of onion falling off their snag and lets face it - some operators are pretty slack in their placement of onion.

However an unsuspecting bystander may have fallen and done themselves a mischief as a result of said fallen onion.

Unfortunately, it's the litigious world we live in nowadays .


Correct, this prick was after a handout and saw an opportunity.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Lightning McQueen » Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:44 am

Lightning McQueen wrote:Chick at work totally taking the piss, has a horrible attendance record but has excelled recently.
Here's the last 5 weeks.

Week 1: Had the Tuesday off.
Week 2: Went home early Wednesday, took the Thursday and Friday off.
Week 3: Had the Monday off.
Week 4: Had Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off.
This week: Has had Monday and today off, hasn't been here for a week this time.

The laws are so crap now, there's people out there desperate for employment.

Still not back, 7 consecutive days this run.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:45 am

Lightning McQueen wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:Chick at work totally taking the piss, has a horrible attendance record but has excelled recently.
Here's the last 5 weeks.

Week 1: Had the Tuesday off.
Week 2: Went home early Wednesday, took the Thursday and Friday off.
Week 3: Had the Monday off.
Week 4: Had Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off.
This week: Has had Monday and today off, hasn't been here for a week this time.

The laws are so crap now, there's people out there desperate for employment.

Still not back, 7 consecutive days this run.


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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Lightning McQueen » Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:47 am

HH3 wrote:
She's livin the dream

Absolutely, it's trending here now though, there's another one giving the sick hotline a caning lately.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:03 am

Once they realise they can get away with it, you have a problem.

I think I've told this story before. Before I was in charge of the warehouse, two of the storeman were arguing about who had had more time off. It was very rare that both of them were at work on the same day.

To settle the argument, one of the rocket surgeons decided to ask the General Manager to check the records.

Both of them had had over 50 days off that financial year, and there was only one day difference between them.

The GM at the time was useless, so hadnt noticed until the warehouse guys basically dobbed themselves in. They got a talking to by the toothless tiger, and came into work every day for probably three weeks. After that, it went back to normal, with them taking alternating days off, with no consequences.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Lightning McQueen » Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:11 am

HH3 wrote:Once they realise they can get away with it, you have a problem.

I think I've told this story before. Before I was in charge of the warehouse, two of the storeman were arguing about who had had more time off. It was very rare that both of them were at work on the same day.

To settle the argument, one of the rocket surgeons decided to ask the General Manager to check the records.

Both of them had had over 50 days off that financial year, and there was only one day difference between them.

The GM at the time was useless, so hadnt noticed until the warehouse guys basically dobbed themselves in. They got a talking to by the toothless tiger, and came into work every day for probably three weeks. After that, it went back to normal, with them taking alternating days off, with no consequences.

That is Gold.

It pisses me off because I have to pick up the slack and yes, it becomes the norm as there is always someone to compare with if they come down on you.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Booney » Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:20 am

I'd regularly be dropping in "Oh, I wish *insert name here* was here to help, is she ok?"
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:23 am

The highlight of my week was Tuesday morning, when the lady I share an office with called in sick.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby tipper » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:17 am

Lightning McQueen wrote:
Lightning McQueen wrote:Chick at work totally taking the piss, has a horrible attendance record but has excelled recently.
Here's the last 5 weeks.

Week 1: Had the Tuesday off.
Week 2: Went home early Wednesday, took the Thursday and Friday off.
Week 3: Had the Monday off.
Week 4: Had Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off.
This week: Has had Monday and today off, hasn't been here for a week this time.

The laws are so crap now, there's people out there desperate for employment.

Still not back, 7 consecutive days this run.


maybe she slipped on some onion?
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:32 am

Every morning, I get in an hour earlier than my officemate, and grab all the work she didnt get done the day before and smash it out. This usually puts me behind most days, and depending on the day, can seriously f**k me.

Today I looked at the full tray, and thought "Nah, f**k her" and left it in there. Now I'm doing some stuff I've been trying to do for weeks.

The best part is the snarky comments she's been making about how full her tray is.

If I could fire her, she'd be gone today.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Booney » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:33 am

HH3 wrote:Every morning, I get in an hour earlier than my officemate, and grab all the work she didnt get done the day before and smash it out. This usually puts me behind most days, and depending on the day, can seriously f**k me.

Today I looked at the full tray, and thought "Nah, f**k her" and left it in there. Now I'm doing some stuff I've been trying to do for weeks.

The best part is the snarky comments she's been making about how full her tray is.

If I could fire her, she'd be gone today.


Wasting your precious time.
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:36 am

Booney wrote:
HH3 wrote:Every morning, I get in an hour earlier than my officemate, and grab all the work she didnt get done the day before and smash it out. This usually puts me behind most days, and depending on the day, can seriously f**k me.

Today I looked at the full tray, and thought "Nah, f**k her" and left it in there. Now I'm doing some stuff I've been trying to do for weeks.

The best part is the snarky comments she's been making about how full her tray is.

If I could fire her, she'd be gone today.


Wasting your precious time.


Exactly
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby HH3 » Thu Nov 15, 2018 1:41 pm

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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Booney » Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:10 pm

Do people think the sausage is some kind of magical device that will prevent the onions from falling off the bread? How will the sausage stop the onions from falling?

What then if the bread gets so soggy as the oily onions have sodden the bread to a point that it loses all structural integrity and the onions burn your hands? Will we now need the onions presented tepid to avoid burn hazards?

What if the lubricious onions fail to prevent the aforementioned sausage from slipping and, not unlike a seagull, you find yourself in a position of vulnerability with a length of sausage down your throat?
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Re: Things that make you laugh

Postby Footy Chick » Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:13 pm

Funny to think that snags in bread have structural integrity :lol:
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