As someone who grow up watching country footy, often from the confines of a parked car, i agree 100% with Tassie.
To make the day complete:

Someone's dog needs to run on the oval

Some kid needs to walk around the boundary at 3/4 time holding a sign with the raffle winner

Should be about 5 games in one day, starting @ 9am for the little kids

Some fat bloke will need to play full forward, not run, and kick a dozen + goals

The "ladies" will play netball at the same time on the netball/tennis courts

The bbq will have the best steak burgers (which were stll on 4 legs the day before)

BOG will win a meat tray

Will be a big brawl, between two blokes who punched each other the last 7 times these teams met.

If you know the bloke on the gate you may get a discount on entry price

The oval will be the exact same size as the MCG, which allegedly every country oval is, even if it isn't

The ladies auxilary will prepare a magnificent array of buns

The umpire will be over 45, will work for a bank or post office, and 'should have retired years ago, he hates us"

Will be a bloke playing for the other team who used to play for our team. Boo.

Someone will take the hanger of the year

most people will drive home pissed

the local cop, after playing and getting in a brawl with a bloke he picked up for drink driving 6 months before, will also drive home pissed

allegedly the captain is knocking off his best mates girlfriend, and she is the star goal shooter in the netball team

VB's will be cheap and cold

a great day guaranteed!