Funny things kids say and do

[nuggety goodness]

My kids are hilarious! I am constantly wetting myself laughing at them!

And i figure I'm not the only one so put your classic kid stories in here for a laugh!

Last night little miss (4) was eating her dinner and stuffed her gob chockas.
Me - how do you fit so much in there?
Her - I've got a big mouth dad..... like you

Mrs NG spat her drink out!

[whufc]

My 6 year old on entry to globe derby.

Baylee- "Dad this is really nice dad"

Me- 'What nice darling'

Baylee- "They have horse racing for disabled people"

Me- hmmmmmmmmm

[Dogwatcher]

My youngest, who will be five in a week, had been in bed an hour last night, then comes out to us crying.
"What's the matter, Sweetie?"
"I don't want to get old, I'm scared of it."

Midlife crisis hits early these days. Haven't even had mine yet.

[Lightning McQueen]

A few years ago when my son was about 5 or 6 our Christmas lunch was ready for serving, my lad was playing with his cousins when I called out to him "Hey, you want some lunch?"
"What is it?" His reply was
"Roast and stuff"
"OK, I'll have some roast but I don't want any stuff".

[Lightning McQueen]

Same kid when he was a bit younger was disgusted when I came back from the shops with new shoes for his sister.
"What's wrong buddy"
"It's not fair, you go to the shops and get Chelsea some shoes but you get me none things".
His sister and I silently cracked up.
A few weeks later my daughter wanted something while we were doing groceries to which I told her that she couldn't have, she gave me the evil eye and I was in the bad books.
We got to the checkout and the checkout chick asked me if I needed any bags, I looked at my daughter and said to the chick "Yes please, I have none bags"
The wife and the daughter just looked at me like with the utmost embarrassment.

To this day, we use the word "none" in the wrong context as a running joke, all my work colleagues do the same thing too.

[Lightning McQueen]

My youngest, who will be five in a week, had been in bed an hour last night, then comes out to us crying.
"What's the matter, Sweetie?"
"I don't want to get old, I'm scared of it."

Midlife crisis hits early these days. Haven't even had mine yet.

I must say, death scared me big time as a young kid, I reckon it was the movie "White Line Fever" that haunted me for ages.

[Booney]

Same kid when he was a bit younger was disgusted when I came back from the shops with new shoes for his sister.
"What's wrong buddy"
"It's not fair, you go to the shops and get Chelsea some shoes but you get me none things".
His sister and I silently cracked up.
A few weeks later my daughter wanted something while we were doing groceries to which I told her that she couldn't have, she gave me the evil eye and I was in the bad books.
We got to the checkout and the checkout chick asked me if I needed any bags, I looked at my daughter and said to the chick "Yes please, I have none bags"
The wife and the daughter just looked at me like with the utmost embarrassment.

To this day, we use the word "none" in the wrong context as a running joke, all my work colleagues do the same thing too.

Miss Boon ( soon to be 15 ) said as a little tacker "all volit" instead of "all of it". It still gets run out by close family and friends.

[Dogwatcher]

My youngest, who will be five in a week, had been in bed an hour last night, then comes out to us crying.
"What's the matter, Sweetie?"
"I don't want to get old, I'm scared of it."

Midlife crisis hits early these days. Haven't even had mine yet.

I must say, death scared me big time as a young kid, I reckon it was the movie "White Line Fever" that haunted me for ages.

I guess death may have been at the heart of it, but she didn't mention it.
She was more concerned about the things she'd have to do as an adult.
She's a very perceptive kid.

[Booney]

My youngest, who will be five in a week, had been in bed an hour last night, then comes out to us crying.
"What's the matter, Sweetie?"
"I don't want to get old, I'm scared of it."

Midlife crisis hits early these days. Haven't even had mine yet.

I must say, death scared me big time as a young kid, I reckon it was the movie "White Line Fever" that haunted me for ages.

I guess death may have been at the heart of it, but she didn't mention it.
She was more concerned about the things she'd have to do as an adult.
She's a very perceptive kid.

I often lay in bed crying, thinking about what I have to do as an adult.

[Lightning McQueen]

I often lay in bed crying, thinking about what I have to do as an adult.

Thinking of some of the things I've done as an adult makes me cry!!

[Spangas]

Eating breakfast with my two year old yard ape yesterday. I lean over and let rip with a nice fart. He looks at me, leans over and with a red face push out comes a little squeakkkk. Followed by "fart, dad". I've never been so proud.

[MatteeG]

Youngest (miss 2) in the bath the other night and was splashing around with a pink loofah (Body scrubbing cloth on a rope for the blokes playing out there).

I say "Are you playing with your loofah?"

Mr 5 bursts in- "Yeah, Lex Loofah".

PMSL

[gadj1976]

Few years ago now, but my niece aged 3 or 4 was walking in my parents front door.

I put my arm across it to block her entry and said "what do you say".

She said "move".

[Failed Creation]

My youngest nephew likes to flip me the bird, and call me a poofter...

I've been called worse.

[HH3]

My youngest nephew likes to flip me the bird, and call me a poofter...

I've been called worse.

He's 28

[Failed Creation]

My youngest nephew likes to flip me the bird, and call me a poofter...

I've been called worse.

He's 28

Hahaha, take off 25 years and you'll be on the money.

[bennymacca]

My youngest nephew likes to flip me the bird, and call me a poofter...

I've been called worse.

you train them port fans early dont you

[Failed Creation]

My youngest nephew likes to flip me the bird, and call me a poofter...

I've been called worse.

you train them port fans early dont you

He's a Dees fan, like one of his uncles.

I couldn't look after a piece of paper.

[Dogwatcher]

My youngest nephew likes to flip me the bird, and call me a poofter...

I've been called worse.

you train them port fans early dont you

He's a Dees fan, like one of his uncles.

I couldn't look after a piece of paper.

Right, so now we know who lost the famed Running Sheet!

[Failed Creation]

My youngest nephew likes to flip me the bird, and call me a poofter...

I've been called worse.

you train them port fans early dont you

He's a Dees fan, like one of his uncles.

I couldn't look after a piece of paper.

Right, so now we know who lost the famed Running Sheet!

Here's the other thing; I don't run.

If you ever see me running, you ought to start running too, because something dangerous is chasing me.