BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

[brod]

Funny stuff..love blue lyrca man

[Strawb]

Funny stuff..love blue lyrca man

Gold there classic. Why are us men so easily amused by things that look like our junk.

[OnSong]

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him...

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and
solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the
best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me.'

[Booney]

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him...

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and
solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the
best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me.'

[Media Park]

Nice work OnSong...

[valleys07]

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him...

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and
solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the
best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me.'

Love it!

[85 WAS A GOOD YEAR]

INDIANS DON'T USE SADDLES....
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down....

An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

' What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked the service-station attendant. 'Nothing,' the woman answered.

'I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.'

'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians don't use saddles'.

[JK]

http://www.wimp.com/animalvoiceovers/

[mickey]

From Mork & Mindy this afternoon...

Mindy: "Mork, do you know what bigotry is?"

Mork: "Yes, its whats in the forests in Italy, 'now thats a bigga tree"

[Big Phil]

http://www.wimp.com/animalvoiceovers/

That's a ripper CP, I've seen it before but fantastic again...

I love the beat boxing squirrel and the the little fella trying to find 'Allen'

[Sorry Dude]

From Mork & Mindy this afternoon...

Mindy: "Mork, do you know what bigotry is?"

Mork: "Yes, its whats in the forests in Italy, 'now thats a bigga tree"

I love Mork and Mindy

[tipper]

Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't
come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the
volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate
were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a
goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Phil: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Phil: - Me? Never.
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish,
I've told you about your sex life!
Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Eric: - Nope.
Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.

[Choccies]

What's the difference between Iron man and Iron woman?

Iron man is a superhero, Iron woman is a simple instruction...

[OnSong]

What's the difference between Iron man and Iron woman?

Iron man is a superhero, Iron woman is a simple instruction...

Classic!

[JK]

What's the difference between Iron man and Iron woman?

Iron man is a superhero, Iron woman is a simple instruction...

LMAO

[The Dark Knight]

What's the difference between Iron man and Iron woman?

Iron man is a superhero, Iron woman is a simple instruction...

Ha!

[smac]

A simple instruction that most of us are too scared to actually say...

[tipper]

no, i say it all the time




i just make sure my wife cant hear me when i say it

[Media Park]

Little boy is dining with his parents when he asks "mummy, what's between your legs?"
mum says "heaven, son."
Little boy says ""Daddy, whats between your legs?"
dad says "the key to heaven son."
Little boy says "well daddy, you'd better change the locks, all your friends have the spare key..."

[Wedgie]

No racist jokes please folks.